I have a few I have been collecting from the wild for a while now, I'm pretty sure they were all original comments that I believe have potential. The longer ones have parts that could be cut down.
Since this video has been released to the public, an estimated 20,000 Americans have committed suicide in such brutal fashion, only a couple can be detailed. A 40 year old mother of two cut open her stomach and hung herself with her own intestines. A whole class was shown this video during a psychological exam and at least 38 of 40 children did not make it. The entire school was then swallowed by a wormhole that formed underneath the school. Everybody in that building died. Animals have begun murdering each other in vicious ways, the stock market is plummeting, and Barbie dolls have been recalled from every store in America, due to it's terrible reputation considering every time you look at a barbie, you will imagine it having horrible diarrhea. The creator behind this video has been arrested and sentenced to 300 years in jail due to their crimes against humanity.
----------------
so here it goes, my house is bugged, phones tapped, computer tracked, strange texts, wierd emails, helicopters, strange cars, footprints outside, repeating images, wierd dreams, people acting strange, lots of people appearing and disapearring, minute changes, disembodied voices, time travel, mandela effect, objects appearing and disapearing, locations changing rapidly (new buildings put up real fast and disapearring far too quickly to be normal, or old buildings that you've never noticed before, as if they maybe just appeared),
think of demons like tiny little monsters / little creatures, tons of them, they're independently willed and they exist on the same plane as us in a different dimension, they follow us around, theyre basically little animals or people, everyone has a small gang of monsters following them around constantly, that will use a persons energy field as a home and a source of nourishment (the feed off human energy which is probably the only source of (sustinence?)in the metaphysical realm, I theorize it could also be addictive), they can transfer between people to influence another , but tend to stick with their host i,e always come back (hence the addictive hypothesis, [i.e. they'll always return to the host if they fail to obtain a host with a superior benefit/high] they're literally just like little incomphrensible creatures, i couldnt describe them, every shape imaginable, i saw 3 little ones on my desk, they were humanoid esque, maybe more akin to what you might imagine multiple humanoids fused together in an accident might look like, there was a football sized one under my desk up against the wall, it appeared sickly, but maybe thats just what it looked like, looked sort of like a human stomach with one big lifeless eye in the middle, it kind of looked like it was breathing heavily or having a hard time, sort of struggling to find a comfortable way to stand/sit/lean, i have a facehugger, similar to the creatrures from half life, if I focus I can see him scuttling his legs on my face , obscuring what would be my entire vision if he was fully visible, it looks exactly like the bottom of a horseshoe crab, and I'm pretty sure it just lives on my face, who knows how long its been there, or how long it will be. I know there were others too, Its just incredibly hard to focus on them, I know I have a flying one but I haven't been able to pin him down, he moves around far too much, (I theorize it is probably the same demon I saw during my sleep paralysis based on the movements I observed during that experience, it is the closest thing in resemblance to the one I see in my room ocassionally, albiet nowhere near as powerful). I constantly see fliers at night in the world, most people disregard such blurred shadows as bats, but I've seen tons of bats, and it's always very clearly nothing more than a whisp of black energy moving at uncomprehnsible speed, not a bat. There was on sitting on my keyboard as though it takes comfort in my touch, even though we are not physically connecting, maybe its lonely and doesn't get along with the other monsters, I'm not sure, I feel a sort of empathy for it now thinking about it, especially given his grotesque appearence which was about the size of a circus peanuit and looked like someone squished together equal parts hair and wet bubble gum.
