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Andy Kaufman

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A lot of women watch porn too, many men are just too afraid to ask them or talk it up.

One date of mine, a few years back, it was the first one, we were meeting at a lounge, wanted to show me something on her phone, chrome browser and it had several pornhub tabs open she forgot to purge. I was like "Oh you wanna try this with me ? Nice"

And I sometimes watch porn with my gfs to like discover things to try out and to get horny.

If you are not a creep you can strike up this conversation with any woman. One time a fwb wanted me to fuck her analy because my dick was too big for her tiny pussy (she was smol too) because she kept watching anal porn during masturbation.

In healthy doses with other people its ok, but just like alcohol, if you do it regularly (yes every 2 days is also regularly) alone its an addiction and you obviously need something else to fill your time.
this
This is dead on. Those that self identify as incels show an intense interest in number based appearance ranking and a system called "looksmaxxing" wherein they attempted to make themselves as beautiful as possible despite their genetics being 100% against them ever being attractive to anyone (according to themself). It appears to be a massive projection of their own obsessive insecurity about appearances onto all others, and with that an obsession over what others think of the appearance of oneself and their partner, and how the attractiveness of one's partner reflects on one's own quality as a person. Must suck to be stuck in that mindset.
What I don't get is how incels collectively try to hold up their wierd illusions and headcanons about dating/women and seem to get thier 'lore' only from people who admittedly have little or no contact to women, forming this wierd circle jerk/safe space.
 
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Hobbies aren't a turnoff.
Not quite. When I say video games will stop you from finding anyone it's not the video games in of themselves. One CAN play a video game and come out of it completely functioning. In fact I would say this was much more common back in the 80s, 90s, and 2000s as back then you didn't have a slew of free to play multiplayer competitive online games to choose from. Most games were single player and had a price tag attached to them. I should also note that most competitive games weren't serious ranked competitions and were instead casual like old TF2. With the 2010s came the rise of free, ranked, competitive online games as well as streaming. What happened after that was that it was easier than ever to emerse yourself in gaming culture which resulted in a generation of socially stunted manchildren whose only real connection came from video games and nerd content. These people usually only speak to other constantly online nerds which creates what's called an isolated social node. That is a group which does not expand and is heavily inward looking. Other types of social connections consistently expand to meet new people and gain real world experience. Nerd groups typically don't do this which results in isolation and celibacy. Unless you break this cycle you will remain a virgin. That is why I will tell people to give up video games because to be invested in them in this day and age is effectively like being a monk with none of the spiritual benefits.
 

handoferis

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Not quite. When I say video games will stop you from finding anyone it's not the video games in of themselves. One CAN play a video game and come out of it completely functioning. In fact I would say this was much more common back in the 80s, 90s, and 2000s as back then you didn't have a slew of free to play multiplayer competitive online games to choose from. Most games were single player and had a price tag attached to them. I should also note that most competitive games weren't serious ranked competitions and were instead casual like old TF2. With the 2010s came the rise of free, ranked, competitive online games as well as streaming. What happened after that was that it was easier than ever to emerse yourself in gaming culture which resulted in a generation of socially stunted manchildren whose only real connection came from video games and nerd content. These people usually only speak to other constantly online nerds which creates what's called an isolated social node. That is a group which does not expand and is heavily inward looking. Other types of social connections consistently expand to meet new people and gain real world experience. Nerd groups typically don't do this which results in isolation and celibacy. Unless you break this cycle you will remain a virgin. That is why I will tell people to give up video games because to be invested in them in this day and age is effectively like being a monk with none of the spiritual benefits.
I mean essentially what you're saying here is 'it's fine to play games, just don't be a gamer" right?

Cause having your sense of identity be "i play videogames" was cringe even before they started pushing it as an identity to buy into. It's like saying "yo, I'm a tv watcher" or some shit.
 
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I mean essentially what you're saying here is 'it's fine to play games, just don't be a gamer" right?

