A list of my favorite Copypastas

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I always found hilarious how cancerous copypastas can be, so here is a small list of my favorite copypastas, if you want to add any other copypasta feel free to do it.
˙ʇı ןןɐɔ noʎ ɹǝʌǝʇɐɥʍ ɹo ,ɐʇǝq, pǝɹǝpısuoɔ buıǝq ɟo ʞɔıs ɯ,ı ˙ʇı ʇnoqɐ ʎɹɔ oʇ ǝɯ oʇ ʞןɐʇ ʎןuo puɐ 'ʇıɥs ǝʞıן ɯǝɥʇ ʇɐǝɹʇ oɥʍ sʎnb bɐqǝɥɔnop ɹǝʇɟɐ ob sʎɐʍןɐ sןɹıb ǝsǝɥʇ puǝ ǝɥʇ uı ˙ʎpɐן,ɯ ɹoɟ buıɥʇʎuɐ op pןnoʍ puɐ 'qoظ ǝɔıu ɐ ʞɹoʍ 'ʎnb ǝɔıu ɐ ɯ,ı ˙ǝuoz puǝıɹɟ ǝɥʇ uı ʇnd buıǝq sʎɐʍןɐ ı ɯɐ ʎɥʍ

That's it, I'm done. Fuck this chat. It's devolved into a mass of retarded copy pastes and face spam. The quality of twitch chat has been declining for a while, but this is the last straw. That's it. I'm done. I'm uninstalling the internet, chopping off my dick and moving to fucking Antarctica, at least the bacteria there will be fucking smarter discourse

ʜᴇʟʟᴏ ᴄʜᴀᴛ ɪ ᴀᴍ ғᴀᴍᴏᴜs ғᴀsᴄɪsᴛ ʟᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ, ᴀᴅᴏʟғ ʜɪᴛʟᴇʀɪɴᴏ. ᴡᴇ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴀᴢɪ ᴍᴏᴅs ᴛᴏ ᴘᴀʀᴛɪᴄɪᴘᴀᴛᴇ ɪɴ ᴏᴜʀ ɴᴇᴡ ᴘʀᴏᴘᴀɢᴀɴᴅᴀ ғɪʟᴍ "sɪᴇɢ ʜᴇɪʟ ʟɪғᴇsᴛʏʟᴇ" ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʀᴀɪsᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀs ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴀᴢɪ ᴍᴏᴅs sᴀʏ ɴᴏ ᴘᴀsᴛᴇʀɪɴᴏ ᴀɴᴅ ʙᴀɴʜᴀᴍᴍᴇʀ.

What in Davy Jones' locker did ye just bark at me, ye scurvy bilgerat? I'll have ye know I be the meanest cutthroat on the seven seas, and I've led numerous raids on fishing villages, and raped over 300 wenches. I be trained in hit-and-run pillaging and be the deadliest with a pistol of all the captains on the high seas. Ye be nothing to me but another source o' swag. I'll have yer guts for garters and keel haul ye like never been done before, hear me true. You think ye can hide behind your newfangled computing device? Think twice on that, scallywag. As we parley I be contacting my secret network o' pirates across the sea and yer port is being tracked right now so ye better prepare for the typhoon, weevil. The kind o' monsoon that'll wipe ye off the map. You're sharkbait, fool. I can sail anywhere, in any waters, and can kill ye in o'er seven hundred ways, and that be just with me hook and fist. Not only do I be top o' the line with a cutlass, but I have an entire pirate fleet at my beck and call and I'll damned sure use it all to wipe yer arse off o' the world, ye dog. If only ye had had the foresight to know what devilish wrath your jibe was about to incur, ye might have belayed the comment. But ye couldn't, ye didn't, and now ye'll pay the ultimate toll, you buffoon. I'll shit fury all over ye and ye'll drown in the depths o' it. You're fish food now, lad.