If you find yourself peering into another realm for the first time you need to stay calm, open minded, and logical, take it slow, focus. Focus is the key to everything. It takes tremendous focus to venture a peek into the beyond. Abstinence is a surefire tool for increasing mental fortitude and focus, especially in regards to the metaphyiscal and supernatural, there is undeniable power surrounding the topic that I implore you to inquire for yourself. When I focus into something, I'm only tapping in and seeing clearly for seconds at a time and it's absolutely exhausting, I'm guessing it takes a considerable amount of mental training, theres no way to know really, but I've explored the realm of hidden brainpower for my entire life so I assume that helped (lucid dreaming, cloudbursting, telekenesis [never quite figured out telekenisis lol but I 100% achieved moderate success in the other two], one time me and 5 friends were sitting down at one of our usual spots on some steps on a path where we would smoke/chill, and I was explaining cloudbursting to them [at the time being completely convinced that I was actually dispersing the clouds with my mind and at some points using my mind to turn a cloud that was shaped similarly to something to make it more closely resemble that thing. Basically using your mind to draw with the clouds. We saw a cloud shaped kinda like a gun, and one of us said nah thats a dick boys, and I took the oppurtunity to test a cloudbusting theory, I said something along the lines of "ok then lets try it, everyone stare as hard as you can and focus on that cloud and together with our brainpower we can turn it into a dick shaped cloud" and of course the boys were down, and over the course of maybe 45 seconds we stood there in extreme focus that turned into laughter, excitement, and disbelief when that cloud rather quickly changed from a gun shape into a perfectly shaped, undeniably phallic, balls and all glorious dick shaped cloud. It was a magical moment and I can say for certain none of them will ever forget it either, how could you?)
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It is the year 2072. The 144th Oscars are underway. The host, for the 29th year in a row, is an advanced AI designed to mimic the comedic style of the long-dead Ricky Gervais.
Viewership of the event is increased by multiple very real and totally unplanned fistfights on the red carpet, along with a drive-by shooting. The shooters only fired blanks, but 98 year old Christian Bale, ever the method actor, shot himself through the heart for the sake of realism. He received a standing ovation for his performance, and will likely be given a posthumous award.
The ceremony gets underway. To ensure public engagement, only the most bombastic and expensive blockbusters are eligible for consideration. Best Picture goes to Spiderman: The Rise of Big Wheel. Director Tom Holland collects the award wearing his old Spiderman costume. He also collects the award for Best Actor, for the performance of his younger CGI duplicate as the titular hero.
Suddenly, the wall behind Holland explodes. Willem Dafoe emerges from the smoke, wearing rags and a crude replica of the Green Goblin mask. Security is baffled. They had been on the lookout for him, but he was able to blend in flawlessly in the tent city of homeless people surrounding the venue.
Dafoe launches into a deranged monologue, lamenting his rebirth as a clone at the behest of the House of Mouse, as well as his role in further exploiting Gen Z's childhood nostalgia to revitalize the Spiderman franchise. He demands Disney compensate him for his appearance in The Rise of Big Wheel, and grant greater rights and recognition to all duplicate actors (the 2054 Supreme Court ruling on Duplicate Actors' Guild v. Disney allowed studios to utilize cloned and android actors without awarding them the compensation the originals would have been entitled to).
A Disney Intellectual Property Protection Unit storms the theater to recapture the clone. Dafoe throws a crude pipe bomb into the audience as a distraction. 45 people are killed. The audience is uncertain if this intrusion is scripted or not. Nevertheless, Dafoe receives a standing ovation as he flees into the night.
As the bodies are being cleaned up, the Gervais AI lightens the mood by pointing out all the known pedophiles in the crowd. They laugh, knowing they are above the law.
With many nominees injured or killed in the blast, some of the awards are skipped outright. The next award given is for Best Animated Feature.
The nominees are:
-Minions: Ukrainian Vacation
-A Pixar movie about Banana Slugs
-A Studio Ghibli film so beautiful and emotionally powerful that it caused a 30% decrease in the prevalence of depression and PTSD among those who viewed it.
The winner is announced: Banana Slugs!
As the crowd applauds, the lead animator for Studio Ghibli walks to the front of the theater, kneels, and disembowels himself with a katana. The Gervais AI cracks a joke about pouring your heart into your work. He receives a standing ovation.