Cause having your sense of identity be "i play videogames" was cringe even before they started pushing it as an identity to buy into. It's like saying "yo, I'm a tv watcher" or some shit.
Yeah the term "gamer" was always cringe. Really cringe. But the thing is that you should only play video games IF you can control it. And that's a pretty big if. I'd say the only situation where it's ok is if it's around one hour per day and no more. Games like fortnite are designed to be addictive as is every multiplayer game. But the thing is that it gets worse than that. Many games now pursue an open world design which is meant to maximise playing times. Look at the new Sonic game. It's apparently 30 hours and that's the shorter end of modern gaming. Most modern games have huge amounts of content which makes the games less satisifying. Look at the Mario series. When you collected a star in Super Mario galaxy it was way more satisifying because there were only 150 stars (or so I remember). Whereas in the latest Mario game there are somewhere around 800 moons. When the content expands it effectively requires that players spend more time on the game in order to get the satisifaction you would have gotten on an old 10 hour game. Not to mention the fact that the difficultly curb is way down. Modern games are an absolute cake walk. They have to be in order to acccommodate the increased hours of content. Do you think anyone would be willing to play a challenging 50 hour game? 50 hours of challenging content would ware anyone down. In such a situation only the most hardcore of players could play. So you can play but it's an uphill battle. My advice would be to stick to older games or select for new releases in the style of older titles (the indie market can fill this demand).
 

handoferis

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Yeah the term "gamer" was always cringe. Really cringe. But the thing is that you should only play video games IF you can control it. And that's a pretty big if. I'd say the only situation where it's ok is if it's around one hour per day and no more. Games like fortnite are designed to be addictive as is every multiplayer game. But the thing is that it gets worse than that. Many games now pursue an open world design which is meant to maximise playing times. Look at the new Sonic game. It's apparently 30 hours and that's the shorter end of modern gaming. Most modern games have huge amounts of content which makes the games less satisifying. Look at the Mario series. When you collected a star in Super Mario galaxy it was way more satisifying because there were only 150 stars (or so I remember). Whereas in the latest Mario game there are somewhere around 800 moons. When the content expands it effectively requires that players spend more time on the game in order to get the satisifaction you would have gotten on an old 10 hour game. Not to mention the fact that the difficultly curb is way down. Modern games are an absolute cake walk. They have to be in order to acccommodate the increased hours of content. Do you think anyone would be willing to play a challenging 50 hour game? 50 hours of challenging content would ware anyone down. In such a situation only the most hardcore of players could play. So you can play but it's an uphill battle. My advice would be to stick to older games or select for new releases in the style of older titles (the indie market can fill this demand).
I played Odyssey and got to credits rolling and then just put it down, was enough payoff for me. When I found out I needed like 100 extra moons or some shit to play even the first unlockable area I was like "nah m8 sounds long". Maybe is completionist mindset that makes people wanna play games until they fill up every possible collectible slot to maximum.
 
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ThyOde17

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The best way to kill an incel attitude is to stop worrying about fucking someone and just get into something like growing tomatoes.
 
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no_chill

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called an isolated social node.
I see, is that the reason why they are always acting super weird and deplorable when women enter this node too? Either everyone jumps on them immediately (oh you are so pretty and cute, wanna do something) or shuns them away and harasses them. And then we have things like "gamergate" and girl twitch streamer gaining horny boys en masse as followers. The 2010s were so weird in this regards 'gamergirl'
 
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Andy Kaufman

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I'd say the only situation where it's ok is if it's around one hour per day and no more
Play as much as you want as long as other important things don't suffer from it. Goes for basically everything. You can't really prescribe an optimum for everyone as everyone has individual tolerances and circumstances for that stuff.
I even know 2 people who gamble responsibly. Once or twice a month they put on suits and go to a relatively high class casino and enjoy the atmosphere and thrill. But since they always spend a set a mount of money and never go over their budget, it doesn't hurt them. For some people even going once would trigger a terrible addiction and some just never get hooked that way. I think it's the same with vidya. Just don't make it your highest priority in life and you should be fine. Friends, family, carreer and health should always come first.
 