The world "SUS" needs to be erradicated from the dictionary I don't think I need to explain more. Even when used ironically I want to die. If anyone near me uses that word the first thing I'll want to do is take them to the top floor of a nice hotel and throw them out of the window

I HAVE AN [Announcement].SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG IS A [Little Sponge]. HE PISSED ON MY FUCKING [Kromer]. [That's Right!] HE TOOK HIS FUCKING QUILLY [Dick] OUT AND HE SAID THAT HIS [Dick] IS A [Big Shot] AND I SAID THATS [Disgusting]. SO IM MAKING A [Post] ON MY [Salesman1997.com]. SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG, YOU GOT A SMALL [Dick]. ITS THE SIZE OF THESE [Strings] EXCEPT WAY [Smaller]. AND GUESS WHAT, HERES WHAT MY [Dong] LOOKS LIKE.Deltarune Explosion sound effect [That's Right!] ALL [Points] NO [Quills] NO [Pillows]. HE FUCKED MY [Kromer] SO GUESS WHAT IM GONNA FUCK THE [City].[That's Right!] THIS IS WHAT YOU GET MY SUPER LASER [Big Shot] EXCEPT IM NOT GONNA FUCK THE [City] IM GONNA GO [Higher!]. IM PISSING ON THE [Palace]. HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT [Queen] I PISSED ON THE [Palace] YOU [Little Sponge]!YOU HAVE [4.99] HOURS BEFORE I FUCK THE WHOLE [Cyber World]. SO GET OUT OF MY FUCKING [Sight] BEFORE I SHOOT AT YOU TOO.

feel like whenever I pay a visit Rule34 or other hentai website, I often found my waifu got Impregnated by some stranger guy that I don't know. Some of them are in the show too...I feel like Ive been cucked by and that make me feel bad, anger and cuckolded. How to deal with these?

BOO!! Sorry did I scare you?! WASSUP GURLITS COCKTOBER AND IF YOU ARE GETTING THISIT MEANS UR A HALLOWEENHOE every year in Cocktober the jack o slut comes to lifecoming to harvest his hoes for THOT-O-WEEN send this to 10 other Halloween Hoes or else you a TRICK IF YOU GET 4 BACK UR A THOT-O-WEEN TREAT IF U GET 6 BACK UR A SLUTTY WITCH BITCH✨ BUT IF YOU GET 10 BACK UR THE SPOOKIEST SLUT ON THE BLOCK⚰️ If you don't send this to 1️⃣0️⃣other thots you will get NO DICK this COCKTOBER

So the other day, I was playing rainbow six siege, and I heard one of my teammates make a callout in the voice chat. It was a real life gamer girl. God, I kid you not, I just stopped playing and pulled my dick out. "fuck, Fuck!" I was yelling in voice chat. I just wanted to hear her voice again. "Please," I moaned. But she left the lobby. I was crying and covered in my own cum, but I remembered that I could find recent teammates in the ubiplay friends tab. I frantically closed down siege and opened the tab, to find out she had TTV IN HER NAME!!! She was streaming, and only had 100 viewers!!! The competition was low, so I made the first move and donated my months rent to her. I was already about to pre. She read my donation in the chat. God this is the happiest I've been in a long time. I did a little research, and found out where she goes to school, but I am a little nervous to talk to her in person, and need support. Any advice before my Uber gets to her middle school?

"Based"? Are you fucking kidding me? I spent a decent portion of my life writing all of that and your response to me is "Based"? Are you so mentally handicapped that the only word you can comprehend is "Based" - or are you just some fucking asshole who thinks that with such a short response, he can make a statement about how meaningless what was written was? Well, I'll have you know that what I wrote was NOT meaningless, in fact, I even had my written work proof-read by several professors of literature. Don't believe me? I doubt you would, and your response to this will probably be "Based" once again. Do I give a fuck? No, does it look like I give even the slightest fuck about five fucking letters? I bet you took the time to type those five letters too, I bet you sat there and chuckled to yourself for 20 hearty seconds before pressing "send". You're so fucking pathetic. I'm honestly considering directing you to a psychiatrist, but I'm simply far too nice to do something like that. You, however, will go out of your way to make a fool out of someone by responding to a well-thought-out, intelligent, or humorous statement that probably took longer to write than you can last in bed with a chimpanzee. What do I have to say to you? Absolutely nothing. I couldn't be bothered to respond to such a worthless attempt at a response. Do you want "Based" on your gravestone?

