Diary Cringe - Post your teenage angst.

[LostintheCycle]

I'm sure that many of us at some point took to writing in a journal, a diary, or in scattered text files on our laptops at some point in our teenage years. It's nearly been five years since I wrote my first diary entry, not long after I turned 14 years old. I still write to this day, and I've even written a whole essay about diary writing. I feel very strongly about it's use for self-reflection and self-understanding. This thread was made sort of in dedication to that, how though I grew older I knew I'd want to keep this diary for the future. Though I think 14 year old me wouldn't expect me now to be laughing at him instead.

My first entry did not hold back:
. . . my birthday was yesterday, though I was not excited AT ALL. Perhaps the age, responsibility, and the looming future is getting to me. I have essentially rid myself of useless sociam media now. I deleted Facebook, Instagram and Tumblr. Now I use >reddit, DeviantArt and YouTube. I have other, random stuff I need to delete as well. That's all for now

A few days later, I did the reader a nice favour and laid out my personality for them to understand me more easily:
. . . as of 1/10/2017 I am 14. I am an atheist. I am a brony. I love anime/manga. My favourite anime includes Sailor Moon, Love Live: School Idol Project, Junjo Romantica and Eromanga Sensei. [these were the only animes I'd ever seen] I use >reddit and DeviantArt, occasionally 4chan. My favourite author is Robert Cormier. I despise my generation, and I detest normies. I am a gamer. My favourite games are Super Meat Boy and The Binding of Isaac. I am practicing my digital art. I am neither an introvert nor an extrovert, for I am somewhat a mixture of the two. I aspire to be able to write, draw and compose music. I am cynical, and I probably debate about my opinions too much. I understand that I am not unique, and I understand that life is truly meaningless, and I live beside people trapped in their own bubble, who desperately try to pretend that you can be truly happy in this world.
Such a visceral note to end on...

The following is a full entry where I didn't have much to say:
They say 'Be Happy'. I can only be happy when capitalism crumbles. If it ever happens, I certainly won't be alive. That's what makes me sad.

Here is an entry which is funny in retrospect:
. . . there's this scrawny clarinet player. Year 10 this year, same class as [my girlfriend]. Thin, but not stick thin. Mediocre height. Underdeveloped set of conversation skills. Not much of a looker. Musically, he's crap, always squeaking, can't sightread for shit, and barely knows the fingerings half the time. He is in the same clarinet row as [my girlfriend] too. I fear that he may have a thing for [her]. I've noticed he always leans more to her when chatting. Then again, it may be a musician thing, like how I stick with the other saxophones. But I still have my suspicions . . . I had him in [my] class, which is how I know these things about him.
That last sentence aside, the reason why I find this entry so funny is because that guy was gay and had a crush on me, which is why he clammed up when talking to me; obviously he had zero interest in my girlfriend as well

In this next part, you can see just how much time I spent on 4chan:
Date with [my girlfriend] yesterday was fairly good. Learnt a bit more about her dad. He does like Adolf Hitler, which I'm glad to know. I educated [girlfriend's mother] on the link between Hitler and anime as well.

I could keep going on and on, I've got hundreds and hundreds of entrys, so I'll share just one more.
. . . I finished Season 3 of Rick And Morty. I'm a huge fan now. Gosh, I've been missing out. Beautiful show. Genuinly fun, well written, even sad sometimes. Sitcoms are shit, but this is a masterpiece. It's a shame any outsiders are too stupid to look at it any deeper than their shallow perception of "Edgy, adult cartoon about farts and dicks".

Fellow travellers, humble yourselves and give us the best cringe that your teenage angst ever produced.

 

[llillilll]

That was some peak cringe. I used to write diaries but i don't anymore. I remember i wrote about how much i hate women because they are soo unsymphatic towards men, attractive people because they are always obnoxious. i at some point wrote about how much i hate atheists and i wrote about hating leftists. They were all cringy af and i don't even think i can write in such angry undertone today.

 

[LostintheCycle]

That was some peak cringe. I used to write diaries but i don't anymore. I remember i wrote about how much i hate women because they are soo unsymphatic towards men, attractive people because they are always obnoxious. i at some point wrote about how much i hate atheists and i wrote about hating leftists. They were all cringy af and i don't even think i can write in such angry undertone today.

