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shinobu

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Ingredients​

Cake​

  • 1L Sunflower Oil (1 bottle)
  • 1.6kg Butter (8 blocks)
  • 500g Pastry Flour
  • 200g Sprinkle Candies
  • 50g Salt
  • 300g Coffee
  • 420g Bacon (7 strips)
  • 100g Egg (1 egg)

Filling​

  • 250mL Lime Curd
  • 500mL Chocolate Cream
  • 250mL Blueberry Filling

Frosting/Icing​

  • Chocolate Cream Cheese
  • Strawberry Whipped Cream
  • Caramel
  • Chestnut Cream
  • Chocolate Ganache
  • Cookie Dough Frosting

Decorations​

  • 150mL Blue Food Dye
  • 360g Jelly Beans
  • 480g Cinnamon powder

Churros​

  • 500mL White Vinegar (1 bottle)
  • 200g Butter (1 block)
  • 200g Dark Chocolate (1 tablet)
  • 200g White Chocolate (1 tablet)
  • 500g Pastry Flour
  • 10g Lemon Zest

Utensils​

  • 1 Kneading Bowl
  • 1 Kneading Machine
  • 1 Paddle attachment
  • 1 Big Pot
  • 1 Stove
  • 1 Dough Dispenser
  • 1 Churros attachment
  • 1 Round cake pan
  • 1 Medium square cake pan
  • 1 Small heart-shaped cake pan
  • 1 Big rotating plate
  • 1 Filling Gun
  • 1 Frosting/Icing Container
  • 1 Confectionery spatula
  • 1 Pastry Syringe
  • Any Pastry Syringe attachment
  • 1 Scoop
  • 2 Cake Trays (optional)
  • 1 trash can

Instructions​

First Layer​

  1. In a Big Pot, heat up 1 liter of Sunflower Oil.
  2. Melt 600g of Butter in that pot.
  3. Place the Soup in a Kneading Bowl.
  4. Throw the Big Pot into a trashcan.
  5. Add 300g of Pastry Flour.
  6. Add 200g of Sprinkle Candies.
  7. Add 50g of Salt.
  8. Use the Paddle attachment and turn on the Kneading Machine.
  9. Pour the resulting dough into a Round Cake Pan.
  10. Bake for 4 minutes and 50 seconds at 190°C.
  11. Store the remaining dough into a drawer.
  12. Take the cake out of the cake pan.
  13. Throw the cake pan into a trashcan.
  14. Place the cake on a Big Rotating Plate.
  15. Fill a Filling Gun with 250mL Lime Curd.
  16. Fill the cake with Lime Curd.
  17. Throw the remaining filling in the gun into a trashcan.
  18. Fill a Frosting/Icing Container with Chocolate Cream Cheese.
  19. Use a Confectionery spatula to place Chocolate Cream Cheese on the top of the cake, not its side.
  20. Throw the 90% remaining Chocolate Cream Cheese into a trashcan, then fill the Frosting/Icing Container with Strawberry Whipped Cream.
  21. Use the Confectionary spatula to place Strawberry Whipped Cream on the side of the cake.
  22. Throw the 90% remaining Strawberry Whipped Cream into a trashcan.
  23. Empty 150mL of Blue Food Dye into the pastry of a Pastry Syringe.
  24. Draw a strange shape on the cake using the Pastry Syringe.

Second Layer​

  1. In a Kneading Bowl, add 1kg of Butter and 300g of Coffee.
  2. Use the Paddle attachment and turn on the Kneading Machine.
  3. Pour the dough into a Medium square cake pan.
  4. Bake for 3 minutes and 50 seconds at 160°C.
  5. Throw the remaining dough into a trashcan.
  6. Take the cake out of the cake pan.
  7. Throw the cake pan into a trashcan.
  8. Place the cake on the floor.
  9. Fill a Filling Gun with 250mL Coconut Cream.
  10. Fill the cake with Coconut Cream.
  11. Throw the remaining filling in the gun into a trashcan.
  12. Fill a Frosting/Icing Container with Caramel.
  13. Use the Confectionary spatula to place Caramel on the top of the cake, not its side.
  14. Throw the 90% remaining Caramel into a trashcan, then fill the Frosting/Icing Container with Chestnut Cream.
  15. Use the Confectionary spatula to place Chestnut Cream on the side of the cake.
  16. Throw the 90% remaining Chestnut Cream into a trashcan.
  17. Draw a strange shape on the cake using the blue-dyed Pastry Syringe.