I saw exactly 1.09441 square inches of a girls shoulder today, I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine signaling my impending, earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen EVERYONE in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever had, or ever will produce shot out SO HARD that my dick was ripped apart by my Übernut, accelerating to 5% of the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, it barely slowed before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear powered angle grinder. the sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of illinois became pregnant with my children.

well be the captains of b8 4chan our first m8s the growth r8 will spread to >redditcostanzayeahrightsmirk and like reel est8 and be a flow r8 of gr8 b8 like a blind d8 well coll8 meet me upst8 where we can convers8 or ice sk8 or lose w8 infl8 our hot air baloons and fly tail g8. we cood land in kuw8, eat a soup pl8 followed by a dessert pl8 the payment r8 wont be too ir8 and hopefully our currency wont defl8. well head to the israeli-St8, taker over like herod the gr8 and b8 the jewish masses 8 million m8. we could interrel8 communism thought it's past it's maturity d8, a department of st8 volunteer st8. reduce the infant mortality r8, all in the name of making gr8 b8 m8 (Submitted by @IlluminatiPirate)


"touch grass" is not an insult towards gamers, rather it is advice for them. When participating in intense periods of gaming, the human hand has a tendency to get sweaty. The sweat causes the hand to become slick, and it b becomes more difficult to retain a grip on the gamers gaming mouse, thus making it more difficult to perform well in intense gaming moments. By touching grass with the gamers hand, the grass will impart a layer of particulate onto the gamers hand, the particulate can be made of a variety of dusts, dirts and other natural matter. This particulate will then act in a similar form to climbers chalk, absorbing the sweat and drying out the gamers hand. With dry hands, the gamer can now perform to their maximum when gaming. This is why when an enemy or teammate tells you to touch grass, they are simply trying to assist you in performing better.

Alvin from "Alvin and the Chipmunks" is not a chipmunk. This is proven by the name "Alvin and the Chipmunks", as you can see, Alvin is separated from the chipmunks, suggesting that Alvin is an entirely different species, making him an "imposter" amongst the others. Also, in "The Chipettes", Brittney has the strongest resemblance to Alvin, so why is it not called "Brittney and the Chipettes". So all that proves that Alvin is not a chipmunk. Not to mention that Alvin wears red, and I'm not sure about you, but that seems awfully sus to me. In the video game "Among us", the color red is was the birth of the obnoxious catchphrase, "red sus", being that the color red in the game is a stereotype that they are the imposter. While that might be unrelated, keep in mind that Alvin wears red too, and he is also the imposter amongst the other chipmunks. So this proves that Alvin is not a chipmunk, or anything like that. Alvin is just a sussy amogus imposter.

Just cleaning my keyboard Don't mind me, just cleaning my keyboard
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Koalas are fucking horrible animals. They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal, additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food. They are too thick to adapt their feeding behaviour to cope with change. In a room full of potential food, they can literally starve to death. This is not the token of an animal that is winning at life. Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives. When they are awake all they do is eat, shit and occasionally scream like fucking satan. Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal. Many herbivorous mammals have adaptations to cope with harsh plant life taking its toll on their teeth, rodents for instance have teeth that never stop growing, some animals only have teeth on their lower jaw, grinding plant matter on bony plates in the tops of their mouths, others have enlarged molars that distribute the wear and break down plant matter more efficiently... Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death, because they're fucking terrible animals. Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here). When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them.

be me get home from my vasectomyhear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's roommust be Chad again know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer log onto >redditcostanzayeahrightsmirk and open r/greentextread a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section Fake: anon thinks he is attractive Gay: anon's "looking" at pictures of Ryan Gosling giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original commenthear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seedit's been a good dayi'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough


⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ l​
 
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IlluminatiPirate

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Here's another one that's OC:

I DEMAND (YOUS)!!