--------------
Your a fkn weirdo never backed down to mo cnt that would be hard not married smart ass you need to get a grip if yo bumped in2 me you would probably let your bowls go. Fkn weirdo n you fuck animals in farms fkn pussy ass fuckerwaist ove energy Rolling on the floor laughingRolling on the floor laughingRolling on the floor laughingFace with tears of joyFace with tears of joyFace with tears of joyjoke
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Jesus was Beaten, spit on, bruised, Punched, Kicked, laughed at, And Sooo Much More, Finally He was Nailed to the cross and about 6 hours of Just hanging there He Finally died. Jesus was put to an "Open shame" all so that we could be forgiven of our sins! All so that we wouldn't Perish! But Wait ✋.... The story is not Over Yet!.... Three days later,,, HE ROSE AGAIN!!! And Now that Jesus Christ is (Risen) we can also live through Him! The Bible says In (Romans 10:9) If you confess with your mouth that Jesus Is Lord, and Believe in your Heart that God raised him from the dead, You Shall be Saved! ✝️ Jesus Christ Can Save You Soul from Hell! Please Repent of your sins, and Follow Jesus Christ! He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life! John 14:6✝️
--------------
Eventually, I got tired of trolling People. When you troll a person, their reaction is always the same. Shock, confusion, humiliation, I began to grow... Tired of it. Tired of the predictability of it all. Derpina, I was singing the same Trolololol and dance for SO long, I no longer got the same high from trolling the humans around me. I realized then... I could go higher. Why stop at people? I began to troll cities. Technology. Nature. I was insatiable. The rush you feel when you troll something they said was unshakeable. Well, Challenge Accepted. And it's all culminated in this. I can finally troll the very laws of physics themselves. Gravity... ConTrolled! THIS is what I was after, Derpina! The ultimate epic win! No one... no THING is safe from my trolling anymore. Tell God... Le epic Trollge has arrived. Problem?
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I have 3 sons. Two of them get straight A's in school and one gets B's and C's. I was kinda worried about him being able to find his way in the world but after watching this video I'm realizing the level of academic competition has dropped considerably since I was in school and my kids are literally killing the game now that I'm really getting in-touch with where our youth is at. Love this channel! Chanel 5 has the best interviews!
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My grandmother had a stroke in 2008, after which she had a complete personality change, and she became obsessed with Little Man. We don't even know how she got her hands on the dvd, but every time we'd go to visit her she'd insist we watched it. That's true. God rest her soul.
-------------
Heres Why Dogs Are Now Hatching From Eggs
You may have noticed that for the past several months dogs have been hatching from eggs. Heres what scientists have to say about why its happening.
"They just like it better," says Professor Jacob Gimbal. "Dogs find being in an egg more comforting and safer than live birth. As a result, we've started to see more and more dogs hatching from eggs." Professor Gimbal is the Stan Gristle Professor of Dog Science at MIT's biology department, where he studies dog behavior. Recently, he has published several articles dealing with dogs hatching from eggs, arguing that dogs simply prefer to hatch from eggs than to be born in typical mammalian fashion. But not all scientists agree with him. Dr. Fuschia Mustardseed, Supreme Executive of the National Dog Science Council, strongly opposes Gimbal's position. "Dogs don't hatch from eggs because they like it," Dr. Mustardseed told the Saturday Morning Panopticon. "These dogs didn't decide to be in eggs. It's against their will." When we asked what caused them to hatch from eggs, she said the following: "There is poison in the water and in the air. These dogs are hatching from eggs to protect themselves the poison in their environment that would harm them as they gestate." Dr. Mustardseed has lead several major NDSC studies of dogs hatching from eggs, the results of which she says strongly support her hypothesis. According to Professor Gimbal and his colleagues, however, there are major problems with Dr. Mustardseed's research. "The NDSC's studies do show lower poison levels in dogs that hatch from eggs, but studies of the eggshells themselves demonstrate that they are permeable to poison to a degree that suggests that the lower poison levels in NDSC studies have other causes." According to Professor Gimbal's research team, the most likely cause is that the lab did not adequately simulate environmental poison sources. "The poison isn't just in the water and air. Poison can be carried by worms, dust, food, and even humans, which were not accounted for in these studies." Professor Gimbal maintains that in the absence of good reason to think the eggs