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Fractalactals

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Sex, affection, intimacy. They are like food; to someone starving they are the whole universe, to someone who just ate they're just another part of daily life.
"Incels" as a concept is a nebulous term, it conflates terminally online misogynistic weirdos with people who are simply incapable of attracting a mate, mostly men.
The rise of invisible men, MGTOW, etc. is not for nothing. A lot of young men are not getting any, and it's getting worse.
Why that happens is a compound of many things: social media based interactions, dating apps, social disconnect and isolation, maturing later, not having your shit together, etc.

Let's not beat around the bush, not everyone is the same level of attractive, some guys can get by with being broke but hot and cool. Some guys need to be economically established to get women, some guys need to pay for prostitutes to get any.
The real issue is that the internet is an interaction maximizer engine, if you're on dating apps as a man the odds are stacked vastly against you, because there are way more men than women on those platforms and the only selling point you have is your looks. If you are outside in the real world, looks are still very important but you can still be interesting, nice or attractive in other ways.

This doesn't change the fact that I know a guy who is 5'6, balding, wears thick lens glasses, has bad facial aesthetics, a meek and unassertive personality and is just very unremarkable. He's genuinely nice and pleasant, I like him as a guy friend and I've never shunned nor do I intend to. But whenever he's hanging out in a group with me I notice how he's basically invisible to women, only being dealt the minimum interaction from them so as to not cause social friction.
There are a million copes people can come up with: "just take a shower, just get hair implants, hit the gym, become more confident, etc" but the fact of the matter is that he is an incel through no fault of his own, and because of that he has my sympathy. Worst, he's not blackpilled, he's utterly bluepilled which means he is always in this perma hopeful state of "if I'm nice and kind some girl will like me someday!".
Where to even begin?

Would the online incels benefit from going outside, talking to people and leaving their misogyny at home? For sure.
Would all of them get laid? Doubtful.
One of my biggest gripes is how the sexual market is a lot like the economic market, the rich get richer. Confidence flows downstream from success, more success gives you more confidence, failure erodes your confidence. Women are especially very well attuned to subtle cues and involuntary behavior (posture, being relaxed, being able to talk without a stutter, etc).

So I, that have no issues getting laid at all, still profess sympathy for guys who got the short end of the stick.
Like I told a female friend once; "Your issue isn't finding a man to have sex with tonight, it's picking which one you're taking home with you. For the guys, being picked is winning the lottery, and going back home alone is the default expected result."
Women in general (not speaking of autistic women or others who are not "normal") are basically incapable of understanding what that is like. Their contempt and hatred is easy to see, and I take issue with that. I was mind blown when a female friend told me she had a 1 month dry spell and was going crazy. 1 month is a lot to you? You should ask some of the guys I know, that have gone multiple years without getting any!

Also, if you want comedic videos, check out IncelTV on Youtube, I think his videos are both hilariously sad and true.
His video on Female to Male transgender people telling their reality on going from being a woman (valued, accepted, coddled by default) to an incel (short manlet with small frame, zero assertiveness, worthless by default) are very eye opening and telling to any who would try to deny what I said in this post.
 

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bnuungus

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The best way to kill an incel attitude is to stop worrying about fucking someone and just get into something like growing tomatoes.
This is the best way to go imo. Most women simply want to be treated like a person. I was talking to one of my sisters recently and somehow the discussion turned to this one guy at her uni that from her account made it very clear to me that this guy was a regular at /r9k/ and /pol/. He pulled some shit one time where he figured out this girl's home address and went over there and started this "I've been a coward" speech. What woman would actually find that attractive? It's downright creepy and it amazes me that this guy probably blamed the girl after that interaction, not himself. Just be friends with a girl before asking her out, it's not that hard.

One thing that my sister noticed that I thought was pretty neat is that she figured out what makes the guys that women find creepy seem creepy. She's dabbled in drawing before so she has this ability to notice the smallest details on people's faces and what she noticed is that every guy that's seemed creepy to her had dilated pupils (thinking with their dick). It's probably a subtle thing that people pick up on sub-consciously and what gives off the creep vibe.