I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE! I REPLY TO EVERY SINGLE POST THAT I FEEL LIKE I CAN GIVE A COMPRENSIVE AND WELL STRUCTURED REPLY BUT I NEVER GET ANY (YOUS) BACK!!! WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE I JUST WANT A LILTLE BIT OF (YOUS)! IF I DONT GET ANY I WILL FREAK OUT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!
 
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Kolph

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A girl.... AND an Agora Road user? Whoa mama! Hummina hummina hummina bazooooooooing! eyes pop out AROOOOOOOOGA! jaw drops tongue rolls out WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF tongue bursts out of the outh uncontrollably leaking face and everything in reach WURBLWUBRLBWURblrwurblwurlbrwubrlwburlwbruwrlblwublr ,tiny cupid shoots an arrow through heart Ahhhhhhhhhhh me lady... heart in the shape of a heart starts beating so hard you can see it through shirt ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum milk truck crashes into a bakery store in the background spiling white liquid and dough on the streets BABY WANTS TO FUCK ⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️ inhales from the gas tank ⛽⛽⛽honka honka honka honka masturabtes furiously ohhhh my gooooodd~
 
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IlluminatiPirate

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A girl.... AND an Agora Road user? Whoa mama! Hummina hummina hummina bazooooooooing! eyes pop out AROOOOOOOOGA! jaw drops tongue rolls out WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF tongue bursts out of the outh uncontrollably leaking face and everything in reach WURBLWUBRLBWURblrwurblwurlbrwubrlwburlwbruwrlblwublr ,tiny cupid shoots an arrow through heart Ahhhhhhhhhhh me lady... heart in the shape of a heart starts beating so hard you can see it through shirt ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum milk truck crashes into a bakery store in the background spiling white liquid and dough on the streets BABY WANTS TO FUCK ⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️ inhales from the gas tank ⛽⛽⛽honka honka honka honka masturabtes furiously ohhhh my gooooodd~
I still think about this from time to time :maaan::maaan::maaan::maaan: ah whats that original thread again?
 
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IlluminatiPirate

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ATTENTION CITIZEN! 市民请注意! ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢁⠈⢻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⡀⠭⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣷⣶⣶⡆⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣼⣿⣿⠿⠶⠙⣿⡟⠡⣴⣿⣽⣿⣧⠄⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣟⣭⣾⣿⣷⣶⣶⣴⣶⣿⣿⢄⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣩⣿⣿⣿⡏⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣹⡋⠘⠷⣦⣀⣠⡶⠁⠈⠁⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣍⠃⣴⣶⡔⠒⠄⣠⢀⠄⠄⠄⡨⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡘⠿⣷⣿⠿⠟⠃⠄⠄⣠⡇⠈⠻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⢁⣷⣠⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣠⣾⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉ ⡿⠟⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⡯⢓⣴⣾⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⡟⣷⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄


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YOUR INTERNET ACTIVITY HAS ATTRACTED OUR ATTENTION. 志們注意了 you have been found protesting in the internets!!!!! 這是通知你,你必須 我們將接管台灣 serious crime 以及世界其他地方 100 social credits have been deducted from your account 這對我們所有未來的下屬來說都是一個重要的機會 stop the protest immediately 立即加入我們的宣傳活動,提前獲得 do not do this again! 不要再这样做! if you do not hesitate, more social credits ( -11115 social credits )will be subtracted from your profile, resulting in the subtraction of ration supplies. (由人民供应部重新分配 ccp) you'll also be sent into a re-education camp in the xinjiang uyghur autonomous zone. 为党争光! Glory to the CCP!
 