confer an advantage for the dogs, they most likely are hatching from eggs simply because they like it better. "Sometimes, the correct explanation is deceptively simple, and I think that's the case here. These dogs like to be in eggs. I think that's the bottom of it." Recent psychological studies done at the University of Shambleham have also pointed in this direction, showing that dogs prefer to be in egglike environments. But Rick Girbil Hackathack, an independent dog scientist in Utah, thinks people might be drawing conclusions too quickly. "The machinations of the inner mind of nature, and especially of dogs, are not something we can fathom. Why are these dogs hatching from eggs? That's not a question we can answer yet. The great questions of the world aren't answered in a few months. We dwell in a mire of mystery and confusion that does not admit easy solutions. The answer isn't to draw hasty conclusions from incomplete, short-term data. We need long-term observation and study and deep contemplation to penetrate into the murky depths of truth. And I just don't feel like we've got that yet." He added, "Look into the eyes of a dog and tell me you can see its soul. Tell me that dog likes to be in eggs. Tell me it doesn't like the poison. You don't know that. None of us know that, and none of us can." Although dogs began hatching from eggs several months ago, it looks like we still don't have a clear answer about what's happening. But with so many expert scientists working on the problem, it's only a matter of time until it's solved, says Harvard's Professor Jane Cataphract. "No matter how long it takes we should be confident that these mysteries will be solved, that some day we will know why dogs are hatching from eggs and whether this is a good thing or a bad thing for dogs and for humans." Professor Cataphract says that it's even possible that understanding why dogs are hatching from eggs could open new frontiers of biological research and technology. "Imagine if you or your child could someday hatch from an egg. This could have major implications for human health and for society. But in the end it's a problem that dog science has yet to fully grapple with, and it will take time before it bears fruit."
THADDEUS GRUMMIT is the Saturday Morning Panopticon's chief dog science correspondent and has a master's degree in dog science from the Polytechnic Institute of Mulch. He has written over seventy articles and books on dog science and appeared in four dog science documentaries. He owns seven dogs, two of which hatched from eggs.
Since this video has been released to the public, an estimated 20,000 Americans have committed suicide in such brutal fashion, only a couple can be detailed. A 40 year old mother of two cut open her stomach and hung herself with her own intestines. A whole class was shown this video during a psychological exam and at least 38 of 40 children did not make it. The entire school was then swallowed by a wormhole that formed underneath the school. Everybody in that building died. Animals have begun murdering each other in vicious ways, the stock market is plummeting, and Barbie dolls have been recalled from every store in America, due to it's terrible reputation considering every time you look at a barbie, you will imagine it having horrible diarrhea. The creator behind this video has been arrested and sentenced to 300 years in jail due to their crimes against humanity.
----------------
so here it goes, my house is bugged, phones tapped, computer tracked, strange texts, wierd emails, helicopters, strange cars, footprints outside, repeating images, wierd dreams, people acting strange, lots of people appearing and disapearring, minute changes, disembodied voices, time travel, mandela effect, objects appearing and disapearing, locations changing rapidly (new buildings put up real fast and disapearring far too quickly to be normal, or old buildings that you've never noticed before, as if they maybe just appeared),
think of demons like tiny little monsters / little creatures, tons of them, they're independently willed and they exist on the same plane as us in a different dimension, they follow us around, theyre basically little animals or people, everyone has a small gang of monsters following them around constantly, that will use a persons energy field as a home and a source of nourishment (the feed off human energy which is probably the only source of (sustinence?)in the metaphysical realm, I theorize it could also be addictive), they can transfer between people to influence another , but tend to stick with their host i,e always come back (hence the addictive hypothesis, [i.e. they'll always return to the host if they fail to obtain a host with a superior benefit/high] they're literally just like little incomphrensible creatures, i couldnt describe them, every shape imaginable, i saw 3 little ones on my desk, they were humanoid esque, maybe more akin to what you might imagine multiple humanoids fused together in an accident might look like, there was a football sized