Please get them out, this sounds like gold and I'd like to hear it

 

[llillilll]

Please get them out, this sounds like gold and I'd like to hear it

I threw them all out, i would post them all otherwise

 

[ETierhuman]

heres my dumb teenage thing
oh wait

 

[wot]

My earliest entries were made on notebooks that wound up getting ruined, so all I have left are from when I started writing digitally. Don't feel comfortable posting entire entries, but here's some highlights:

• Claiming I "temporarily lost my wisdom" (i.e. was genuinely happy, something I wasn't used to) after having a positive interaction for the first time in years
• Obsessing over some girl I liked solely because she was a weeb who almost went out with me in middle school, even though we drifted apart a year after meeting
• Thinking I could beat her boyfriend in a fight despite being weaker than him, "thanks to my superior intellect, lightning agility, and iron will"
• Crushing on the one girl in school who liked programming and thinking that, if I proved myself a better programmer than her boyfriend, I'd win her over

I bet I'd have more cringe to share if I wasn't so afraid of someone finding my writings back then. Only wrote like once every couple weeks or whenever I just felt the need.

 

[bnuungus]

I despise my generation, and I detest normies. I am a gamer.

dear LORD my sides. full on shadow the hedgehog vibes

I would post cringe but I could never keep a diary. My childhood writings would probably be more depressing than cringe anyway

 

[Jade]

I tried writing diaries during my teen years but I struggled too much with shame to ever really commit to them, because I feared that I would look back on them one day and hate myself for writing them because of how cringy they would seem to future me. Even with writing fiction stories I just couldn't go through with them because I felt like they were all terrible, even when people said they were great. It hurt because I felt completely inadequate next to the stories I liked and was inspired by, yet other people said that my stuff was great, so I ended up thinking that they must just have low standards.

 

[Little River Aral]

Fahk, I threw away the diary I had when I was 11 years old. I sporadically used one as a teenager, wrote at age 11 or so for a few months, then around age 15 wrote unsent letters every day during summer break to my then crush (threw them away also), then around age 18-19 wrote another diary that I threw away, and now been keeping one since September 29, 2021, that I write in Russian. I first wrote to no one in particular, but since December 2021 I write to the person I consider my guardian angel/spirit guide, and also channel them sometimes when I feel them coming through me. Of course, they may just be a part of myself, but I don't really care, I take it as it comes.

I personally don't find your entries cringey at all. You were 14.

> Learnt a bit more about her dad. He does like Adolf Hitler, which I'm glad to know. I educated [girlfriend's mother] on the link between Hitler and anime as well.
tho what the fuck is this dad omg

 

[Little River Aral]

heres my dumb teenage thing
oh wait

kiddo you're fine, let yourself be a dumb teen

 

[LostintheCycle]

I have brought some things to share here. You know how I said I've been writing my diary for about five years? Well that's my current one I started as a moody teenager, but I actually started back when I was nine years old. I didn't write very often in it, and eventually I got bored of it and just used it to draw pictures eventually, I begun writing casual bits just before high school any time that I was feeling really emo and I stepped it up from there. So all these pictures are from my first diary. Stretching 'teenage' slightly, but there was definitely 'angst' sometimes.
Oh, and you'll notice the Diary Of A Wimpy Kid theme on the pages. Have a guess where I got inspired to write a diary in the first place...

Here is the first ever entry I wrote:

Sheesh the Greg Heffley mimicry is really seeping through here.
By the way, the 'free limo' thing is because my dad was a chauffer at one point, and sometimes would take me to school in one if he had a job that day.

This here is when I decided that I would be a playwright. I don't think I'd ever seen a play in my life at this age (somewhere near eleven or twelve), I guess I was just inspired?
This is the only page of the play ever written, but I think it tells enough of a story.

This entry I wrote when I was all sentimental and looking back on the old diary. I made a transcript below the image.

Transcript: I see. How can one think they are as mature as can be, yet be so immature? I've read this book, and so much has changed. I'd burn this, but I'd probably regret it, even though it could whip around and bite my ass one day. I don't use >reddit, 4chan, or Tumblr. I'm not a brainwashed LGBT retard anymore. I'd say that I'm mature, but I probably aren't yet. Now, I'm focusing on drawing, and maybe a little game project on the side. Hey! Maybe I can save up from commisions! Time to truly dedicate myself. At this time, I've been keeping a digital diary. In a month, two, six, a year ... I've changed drastically. Still a brony though, but not a furry! This will be my final entry in this book. I feel that it is a historical record of another me, one who is no longer here. This book was great. To vent and to record. Even if I cringe, I'm glad to have this. Goodbye book.
I'm shocked by my self awareness for a freshly fourteen year old kid, but don't let that fool you. This entry preceded an era where I was an absolutely horrible person.

There's one page I wish I could show but it would probably dox me, it's full of names. Twice a year or so from fifth grade to seventh, when I became a bit of an 'outcast', I started what I called 'People Truths', a biannual feature where I listed everyone in my class and give an honest word or few to each. Some examples include: on and off friendship; neutral; crybaby; me as a girl (wtf did this mean?); faggot; sporty; extra weird; meh; shut his hole (my phrase for anyone I found really fucking annoying).