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MorphedSnowman

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ATTENTION CITIZEN! 市民请注意! ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢁⠈⢻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⡀⠭⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣷⣶⣶⡆⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣼⣿⣿⠿⠶⠙⣿⡟⠡⣴⣿⣽⣿⣧⠄⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣟⣭⣾⣿⣷⣶⣶⣴⣶⣿⣿⢄⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣩⣿⣿⣿⡏⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣹⡋⠘⠷⣦⣀⣠⡶⠁⠈⠁⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣍⠃⣴⣶⡔⠒⠄⣠⢀⠄⠄⠄⡨⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡘⠿⣷⣿⠿⠟⠃⠄⠄⣠⡇⠈⠻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⢁⣷⣠⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣠⣾⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉ ⡿⠟⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⡯⢓⣴⣾⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⡟⣷⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄


ATTENTION CITIZEN! 市民请注意!


This is the Central Intelligentsia of the Chinese Communist Party. 您的 Internet 浏览器历史记录和活动引起了我们的注意



YOUR INTERNET ACTIVITY HAS ATTRACTED OUR ATTENTION. 志們注意了 you have been found protesting in the internets!!!!! 這是通知你,你必須 我們將接管台灣 serious crime 以及世界其他地方 100 social credits have been deducted from your account 這對我們所有未來的下屬來說都是一個重要的機會 stop the protest immediately 立即加入我們的宣傳活動,提前獲得 do not do this again! 不要再这样做! if you do not hesitate, more social credits ( -11115 social credits )will be subtracted from your profile, resulting in the subtraction of ration supplies. (由人民供应部重新分配 ccp) you'll also be sent into a re-education camp in the xinjiang uyghur autonomous zone. 为党争光! Glory to the CCP!
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ATTENTION COMRADES!!!! 同志們注意了 THIS IS TO INFORM YOU THAT YOU MUST SUBMIT YOURSELF TO THE CHINESE COMMUNIST PARTY!!!!! 這是通知你,你必須向中國共產黨投降 WE WILL BE TAKING OVER TAIWAN 我們將接管台灣 AND THE REST OF THE WORLD TOO 以及世界其他地方 THIS IS AN IMPORTANT OPPORTUNITY FOR ALL OUR FUTURE UNDERLINGS 這對我們所有未來的下屬來說都是一個重要的機會 JOIN OUR PROPAGANDA NOW AND RECIEVE +100 SOCIAL CREDITS IN ADVANCE 立即加入我們的宣傳活動,提前獲得 +100 社會信用 IF YOU IGNORE THIS MESSAGE AFTER SEEING IT, WE WILL REMOVE ALL YOUR SOCIAL CREDITS AND YOUR EXECUTION WILL TAKE PLACE AFTER WE TAKE OVER THE WORLD 如果您在看到此消息後忽略此消息,我們將刪除您的所有社會信用,並在我們接管世界後執行您的死刑 LONG LIVE MAO ZEDONG AND LEADER XI 毛澤東和習近平主席萬歲 THE CCP SHALL REIGN ETERNAL 中共將永遠統治 GLORY TO PEOPLE'S REPUBLIC OF CHINA 中華人民共和國光榮​

 
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calico_jack

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"What's reality? I don't know. When my bird was looking at my computer monitor I thought, "That bird has no idea what he's looking at." And yet what does the bird do? Does he panic? No, he can't really panic, he just does the best he can. Is he able to live in a world where he's so ignorant? Well, he doesn't really have a choice. The bird is okay even though he doesn't understand the world. You're that bird looking at the monitor, and you're thinking to yourself, I can figure this out. Maybe you have some bird ideas. Maybe that's the best you can do."
 