one under my desk up against the wall, it appeared sickly, but maybe thats just what it looked like, looked sort of like a human stomach with one big lifeless eye in the middle, it kind of looked like it was breathing heavily or having a hard time, sort of struggling to find a comfortable way to stand/sit/lean, i have a facehugger, similar to the creatrures from half life, if I focus I can see him scuttling his legs on my face , obscuring what would be my entire vision if he was fully visible, it looks exactly like the bottom of a horseshoe crab, and I'm pretty sure it just lives on my face, who knows how long its been there, or how long it will be. I know there were others too, Its just incredibly hard to focus on them, I know I have a flying one but I haven't been able to pin him down, he moves around far too much, (I theorize it is probably the same demon I saw during my sleep paralysis based on the movements I observed during that experience, it is the closest thing in resemblance to the one I see in my room ocassionally, albiet nowhere near as powerful). I constantly see fliers at night in the world, most people disregard such blurred shadows as bats, but I've seen tons of bats, and it's always very clearly nothing more than a whisp of black energy moving at uncomprehnsible speed, not a bat. There was on sitting on my keyboard as though it takes comfort in my touch, even though we are not physically connecting, maybe its lonely and doesn't get along with the other monsters, I'm not sure, I feel a sort of empathy for it now thinking about it, especially given his grotesque appearence which was about the size of a circus peanuit and looked like someone squished together equal parts hair and wet bubble gum.
If you find yourself peering into another realm for the first time you need to stay calm, open minded, and logical, take it slow, focus. Focus is the key to everything. It takes tremendous focus to venture a peek into the beyond. Abstinence is a surefire tool for increasing mental fortitude and focus, especially in regards to the metaphyiscal and supernatural, there is undeniable power surrounding the topic that I implore you to inquire for yourself. When I focus into something, I'm only tapping in and seeing clearly for seconds at a time and it's absolutely exhausting, I'm guessing it takes a considerable amount of mental training, theres no way to know really, but I've explored the realm of hidden brainpower for my entire life so I assume that helped (lucid dreaming, cloudbursting, telekenesis [never quite figured out telekenisis lol but I 100% achieved moderate success in the other two], one time me and 5 friends were sitting down at one of our usual spots on some steps on a path where we would smoke/chill, and I was explaining cloudbursting to them [at the time being completely convinced that I was actually dispersing the clouds with my mind and at some points using my mind to turn a cloud that was shaped similarly to something to make it more closely resemble that thing. Basically using your mind to draw with the clouds. We saw a cloud shaped kinda like a gun, and one of us said nah thats a dick boys, and I took the oppurtunity to test a cloudbusting theory, I said something along the lines of "ok then lets try it, everyone stare as hard as you can and focus on that cloud and together with our brainpower we can turn it into a dick shaped cloud" and of course the boys were down, and over the course of maybe 45 seconds we stood there in extreme focus that turned into laughter, excitement, and disbelief when that cloud rather quickly changed from a gun shape into a perfectly shaped, undeniably phallic, balls and all glorious dick shaped cloud. It was a magical moment and I can say for certain none of them will ever forget it either, how could you?)
--------------
It is the year 2072. The 144th Oscars are underway. The host, for the 29th year in a row, is an advanced AI designed to mimic the comedic style of the long-dead Ricky Gervais.
Viewership of the event is increased by multiple very real and totally unplanned fistfights on the red carpet, along with a drive-by shooting. The shooters only fired blanks, but 98 year old Christian Bale, ever the method actor, shot himself through the heart for the sake of realism. He received a standing ovation for his performance, and will likely be given a posthumous award.
The ceremony gets underway. To ensure public engagement, only the most bombastic and expensive blockbusters are eligible for consideration. Best Picture goes to Spiderman: The Rise of Big Wheel. Director Tom Holland collects the award wearing his old Spiderman costume. He also collects the award for Best Actor, for the performance of his younger CGI duplicate as the titular hero.
Suddenly, the wall behind Holland explodes. Willem Dafoe emerges from the smoke, wearing rags and a crude replica of the Green Goblin mask. Security is baffled. They had been on the lookout for him, but he was able to blend in flawlessly in the tent city of homeless people surrounding the venue.