Sex, affection, intimacy. They are like food; to someone starving they are the whole universe, to someone who just ate they're just another part of daily life.
"Incels" as a concept is a nebulous term, it conflates terminally online misogynistic weirdos with people who are simply incapable of attracting a mate, mostly men.
The rise of invisible men, MGTOW, etc. is not for nothing. A lot of young men are not getting any, and it's getting worse.
Why that happens is a compound of many things: social media based interactions, dating apps, social disconnect and isolation, maturing later, not having your shit together, etc.

Let's not beat around the bush, not everyone is the same level of attractive, some guys can get by with being broke but hot and cool. Some guys need to be economically established to get women, some guys need to pay for prostitutes to get any.
The real issue is that the internet is an interaction maximizer engine, if you're on dating apps as a man the odds are stacked vastly against you, because there are way more men than women on those platforms and the only selling point you have is your looks. If you are outside in the real world, looks are still very important but you can still be interesting, nice or attractive in other ways.

This doesn't change the fact that I know a guy who is 5'6, balding, wears thick lens glasses, has bad facial aesthetics, a meek and unassertive personality and is just very unremarkable. He's genuinely nice and pleasant, I like him as a guy friend and I've never shunned nor do I intend to. But whenever he's hanging out in a group with me I notice how he's basically invisible to women, only being dealt the minimum interaction from them so as to not cause social friction.
There are a million copes people can come up with: "just take a shower, just get hair implants, hit the gym, become more confident, etc" but the fact of the matter is that he is an incel through no fault of his own, and because of that he has my sympathy. Worst, he's not blackpilled, he's utterly bluepilled which means he is always in this perma hopeful state of "if I'm nice and kind some girl will like me someday!".
Where to even begin?

Would the online incels benefit from going outside, talking to people and leaving their misogyny at home? For sure.
Would all of them get laid? Doubtful.
One of my biggest gripes is how the sexual market is a lot like the economic market, the rich get richer. Confidence flows downstream from success, more success gives you more confidence, failure erodes your confidence. Women are especially very well attuned to subtle cues and involuntary behavior (posture, being relaxed, being able to talk without a stutter, etc).

So I, that have no issues getting laid at all, still profess sympathy for guys who got the short end of the stick.
Like I told a female friend once; "Your issue isn't finding a man to have sex with tonight, it's picking which one you're taking home with you. For the guys, being picked is winning the lottery, and going back home alone is the default expected result."
Women in general (not speaking of autistic women or others who are not "normal") are basically incapable of understanding what that is like. Their contempt and hatred is easy to see, and I take issue with that. I was mind blown when a female friend told me she had a 1 month dry spell and was going crazy. 1 month is a lot to you? You should ask some of the guys I know, that have gone multiple years without getting any!

Also, if you want comedic videos, check out IncelTV on Youtube, I think his videos are both hilariously sad and true.
His video on Female to Male transgender people telling their reality on going from being a woman (valued, accepted, coddled by default) to an incel (short manlet with small frame, zero assertiveness, worthless by default) are very eye opening and telling to any who would try to deny what I said in this post.
You're coming at this from the perspective of someone who enjoys casual sex whereas most of the guy's you're describing want intimacy. There's a huge difference in how you approach women depending on which of those you want. No woman is going to bang an ugly dude for just one night but ugly men get married to women all the time. How does this happen? Because the guy in that situation is strong in some way. Strong personality, emotionally dependable, monetarily stable etc. With the exception of the money bit in some extreme scenarios all of those aspects about you are things you can improve upon and they are just as good if not better than finding a life-long wife. It's not cope to say "work on your confidence" because in a lot of situations it's true. I used to be bottom of the food chain mega shy and awkward until I decided that I was sick of it so I started caring less about what other people thought of me and gradually grew into the person I am today. It can be done and just because you're ugly doesn't mean that it's impossible to find someone. It might be borderline impossible to have casual sex but I've never really seen the appeal (even less so now that I'm married, like I just don't get how that seems fun or fulfilling to anyone) and I'm guessing most incels who get lucky enough to get the seggs for one night would probably come to realize that they want intimacy, not sex
 