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Kolph

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View attachment 14094

ATTENTION COMRADES!!!! 同志們注意了 THIS IS TO INFORM YOU THAT YOU MUST SUBMIT YOURSELF TO THE CHINESE COMMUNIST PARTY!!!!! 這是通知你,你必須向中國共產黨投降 WE WILL BE TAKING OVER TAIWAN 我們將接管台灣 AND THE REST OF THE WORLD TOO 以及世界其他地方 THIS IS AN IMPORTANT OPPORTUNITY FOR ALL OUR FUTURE UNDERLINGS 這對我們所有未來的下屬來說都是一個重要的機會 JOIN OUR PROPAGANDA NOW AND RECIEVE +100 SOCIAL CREDITS IN ADVANCE 立即加入我們的宣傳活動,提前獲得 +100 社會信用 IF YOU IGNORE THIS MESSAGE AFTER SEEING IT, WE WILL REMOVE ALL YOUR SOCIAL CREDITS AND YOUR EXECUTION WILL TAKE PLACE AFTER WE TAKE OVER THE WORLD 如果您在看到此消息後忽略此消息,我們將刪除您的所有社會信用,並在我們接管世界後執行您的死刑 LONG LIVE MAO ZEDONG AND LEADER XI 毛澤東和習近平主席萬歲 THE CCP SHALL REIGN ETERNAL 中共將永遠統治 GLORY TO PEOPLE'S REPUBLIC OF CHINA 中華人民共和國光榮​

Yes sir
a80.jpg
 
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Novem_IX

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MAIN POINT OF SELLING BELGIAN FIVE SEVEN PISTOL IS EXTREME PRICE OF WEAPON AND CARTRIDGE. BELGIAN FIVE SEVEN IS WEAPON OF MAN WHO WEARS EXPENSIVE ITALIAN FASCIST SUIT OF HAND SEWING, DRIVE HUGE EXPENSIVE NAZI MERCEDES OF A.M.G. SHOP, SAIL ON MASSIVE YACHT TO GREEK ISLANDS. I THINK YOU GET PICTURE. BELGIAN FIVE SEVEN IS WEAPON THAT SAYS IS NO SUCH THING AS CONCERN OF MONEY. FOR MAN WITHOUT EXPENSIVE SUIT, BIG BLACK MERCEDES, AND MASSIVE YACHT, BELGIAN FIVE SEVEN IS FOR PRETENDING OF BE RICH LIKE BLACK GANGSTER OF AMERICAN CITY WITH GOLD CHAINS OF LOW QUALITY AND JEWELS OF COLORED GLASS. WHEN YOU EXPLAIN USE OF BELGIAN FIVE SEVEN PISTOL IS ONLY FOR SHOOT MAN WITH BULLET VEST WITH CARTRIDGE ILLEGAL TO CIVILIAN, THIS MAN HAS NUCLEAR RAGE. WHOLE IDENTITY OF THIS MAN IS SPENT IN PRETEND PISTOL SHOWS HE IS RICH. IS VERY AMUSE. FOR REST OF WORLD THERE IS 9 MILLIMETERS OF LUGER WHICH IS SAME WOUND FOR COST LESS.

_______________________________________________________________________

MAN WHO ARGUES ONE SHOT DEATH BY PROUD MILITARY CALIBERS IS FUCKING FOOL. I EXPLAIN WHY.
THIS MAN LOOKS FOR PISTOL TO HIDE ON PERSON TO SHOOT MAN FROM STREET WHO WOULD DO CRIME TO HIM. MAN WHO WOULD DO CRIME IS NOT LIKE BANZAI CHARGE OF JAPANESE INFANTRY. HE IS NOT IN "GROUND OF DEATH" FROM EPISTLE OF WISE SUN TZU. MAN WHO WOULD DO CRIME IS NOT FIGHTING FOR LIFE OR FREEDOM OF PEOPLE. HE FIGHT ONLY FOR THINGS, HE CAN GET SOMEWHERE ELSE FROM SOMEONE ELSE. THIS MAN DOES NOT FIGHT TO DEATH. THIS MAN FIGHT ONLY UNTIL IS CLEAR MAN WITH PISTOL RESISTS AND SO HE RUN AWAY.
PISTOL OF 9 MILLIMETERS OR CALIBER OF .45 IS GREAT SHOCKING HOLE IN BODY. IS GIANT SPOUT OF BLOOD AND PAIN OF MORTAL WOUND. MORE MEN DIE FROM BULLET OF THESE TWO CALIBERS THAN ALL OTHERS IN HISTORY OF WORLD.
I ADVISE AND YOU LISTEN. LAST TIME ARMY CARRY BAD PISTOL INTO COMBAT WAS NAMBU OF JAPANESE EMPIRE. SINCE THAT TIME MILLIONS OF MEN CARRY PISTOL OF 9 MILLIMETERS. IS GOOD ENOUGH FOR THEM WITH STUPID GENEVA TREATY BALL BULLET. IS GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU WITH TEN ROUBLES PER CARTRIDGE HOLLOW NOSE BULLET AND FANCY BRASS OF NICKEL PLATING. YOU PRACTICE WITH MANY MAGAZINE, YOU CARRY MANY CARTRIDGE. WHEN MAN WAVES GUN AT YOU, FILL HIM WITH BULLETS FAST AND STRAIGHT. MORE HOLES IS BETTER THAN BIG HOLES. CARRY PISTOL WITH LARGE MAGAZINE AND MANY CARTRIDGE.
IN THIS WAY YOU DEFEAT CRIMINAL.
 