Dafoe launches into a deranged monologue, lamenting his rebirth as a clone at the behest of the House of Mouse, as well as his role in further exploiting Gen Z's childhood nostalgia to revitalize the Spiderman franchise. He demands Disney compensate him for his appearance in The Rise of Big Wheel, and grant greater rights and recognition to all duplicate actors (the 2054 Supreme Court ruling on Duplicate Actors' Guild v. Disney allowed studios to utilize cloned and android actors without awarding them the compensation the originals would have been entitled to).
A Disney Intellectual Property Protection Unit storms the theater to recapture the clone. Dafoe throws a crude pipe bomb into the audience as a distraction. 45 people are killed. The audience is uncertain if this intrusion is scripted or not. Nevertheless, Dafoe receives a standing ovation as he flees into the night.
As the bodies are being cleaned up, the Gervais AI lightens the mood by pointing out all the known pedophiles in the crowd. They laugh, knowing they are above the law.
With many nominees injured or killed in the blast, some of the awards are skipped outright. The next award given is for Best Animated Feature.
The nominees are:
-Minions: Ukrainian Vacation
-A Pixar movie about Banana Slugs
-A Studio Ghibli film so beautiful and emotionally powerful that it caused a 30% decrease in the prevalence of depression and PTSD among those who viewed it.
The winner is announced: Banana Slugs!
As the crowd applauds, the lead animator for Studio Ghibli walks to the front of the theater, kneels, and disembowels himself with a katana. The Gervais AI cracks a joke about pouring your heart into your work. He receives a standing ovation.
--------------
Your a fkn weirdo never backed down to mo cnt that would be hard not married smart ass you need to get a grip if yo bumped in2 me you would probably let your bowls go. Fkn weirdo n you fuck animals in farms fkn pussy ass fuckerwaist ove energy Rolling on the floor laughingRolling on the floor laughingRolling on the floor laughingFace with tears of joyFace with tears of joyFace with tears of joyjoke
--------------
Jesus was Beaten, spit on, bruised, Punched, Kicked, laughed at, And Sooo Much More, Finally He was Nailed to the cross and about 6 hours of Just hanging there He Finally died. Jesus was put to an "Open shame" all so that we could be forgiven of our sins! All so that we wouldn't Perish! But Wait ✋.... The story is not Over Yet!.... Three days later,,, HE ROSE AGAIN!!! And Now that Jesus Christ is (Risen) we can also live through Him! The Bible says In (Romans 10:9) If you confess with your mouth that Jesus Is Lord, and Believe in your Heart that God raised him from the dead, You Shall be Saved! ✝️ Jesus Christ Can Save You Soul from Hell! Please Repent of your sins, and Follow Jesus Christ! He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life! John 14:6✝️
--------------
Eventually, I got tired of trolling People. When you troll a person, their reaction is always the same. Shock, confusion, humiliation, I began to grow... Tired of it. Tired of the predictability of it all. Derpina, I was singing the same Trolololol and dance for SO long, I no longer got the same high from trolling the humans around me. I realized then... I could go higher. Why stop at people? I began to troll cities. Technology. Nature. I was insatiable. The rush you feel when you troll something they said was unshakeable. Well, Challenge Accepted. And it's all culminated in this. I can finally troll the very laws of physics themselves. Gravity... ConTrolled! THIS is what I was after, Derpina! The ultimate epic win! No one... no THING is safe from my trolling anymore. Tell God... Le epic Trollge has arrived. Problem?
-------------
I have 3 sons. Two of them get straight A's in school and one gets B's and C's. I was kinda worried about him being able to find his way in the world but after watching this video I'm realizing the level of academic competition has dropped considerably since I was in school and my kids are literally killing the game now that I'm really getting in-touch with where our youth is at. Love this channel! Chanel 5 has the best interviews!
-------------
My grandmother had a stroke in 2008, after which she had a complete personality change, and she became obsessed with Little Man. We don't even know how she got her hands on the dvd, but every time we'd go to visit her she'd insist we watched it. That's true. God rest her soul.