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Fractalactals

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You're coming at this from the perspective of someone who enjoys casual sex whereas most of the guy's you're describing want intimacy. There's a huge difference in how you approach women depending on which of those you want. No woman is going to bang an ugly dude for just one night but ugly men get married to women all the time. How does this happen? Because the guy in that situation is strong in some way. Strong personality, emotionally dependable, monetarily stable etc. With the exception of the money bit in some extreme scenarios all of those aspects about you are things you can improve upon and they are just as good if not better than finding a life-long wife. It's not cope to say "work on your confidence" because in a lot of situations it's true. I used to be bottom of the food chain mega shy and awkward until I decided that I was sick of it so I started caring less about what other people thought of me and gradually grew into the person I am today. It can be done and just because you're ugly doesn't mean that it's impossible to find someone. It might be borderline impossible to have casual sex but I've never really seen the appeal (even less so now that I'm married, like I just don't get how that seems fun or fulfilling to anyone) and I'm guessing most incels who get lucky enough to get the seggs for one night would probably come to realize that they want intimacy, not sex

I do prefer casual sex over relationships. I've done the girlfriend thing a few times and it's not for me.
Regardless, for most incels not getting sex and not getting a relationship are one and the same. The ultimate goal is to find a woman that wants to spend some time with you in an intimate manner, whether that is one night stand or a long term relationship doesn't matter as much.
A guy who is creepy won't get laid with one night stands, and sure as hell won't get a girlfriend.

The "stop caring' advice only works if you already have some qualities that make you worth anything as a person, if you stop caring about women and spend all your time doing things that don't have you interacting with women, then you're not going to get laid/get a girlfriend (this was me ten years ago), or if you stop caring about what women think but are still a creepy weirdo with weird behaviors and strange ideas you're also not going to attract anyone.

And like I said, confidence flows downstream from success. It's a lot easier to find a long term partner if you know you can find any partner at all. I'm not saying it should be free as in free beer to find a wife. But a serious lack of intimacy for a lot of men is a very serious problem for a society, and I don't think treating those men as subhuman second class citizens is a good idea, or charitable in any way to their struggles.
That's why incels are my BLM.
Incel lives matter too, they are people too. People will say "you're not entitled to women being nice to you" but then flip their shit if I say "black people are not entitled to white people being nice to them".
 

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The "stop caring' advice only works if you already have some qualities that make you worth anything as a person, if you stop caring about women and spend all your time doing things that don't have you interacting with women, then you're not going to get laid/get a girlfriend (this was me ten years ago), or if you stop caring about what women think but are still a creepy weirdo with weird behaviors and strange ideas you're also not going to attract anyone.
I disagree here. Not obsessively caring about what other people think of you boosts your confidence and makes you a more desirable person. It's not an issue of whether or not you can find a woman but an issue of being okay with who you are. That being said, building confidence can be pretty hard and is unique to every person but it can be done no matter where you are in life.

And like I said, confidence flows downstream from success. It's a lot easier to find a long term partner if you know you can find any partner at all.
While it's true that it's easier this way it's not fully true. The fake it till you make it mentality works if you're persistent enough. But this falls into my previous comment about building confidence being hard and unique to each person.

But a serious lack of intimacy for a lot of men is a very serious problem for a society, and I don't think treating those men as subhuman second class citizens is a good idea, or charitable in any way to their struggles.
I totally agree. Both people treating incels as subhuman and incels treating women as subhuman make the problems worse and actively harms both parties. Unfortunately I don't see this mentality going away at all ever bc there are always those members of society that people like to look down on to make up for their own insecurities in their own lives. All we can do is fight.