Third Layer​

  1. In a Kneading Bowl, add 420g Bacon, 1 Egg with its shell (100g) and 200g Pastry Flour.
  2. Use the Paddle attachment and turn on the Kneading Machine.
  3. Pour the dough into a Small heart-shaped cake pan.
  4. Bake for 2 minutes and 30 seconds at 150°C.
  5. Throw the remaining dough into a trashcan.
  6. Take the cake out of the cake pan.
  7. Throw the cake pan into a trashcan.
  8. Place the cake on the floor.
  9. Fill a Filling Gun with 250mL Blueberry Filling.
  10. Fill the cake with Blueberry Filling.
  11. Throw the remaining filling in the gun into a trashcan.
  12. Fill a Frosting/Icing Container with Chocolate Ganache.
  13. Use the Confectionary spatula to place Chocolate Ganache on the top of the cake, not its side.
  14. Throw the 90% remaining Chocolate Ganache into a trashcan, then fill the Frosting/Icing Container with Cookie Dough Frosting.
  15. Use the Confectionary spatula to place Cookie Dough Frosting on the side of the cake.
  16. Throw the 90% remaining Cookie Dough Frosting into a trashcan.
  17. Throw the Frosting/Icing Container and the Confectionary spatula into a trashcan.
  18. Cover the top of the cake with pastry from the blue-dyed Pastry Syringe.
  19. Throw the Pastry Syringe into a trashcan.

Dressing​

  1. Stack the second layer on top of the first layer.
  2. Stack the third layer on top of the second layer.
  3. Fill a Scoop with 120g Jelly Beans.
  4. Drop all the Jelly Beans onto the third layer.
  5. Repeat steps 3 and 4 twice.
  6. Fill a Scoop with 120g Cinnamon powder.
  7. Drop the Cinnamon powder all over the cake.
  8. Repeat steps 6 and 7 until the cake looks like it is very moldy.
  9. Serve the cake.
  10. Throw the Big Rotating Plate into a trashcan.

Churros​

  1. In a Kneading Bowl, pour 500mL White Vinegar and add 200g Butter, 200g Dark Chocolate, 200g White Chocolate, 500g Pastry Flour and 10g Lemon Zest.
  2. Use the Paddle attachment and turn on the Kneading Machine.
  3. Put the dough in a Dough Dispenser with a Churros attachment.
  4. Throw the Kneading Bowl and the Paddle attachment into a trashcan.
  5. Dispense 59 churros into the Deep Fryer.
  6. Throw the dough, the Dough Dispenser and the Churros attachment into a trash can.
  7. Fry the churros until they turn completely black.
  8. Place all the churros on two Cake Trays, or throw them onto the floor.
  9. Fill a Filling Gun with 250mL Chocolate Cream.
  10. Fill each of the churros with Chocolate Cream.
  11. Throw the remaining 250mL Chocolate Cream in the gun, and the Filling Gun itself, into a trashcan.
  12. Serve the churros.
  13. Throw the two Cake Trays into a trashcan.
  14. Throw the trashcan into a trashcan.
 
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Andy Kaufman

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@IlluminatiPirate where is my incel twitter? (Status updates from the index page are gone)
 
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IlluminatiPirate

The Dreaded Pirate of Agora Road
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Andy Kaufman

i know
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Andy Kaufman

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there it is again!
1670248460204.png
 
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LostintheCycle

Formerly His Holelineß
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Most prominent memory of the big bang theory was that it made me think that sex was just kissing naked, and that sperm travelled through your saliva into the girls mouth and she got pregnant. But I wasnt exactly sure how the body could tell if you had clothes on or not, so I assumed it could stuff up now and then, and so for a while I was scared of getting my mother pregnant. A heavy burden for a 9 year old to carry I'll tell ya.
 
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I always had problems with 4chan and the oversimplification of complex and non linear concepts, trying to add wojak to justify something that is really unkown like, other individuals way of thinking, everything depends on a context, and everything has a reason or way why think are like that, everything is a construct, and subject to change, and thinking otherwise, is reducing your status to a dehumanized being.

but following this image, i could say, rn i'm the self improvement with a bit of escapism, workout, and workaholic with alcoholism, i'm the ultimate holic. :tou5:
 
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