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View attachment 14094

ATTENTION COMRADES!!!! 同志們注意了 THIS IS TO INFORM YOU THAT YOU MUST SUBMIT YOURSELF TO THE CHINESE COMMUNIST PARTY!!!!! 這是通知你,你必須向中國共產黨投降 WE WILL BE TAKING OVER TAIWAN 我們將接管台灣 AND THE REST OF THE WORLD TOO 以及世界其他地方 THIS IS AN IMPORTANT OPPORTUNITY FOR ALL OUR FUTURE UNDERLINGS 這對我們所有未來的下屬來說都是一個重要的機會 JOIN OUR PROPAGANDA NOW AND RECIEVE +100 SOCIAL CREDITS IN ADVANCE 立即加入我們的宣傳活動,提前獲得 +100 社會信用 IF YOU IGNORE THIS MESSAGE AFTER SEEING IT, WE WILL REMOVE ALL YOUR SOCIAL CREDITS AND YOUR EXECUTION WILL TAKE PLACE AFTER WE TAKE OVER THE WORLD 如果您在看到此消息後忽略此消息,我們將刪除您的所有社會信用,並在我們接管世界後執行您的死刑 LONG LIVE MAO ZEDONG AND LEADER XI 毛澤東和習近平主席萬歲 THE CCP SHALL REIGN ETERNAL 中共將永遠統治 GLORY TO PEOPLE'S REPUBLIC OF CHINA 中華人民共和國光榮​

I love this.
 
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Jessica3cho雪血⊜青意

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Here is a copypasta I made to troll sites where you ask questions and stuff:

HELP i need advice on [pegging]!!1 My boyfriend said he's really into [it] and my brain went to some hentai ive seen so my mouth went "oh yeah i know all about [that]" aaaaaa i don't actually know what im suposed to do??!? like just [stick a dildo in him] and???

You can change the bracketed areas to make it as degenerate or relevant as you want. Such as:

HELP i need advice on making Ramen!!1 My boyfriend said he's really into Ramen and my brain went to some hentai ive seen so my mouth went "oh yeah i know all about that" aaaaaa i don't actually know what im suposed to do??!? like just throws noodles in a bowl and???
 