I'll wrap up this post with a genius quote, attributed to myself by myself.

You have no idea how disappointed I was when I learned there was no such thing as "professional quote writer".​

 

[Remember_Summer_Days]

Not a diary... But when I was depressed back in HS I had this severe case of smarter than thou attitude.

Our teacher had put us in a circle formation and made us say a thing we admired about each other (as a group)...

And I said... I admire how you all maintain hegemonic relationships better than me...

Lmao why. Like I could tell it was cringe at the time but my teenage brain thought that being cringe was a sign of some sort of superiority..

 

[guy who is so high]

Never had the patience to keep a journal, but I have some real cringe Tumblr posts from 16 year old me from when I was starting to take risperidone, which is even worse IMO. For context this is around the time I had to drop out of high school because of the side effects of risperidone, meaning I had even more free time on my hands. Chaos ensues.

Ladies and gents, I present to you the kind of bullshit a schizophrenic teenager posts on Tumblr in 2014-2015.

Reading these is kinda hard, but I picked the few I don't mind reading back too much. If you find my old blog from back then, sorry for the excessive cringe. Also, pretty sure there's some SH pics somewhere in there so, huh, just browse safely?

As a palette cleanser, here's something from the blog that I actually still like.

 

[Cobalt]

Not a diary... But when I was depressed back in HS I had this severe case of smarter than thou attitude.

Our teacher had put us in a circle formation and made us say a thing we admired about each other (as a group)...

And I said... I admire how you all maintain hegemonic relationships better than me...

Lmao why. Like I could tell it was cringe at the time but my teenage brain thought that being cringe was a sign of some sort of superiority..

Are you me?

 

[Remember_Summer_Days]

Are you me?

Yes

 

[Cobalt]

Yes

Oh, I'm so sorry for you then mate.

 

[Remember_Summer_Days]

Oh, I'm so sorry for you then mate.

I'm also sorry for you bro.

 

[mydadiscar]

OP, you just wrote those things to fuck with us, right?
...riiiiiiight??

 

[calico_jack]

Did anyone have an eminem phase? thank god i never documented that shit but the memory still haunts me.
I was also 13 when filthy frank was in his hayday, which is just young enough to miss all of the satire and absorb all of the edgy jokes.

 

[Miku Simpson]

Found some generally very cringy stuff wrote from 2017-2019, heres some highlights:

6.2.19
But a week or so ago i found somthing kinda weird and creepy,
I found a new folder on my computer called heh, and it has a document with weird stuff on it. it had a list of dates, along with "Blackout" times, there was a weird conversation abouve it too.
what was freaky is that it was from the perspective of me, so i can only presume i've forgotten about it. I have really low iron so I think im just not feeling myself, i think the doctor nect week will pescribe me a infusion

29.4.18
Today at [BOYFRIEND] house we got to babysit [BF brother]
Gosh, i love [BOYFRIEND] so much, i really do think he is my soul mate (even if i don't deserve him.) not only is he super funny, smart and sexy, but he's great at dealing with [BF BROTHER]. honestly somtimes it makes me feel a tad embarrased since i know literally nothing about toddlers! but in my defense, i've never met one in person. Though then again, i think he realises that I'm useless with babies too, but i still feel like i should know how to at least control an infant!

29.9.18
[BOYFRIEND] starting to really like Michelle Creber (aka Applebloom MLP), i don't know if i feel okay with it or not. god that sounds so selfish, it just sounds so petty when i write it down!
But i have been picturing in my head alot that one day he would leave me for Michelle, or one of his anime girls. I really don't want to think that, but it's always a possibility.
i want to see If theres some sort of way to higher my voice somehow, i sound stupid, i've also considered plastic surgery, but y'know, thats stupid.

3.5.18 (BORED SCHOOL MONOLOUGE)
fair trade. fair trade. fair trade. how to fair trade a fatty fat fair trde is fatter than the fairness of trade, can i trade in my fat for fairness? My flavour of trade is fair to fat. fair trade is bad because it is unfair.i like the fat when it's unfair. i don't like the unfair when it's fat. fair trade fair trade fair trade fair trade i am working on fair trade, it's not fair, it's fat . fat trade for the win yall! fat trade is not fair, it's trade trade.i like the fat trade trade because it's fair. i like fair fat trade trade trade trade trade. god, i have nothing else better to do than talk about fair trade.
well, that's what i should be doing, but nope! i finished that crap like a week ago, now i just type into note pad. 2:55, the bell should go already!