[Personal question] convince me to not kms

[chansei_03]

i have another option besides that one? i don't want to bring any heavily emotional topics to this forum, and if you don't like it just don't answer it...

well, i'm poor, unemployed, ugly and i have no guarantee that i'm not going to be starving next month, the situation here in my country gets worse every day that passes, i've never gone to a doctor and stopped caring about my appearance maybe 10 or 8 years ago due to bullying and dysthymia (a specific type of depression that begins at an early age)

i have no mother or a father, i've been raised by my aunt which is alcoholic and also smokes, and now if the things were not bad enough, i have no money to pay the bills in here and the money my aunt has is not too much, i'm glad i could use my neighbor's Internet for now, but i think that probably within 6 or 8 months i'll be homeless (cause i can't pay the rent of this house no more, and the landlord is already forcing us to get out)

just be honest... should i keep going on?

 

[chansei_03]

sorry for being so melancholic, i don't want to bring this sadness to all you people, but this forum is maybe the only way i can express my thoughts...

 

[Junious]

If you are heading for the exit anyways, you may as well try being a homeless drug addict. I personally could see it being pretty fun to lie around on the street getting high all day, enjoying the camaraderie of my fellow street people. The constant adventure of evading the law. The clear and definable goals low on Maslow's pyramid of needs. It would be like a video game, except real life. Find something to eat, get some money, find a place to shit, score some drugs, party like you don't give a fuck (bc you obviously don't at this point), and then try and find some spiced out street lady with no teeth to give you some top. The cost of entry for this lifestyle is 0. Look at all your belongings.... what can you sell? What is the bare minimum you need? Are there any local shelters you could use for the transitional period while you're figuring out what kind of drugs you want to use to numb the pain of existence and for adapting to a life without clear direction? Sell your stuff, gather a meager kit, and head to the nearest urban area to begin a new life as a vagabond. If you end up surviving the experience you will be a person with true grit, character, and self sufficiency and will never have to worry about offending people by whining on a forum again. I think you should at least try living on the street before you hang up your hat. Why not IV some heroin from a shared needle if you're all done anyways? God bless you on your journey friend.

 

[Cobalt]

If you kys then Nikocado Avocado will have outlived you...

 

[Guru Meditation]

"Life is fantastic. I like life, man. Oh my god, people are complaining about it? First of all, you're lucky enough to be alive, when you think about it. Your mother had to have sex with your father. Your grandparents had to have sex. Great-grandparents had to have sex. It's lucky you're alive, my god! And I'm so happy every day that I'm alive, because it's just a fluke! There's so many more people that never got to be alive, you know? And when people talk about it, I'm like, man, it's the greatest gig in the world, being alive. You get to eat at Denny's. Wear a hat. Whatever you want to do!"

 

[morus]

it's always kill myself this kill myself that can't you guys become like mad max marauders or evil supervillains

 

[SomaSpice]

If you've the will to kill yourself why not die for something instead? Should be more fun.

 

[chansei_03]

If you've the will to kill yourself why not die for something instead? Should be more fun.

Im thinking about this... and honestly it would be really fun to kms while doing something crazy

 

[Mеченый Яков]

If you die you won't be able to watch the new marvel movies

 

[Mеченый Яков]

If you've the will to kill yourself why not die for something instead? Should be more fun.

Like joining the army.

 

[Mеченый Яков]

i have another option besides that one? i don't want to bring any heavily emotional topics to this forum, and if you don't like it just don't answer it...

well, i'm poor, unemployed, ugly and i have no guarantee that i'm not going to be starving next month, the situation here in my country gets worse every day that passes, i've never gone to a doctor and stopped caring about my appearance maybe 10 or 8 years ago due to bullying and dysthymia (a specific type of depression that begins at an early age)

i have no mother or a father, i've been raised by my aunt which is alcoholic and also smokes, and now if the things were not bad enough, i have no money to pay the bills in here and the money my aunt has is not too much, i'm glad i could use my neighbor's Internet for now, but i think that probably within 6 or 8 months i'll be homeless (cause i can't pay the rent of this house no more, and the landlord is already forcing us to get out)

just be honest... should i keep going on?

No but seriously, there is always another alternative, if you need the money i can sent you 60 dollars, i was saving it for alcohol and some other things, but you seem to needed more than i do, hey if you have the talent why not monetize your efforts on the internet, art and stuff, or ask for donations, is not much but i think that could at least give a small support.