That's why incels are my BLM.
what does this even mean, lol
 
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punishedgnome

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Yeah the term "gamer" was always cringe. Really cringe. But the thing is that you should only play video games IF you can control it. And that's a pretty big if. I'd say the only situation where it's ok is if it's around one hour per day and no more. Games like fortnite are designed to be addictive as is every multiplayer game. But the thing is that it gets worse than that. Many games now pursue an open world design which is meant to maximise playing times. Look at the new Sonic game. It's apparently 30 hours and that's the shorter end of modern gaming. Most modern games have huge amounts of content which makes the games less satisifying. Look at the Mario series. When you collected a star in Super Mario galaxy it was way more satisifying because there were only 150 stars (or so I remember). Whereas in the latest Mario game there are somewhere around 800 moons. When the content expands it effectively requires that players spend more time on the game in order to get the satisifaction you would have gotten on an old 10 hour game. Not to mention the fact that the difficultly curb is way down. Modern games are an absolute cake walk. They have to be in order to acccommodate the increased hours of content. Do you think anyone would be willing to play a challenging 50 hour game? 50 hours of challenging content would ware anyone down. In such a situation only the most hardcore of players could play. So you can play but it's an uphill battle. My advice would be to stick to older games or select for new releases in the style of older titles (the indie market can fill this demand).
You're putting too much thought into it. Play games, watch your anime, whatever, just be a well rounded person who does other stuff so it's not literally the only thing you can talk about. Like dude, I'm married with two kids and I put 100 hours into BOTW playing it 2-3 hours a night for a couple months after the kids were in bed(Well, kid at the time).

*Edit* If you start playing a game and cannot stop until you have explored all its content because it's the only way to derive some form of satisfaction you may legit have an issue. I'm not being snippy, I'm serious here. You probably need other sources of satisfaction in your life like gardening or carpentry or working on an old car or a creative pursuit. Games, movies and TV are fun but they are there to fill a void in time when you have nothing else to do. They are basically mental masturbation. You're not doing anything, you're just indulging in pleasure for a period of time because you have nothing else to do and its enjoyable. Things that you derive genuine satisfaction from should be more constructive.
 
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handoferis

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One thing that my sister noticed that I thought was pretty neat is that she figured out what makes the guys that women find creepy seem creepy. She's dabbled in drawing before so she has this ability to notice the smallest details on people's faces and what she noticed is that every guy that's seemed creepy to her had dilated pupils (thinking with their dick). It's probably a subtle thing that people pick up on sub-consciously and what gives off the creep vibe.
Yeah I think this is spot on, it's almost like the same vibe you get when you see someone who's very clearly on acid (though obviously different) - there's an element of swiveleyed-ness to it. I hadn't really thought about this before but seeing it in words makes it very clear. Incidentally I dated someone like this for six months and never really put my finger on what felt off about the guy but there you go.
The "stop caring' advice only works if you already have some qualities that make you worth anything as a person, if you stop caring about women and spend all your time doing things that don't have you interacting with women, then you're not going to get laid/get a girlfriend (this was me ten years ago), or if you stop caring about what women think but are still a creepy weirdo with weird behaviors and strange ideas you're also not going to attract anyone.
It's interesting to me that you seem to think that "stop caring" means isolate yourself from any social situation involving women whatsoever. I'm currently in a kind of self-imposed dry spell going on three years now, cause my last ex fucked my trust up pretty bad and I currently don't think I'm good relationship material cause of that. I still get out, am social, I've even caught feelings one time or another with people I hang/do hobby stuff with but I just... don't act on them, cause I'm focusing on myself. Incidentally it's these casual, non-threatening social interactions that are slowly rebuilding my ability to trust and have confidence in other people (thanks coof-19, for putting that on hold) which in turn has a positive impact on how I am to be around. If I just sat at home seething about how my ex was a piece of shit and everyone was going to fuck me over in the end, that'd likely end up with me being a full-on nutcase.

Thinking about things solely in the frame of "but I wanna do sex" is skipping all the bits of personal growth you gotta do to make that bit actually pleasant.
This doesn't change the fact that I know a guy who is 5'6, balding, wears thick lens glasses, has bad facial aesthetics, a meek and unassertive personality and is just very unremarkable. He's genuinely nice and pleasant, I like him as a guy friend and I've never shunned nor do I intend to. But whenever he's hanging out in a group with me I notice how he's basically invisible to women, only being dealt the minimum interaction from them so as to not cause social friction.
There are a million copes people can come up with: "just take a shower, just get hair implants, hit the gym, become more confident, etc" but the fact of the matter is that he is an incel through no fault of his own, and because of that he has my sympathy. Worst, he's not blackpilled, he's utterly bluepilled which means he is always in this perma hopeful state of "if I'm nice and kind some girl will like me someday!".
Where to even begin?
This kinda comes round to the thing I was saying in the r*ddit cringe topic before this got split off. I'm sure this dude has at least something interesting going on for him, but if he is meek about it he's never gonna get a chance to talk about it. You do legit have to LARP as an outgoing version of yourself to get used to being like this, like wearing a WWJD bracelet but "What Would Not Shy Me Do". Also do it where there are no real consequences, like another town or something so that if you do make an arse of yourself, at least you're never going to see any of those people again. Practicing social interaction is easier once you bring down the perceived costs.
 