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Dios mío...Espíritu del Señor. Espíritu de Dios, Padre, Hijo y Espíritu Santo, Santísima Trinidad, Virgen Inmaculada, ángeles, arcángeles y santos del paraíso, descended sobre mí. Fúndeme, Señor, lléname de ti. Expulsa de mi todas las fuerzas del mal, aniquílas, destrúyelas. Expulsa de mí los maleficos, la magia negra, el ogro de las tinieblas, el luz extinguido, el americano... Por favor, destruye la infestación diabólica; todo lo que es mal, pecado, envidia, celos y perfidia; la enfermedad física, psíquica, moral, espiritual y diabólica... destruye al monstruo, a la creatura... Quema a este mal en el infierno, para que nunca más me toquen a mí ni a ningun ser. Ordeno y mando con la fuerza de Dios omnipotente, en nombre de Jesucristo Salvador, por intermedio de la Virgen Inmaculada, a todos los espíritus inmundos, a inmediatamente, que me abandonen definitivamente y que se vayan al infierno eterno. El chupa-chupacabras no puede triunfar, el monstruo, el abominación... debe morir... Encadenado por San Miguel arcángel, por San Gabriel, por San Rafael, aplastado bajo el talón de la Virgen Santísima Inmaculada, aleja el aberración genetíca, al ogro de las Americas... Amén.
 
My dog's testicles are stuck in a mousetrap?
My chuwawa usually sleeps in the garage so i let him in there a few minutes ago forgetting that i had placed a few mouse traps in there. the dog is still relatively young and has testicles the size of tennis balls. I mean they are bigger htan his head. Apparently he was dragging those monsters to close to a trap and it snapped right on his nuts. He's really angry right now and won't let me get close enough to help. He already bit me really hard and im bleeding pretty bad. I tried shooting him with a horse tranquilizer dart but I missed and it blew out one of my car's tiresl, so i can't drive to hte vet or anything. My plan right now is to have my 4 yr old approach it from the front to distract the dog while i sneek up behind him and club him with a tire iron. does anybody else have a better idea?
 
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Novem_IX

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You do not have either the judgment or knowledge to make a ludicrous statement like that, wormdung. You demonstrate only your idiocy, and your juvenile lack of discrimination, when you stand up on your hind legs and bark like that. This is a site for serious collectors who actually know what they're talking about, unlike you, asshole. When you accuse me of showing a picture of a Rolex which is less than completely authentic, you are saying I'm either stupid or venal, but that's you, scumbag, not anyone on this site. We know what we collect; you know shit. I expect a complete apology from you, before the moderator bans you from this site forever. You are stupid, unwise and not wanted here. Now apologize, fuckhead, and then go die.
 
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The fact that so many books still name the Beatles as "the greatest or most significant or most influential" rock band ever only tells you how far rock music still is from becoming a serious art. Jazz critics have long recognized that the greatest jazz musicians of all times are Duke Ellington and John Coltrane, who were not the most famous or richest or best sellers of their times, let alone of all times. Classical critics rank the highly controversial Beethoven over classical musicians who were highly popular in courts around Europe. Rock critics are still blinded by commercial success. The Beatles sold more than anyone else (not true, by the way), therefore they must have been the greatest. Jazz critics grow up listening to a lot of jazz music of the past, classical critics grow up listening to a lot of classical music of the past. Rock critics are often totally ignorant of the rock music of the past, they barely know the best sellers. No wonder they will think that the Beatles did anything worthy of being saved.
 
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Time to revive this.
i believe vaginas have such a powerful raw sexual energy to make contrast a male penis is like kung fu: strong, monolithic, phallic powerful a female vagina is like tai chi: soft, hidden, tender, internal however just like the yin and yang and most dualities in the universe like dark and light, evil and good the penis and vagina complement and need each other, none can exist without the other penis is like kung fu it goes from hardness to softness in erection but the vagina is tai chi, it goes from softness to hardness in clenching the vaginal walls vagina is like water in which its potential power is unseen until the right circumstances, which i believe is as powerful if not more than a penis of which the power is clearly visible
penis power is the thrust vaginal power is the grip and clench
 
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№56

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Why didn't the "wizards" just cast themselves out of the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises? Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series' only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody, just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it's certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.
 
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№56

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I saw Ryan Gosling at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn't want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, "Oh, like you're doing now?" I was taken aback, and all I could say was "Huh?" but he kept cutting me off and going "huh? huh? huh?" and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.

The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like "Sir, you need to pay for those first." At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually "to prevent any electrical infetterence," and then turned around and winked at me. I don't even think that's a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.
 
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