-------------
Heres Why Dogs Are Now Hatching From Eggs
You may have noticed that for the past several months dogs have been hatching from eggs. Heres what scientists have to say about why its happening.
"They just like it better," says Professor Jacob Gimbal. "Dogs find being in an egg more comforting and safer than live birth. As a result, we've started to see more and more dogs hatching from eggs." Professor Gimbal is the Stan Gristle Professor of Dog Science at MIT's biology department, where he studies dog behavior. Recently, he has published several articles dealing with dogs hatching from eggs, arguing that dogs simply prefer to hatch from eggs than to be born in typical mammalian fashion. But not all scientists agree with him. Dr. Fuschia Mustardseed, Supreme Executive of the National Dog Science Council, strongly opposes Gimbal's position. "Dogs don't hatch from eggs because they like it," Dr. Mustardseed told the Saturday Morning Panopticon. "These dogs didn't decide to be in eggs. It's against their will." When we asked what caused them to hatch from eggs, she said the following: "There is poison in the water and in the air. These dogs are hatching from eggs to protect themselves the poison in their environment that would harm them as they gestate." Dr. Mustardseed has lead several major NDSC studies of dogs hatching from eggs, the results of which she says strongly support her hypothesis. According to Professor Gimbal and his colleagues, however, there are major problems with Dr. Mustardseed's research. "The NDSC's studies do show lower poison levels in dogs that hatch from eggs, but studies of the eggshells themselves demonstrate that they are permeable to poison to a degree that suggests that the lower poison levels in NDSC studies have other causes." According to Professor Gimbal's research team, the most likely cause is that the lab did not adequately simulate environmental poison sources. "The poison isn't just in the water and air. Poison can be carried by worms, dust, food, and even humans, which were not accounted for in these studies." Professor Gimbal maintains that in the absence of good reason to think the eggs confer an advantage for the dogs, they most likely are hatching from eggs simply because they like it better. "Sometimes, the correct explanation is deceptively simple, and I think that's the case here. These dogs like to be in eggs. I think that's the bottom of it." Recent psychological studies done at the University of Shambleham have also pointed in this direction, showing that dogs prefer to be in egglike environments. But Rick Girbil Hackathack, an independent dog scientist in Utah, thinks people might be drawing conclusions too quickly. "The machinations of the inner mind of nature, and especially of dogs, are not something we can fathom. Why are these dogs hatching from eggs? That's not a question we can answer yet. The great questions of the world aren't answered in a few months. We dwell in a mire of mystery and confusion that does not admit easy solutions. The answer isn't to draw hasty conclusions from incomplete, short-term data. We need long-term observation and study and deep contemplation to penetrate into the murky depths of truth. And I just don't feel like we've got that yet." He added, "Look into the eyes of a dog and tell me you can see its soul. Tell me that dog likes to be in eggs. Tell me it doesn't like the poison. You don't know that. None of us know that, and none of us can." Although dogs began hatching from eggs several months ago, it looks like we still don't have a clear answer about what's happening. But with so many expert scientists working on the problem, it's only a matter of time until it's solved, says Harvard's Professor Jane Cataphract. "No matter how long it takes we should be confident that these mysteries will be solved, that some day we will know why dogs are hatching from eggs and whether this is a good thing or a bad thing for dogs and for humans." Professor Cataphract says that it's even possible that understanding why dogs are hatching from eggs could open new frontiers of biological research and technology. "Imagine if you or your child could someday hatch from an egg. This could have major implications for human health and for society. But in the end it's a problem that dog science has yet to fully grapple with, and it will take time before it bears fruit."
THADDEUS GRUMMIT is the Saturday Morning Panopticon's chief dog science correspondent and has a master's degree in dog science from the Polytechnic Institute of Mulch. He has written over seventy articles and books on dog science and appeared in four dog science documentaries. He owns seven dogs, two of which hatched from eggs.
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Virtual Cafe Awards
, this is memes, this is >reddit