 

[crendulus]

The War against Death

Restoring traditional family values

eggreport.substack.com

 

[h00]

Man fuck the replies in this thread​

---

People say life's a gift. But often it can feel more like an obligation, or even a burden.
It can feel like a burden you don't want to bear.
A burden you feel like you can't bear.
Wouldn't it be nice if I had no more worries? No more pain, no more burden. I could finally rest.
But the void is not an escape, and it would provide no relief.
There are so many things for you to see. So many experiences you have yet to have. So many places for you to visit. So many emotions you have yet to feel. So many people you have yet to meet.
Don't cast it all away.
Any path of life is more valid. There is nothing more absurd than suicide.


Pack a bag.
Head south.
Leave Brazil.
Travel the road.
See gods splendors.
Have faith.
It'll be alright.


View: https://youtu.be/runen9Flapo


Feel free to PM me if you need $ or just want to talk. I'd like to help.

 

[SomaSpice]

Man fuck the replies in this thread​

I understand your empathy and concern towards OP. I don't know about the rest of the replies, but I meant mine 100% seriously. If you have the will to die, then by looking at the opposite side of the same coin you have the will to live so strongly as to die for something you care about. You can live life unfettered.

Would you like to do art? Then dedicate your entire essence to art, to the point of death, and you can make something earthshatteringly beautiful.

Through these means I think someone can get the sense of purpose they might desire from life, and ironically, come to appreciate it.

You're basically telling him to do the same, y'know? To not give a fuck and do something. I'm just telling him he can do that with a sort of power that few can muster, if his will is true.

 

[ignika98]

If you're already at rock bottom then things can't get any worse for you than they are now. Your life will either stagnate here, or get eventually better. There's no way to really know for sure, but if you kill yourself, you're guaranteeing things will never get better.

 

[Aral]

i have another option besides that one? i don't want to bring any heavily emotional topics to this forum, and if you don't like it just don't answer it...

well, i'm poor, unemployed, ugly and i have no guarantee that i'm not going to be starving next month, the situation here in my country gets worse every day that passes, i've never gone to a doctor and stopped caring about my appearance maybe 10 or 8 years ago due to bullying and dysthymia (a specific type of depression that begins at an early age)

i have no mother or a father, i've been raised by my aunt which is alcoholic and also smokes, and now if the things were not bad enough, i have no money to pay the bills in here and the money my aunt has is not too much, i'm glad i could use my neighbor's Internet for now, but i think that probably within 6 or 8 months i'll be homeless (cause i can't pay the rent of this house no more, and the landlord is already forcing us to get out)

just be honest... should i keep going on?

yes, you should go on.

I don't really have the mental strength to tell you why right now, but you should go on regardless.

 

[Bogdonovich]

There's some art and activities you enjoy when you're in a good mood, right? Hang around, your mood will oscillate, and on the upswing you'll catch some good moments. You don't want to miss that tasty lunch tomorrow.

here is a song that deals with this:

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDP9hye2JBY

 

[morus]

There's some art and activities you enjoy when you're in a good mood, right? Hang around, your mood will oscillate, and on the upswing you'll catch some good moments. You don't want to miss that tasty lunch tomorrow.

dude is going to be literally homeless

 

[Junious]

If you don't want to be homeless, have you considered getting a job? Working as crew on a ship is a good route for the listless and unattached. Hospitals and care homes provide work that makes you feel good about yourself and many times can help you arrange housing because they are so desperate for staff. Being a hospital janitor is a simple, valuable job that pays well and could get you on your feet. You are appreciated, you don't have to talk to anyone or be in the public eye, and there are huge differentials for working at night if you are a night owl. Seasonal work will often provide housing as well, with other young people. Ski resorts are hiring right now up north and in the rockies. Why not work?

 

[Caspar]

i have another option besides that one? i don't want to bring any heavily emotional topics to this forum, and if you don't like it just don't answer it...

well, i'm poor, unemployed, ugly and i have no guarantee that i'm not going to be starving next month, the situation here in my country gets worse every day that passes, i've never gone to a doctor and stopped caring about my appearance maybe 10 or 8 years ago due to bullying and dysthymia (a specific type of depression that begins at an early age)

i have no mother or a father, i've been raised by my aunt which is alcoholic and also smokes, and now if the things were not bad enough, i have no money to pay the bills in here and the money my aunt has is not too much, i'm glad i could use my neighbor's Internet for now, but i think that probably within 6 or 8 months i'll be homeless (cause i can't pay the rent of this house no more, and the landlord is already forcing us to get out)

just be honest... should i keep going on?

The way this opens up reminds me of Doestoyevsky's Underground Man. I'm not particularly fond of this modern 'call for help' genre of attention-seeking. We're random people on the Internet and this parasocial attempt at receiving pity is rather repugnant. If you want to live, get your steel together, cut the garbage, and live. As far as something that reminds me of self-recovery, there is this manga.