Bro you need to escape the botnet. Here use this fly by night VPN service. Its so much better than trusting your ISP. Ewww an FDIC insured bank account? Nah bro you need to use this crypto service for your money, yeah no one knows who created it and if you forget your password your fucked, but its so much better. Twitter still? Nah, you gotta use this obscure alternative thats gonna get hacked a week from now with a 5 year old exploit. Buying from Amazon? Dude here, put your address and payment info on these 20 other smaller web stores.