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Fractalactals

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It's interesting to me that you seem to think that "stop caring" means isolate yourself from any social situation involving women whatsoever. I'm currently in a kind of self-imposed dry spell going on three years now, cause my last ex fucked my trust up pretty bad and I currently don't think I'm good relationship material cause of that. I still get out, am social, I've even caught feelings one time or another with people I hang/do hobby stuff with but I just... don't act on them, cause I'm focusing on myself. Incidentally it's these casual, non-threatening social interactions that are slowly rebuilding my ability to trust and have confidence in other people (thanks coof-19, for putting that on hold) which in turn has a positive impact on how I am to be around. If I just sat at home seething about how my ex was a piece of shit and everyone was going to fuck me over in the end, that'd likely end up with me being a full-on nutcase.
Stop caring what others think of you is also what gives us gems like bronies and redditors, it's what gives us people with no hygiene or manners. I know you meant to stop caring that people judge you and try anyway. But the sort of platitudes people tell incels all the time come with a lot of asterisks attached.
My favorite one is "Just be yourself"

*be yourself as long as you're likeable, confident, have something going on, interests, a personality, etc
*be yourself EXCEPT don't be XYZ+++ that whatever group finds unacceptable
*be yourself except not too much, that's weird, stop watching anime and having waifu pillows

And so on. Like I said, my biggest issue is not that incels are owed sex, nobody is. My issue is how incels are treated, de-facto, unfairly and poorly by women through no fault of their own.
I can get away with sexist jokes around women no problem. And I know for a fact that if said 5'6 friend did the same he'd probably get shut down quick or would only get weird looks.
 

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Junious

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And like I said, confidence flows downstream from success. It's a lot easier to find a long term partner if you know you can find any partner at all. I'm not saying it should be free as in free beer to find a wife. But a serious lack of intimacy for a lot of men is a very serious problem for a society, and I don't think treating those men as subhuman second class citizens is a good idea, or charitable in any way to their struggles.
That's why incels are my BLM.
Incel lives matter too, they are people too. People will say "you're not entitled to women being nice to you" but then flip their shit if I say "black people are not entitled to white people being nice to them".
I don't think anyone is saying incel lives don't matter, more like incel communities are more toxic than beneficial to their members. I know they aren't treated as second class citizens. I know a couple boomer incels that have plodded through life and done some things, gotten some nice things for themselves, developed how they wanted to. The problem is all of them are really fucking creepy. Its the vibe of like that sweatynazi in indiana jones with the little glasses who has his face melt off at the ark opening. There is just something repulsive about them. I want to shake them and say "stop being such a fucking weirdo" and i am glad my father literally did that for me as a teen.

Do incels generally have bad dads?
 
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handoferis

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Stop caring what others think of you is also what gives us gems like bronies and redditors, it's what gives us people with no hygiene or manners. I know you meant to stop caring that people judge you and try anyway.
Arguably this is the opposite of what I was saying, which is to get outside and not worry too much about being judged (and if you do worry too much, adjust the parameters of the situation to make it low-risk). Bronies/redditors/hygieneless people are the type who go "oh, stop caring, that means sit at home and give up, right?". It's taking the words literally rather than going for the meaning behind them.
My favorite one is "Just be yourself"
This is always interesting "advice" to me because often the people who are being given this advice don't actually know who they really are, as people don't develop in a vacuum and they've often been in a social vacuum for most of their lives.
 
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