how do i forget a breakup easily, when i got cheated on?

timmymisler

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title says it all. (i hate >redditcostanzayeahrightsmirk so much)
 

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First of all, as the fellas said before, what is >redditcostanzayeahrightsmirk has to do with any of this? Did you met your expartner in Redditt or what? (if that's the case, that is the first red flag what the hell dude)

As a person that had a couple of relationships before (and now is dating the most wonderful person in the world), i could give you the tip that in reality nothing is forever, nor the happiness neither the pain, be happy that you managed to spent a great time with her, if she cheated you see it like it was her lost (Because it was, if you give your trust and you were spit because of that, these person doesn't deserve your tears at all), its ok to be sad but it's better to just keep your head up and see this like an experience, now that you are more experienced with relationships, improve yourself, eventually the next girl is gonna be the one, or better yet, instead of trying to get partner learn to love yourself and improve your life, go to the gym, eat healthier, read a book, take care of yourself, talk with your family, everything counts dude, don't worry about it, we have more time than life and this is nothing but a small scratch, believe me, things will get better soon.

My best tip, is to get professional help, go to therapy, talk about your problems out, and as i said before, try to do the best just for you and no one else, good luck!
 
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title says it all. (i hate >redditcostanzayeahrightsmirk so much)
You don't forget it easily, mate. There's no easy way around this. A breakup is already quite hard to process, but an "aggravated breakup" like this is even harder. You will get over it eventually, but it's going to take you a while. Of course, your mileage may vary. It depends on how sensitive you are, how long the relationship was, and many other factors.

The path to healing is not linear. There are days where you'll still feel you are going to die. There are days where you'll be happy. It's not an always logical process. There are some things about your relationship that will come back up to the surface, positive or negative. I advise you to stay away from your ex at least until things are ok, or to just cut off contact with them altogether, it depends on how you were getting on with each other and on your psychological threshold. I can't keep in contact with someone who betrayed me, even when I know intellectually they acted out of fear, but maybe you can. We're all different about this. There is no real hard rule, only suggestions, because the ultimate decision maker here is you.

Allow yourself to feel sad, angry, and most importantly, express it.
Whether it's by art, or by something else, express it. If you don't, it's going to stay stuck inside you and consume you. You don't deserve to live on an IV drip of resentment, pain and anger. You need to get it out of your system whenever it comes. That's how we heal. Sweeping your distress and pain under the rug is going to make it worse in the long run. Know that it's not your fault if they cheated. It's difficult to accept, but... the truth is, they chose to do it. You didn't make them cheat on you. They were the one who chose to be dishonest rather than to communicate about issues or just the fact they want to go elsewhere. Even if there is "oh I didn't want to hurt your feelings", it's still quite offensive to be dishonest like that. It's a betrayal. It's a knife in the contract. And this is still unacceptable (imo, of course).

Let yourself mourn the relationship before you try and date again... really, that's important. Don't jump immediately into a rebound. A friend of mine broke up with her abusive gf recently and is now... well, chasing another one she barely knows and who apparently treats her well, but it's still quite early to judge and it's worrying me a ton because abusive relationships typically begin normally or "ideally", and the vulnerable period after a breakup is a predator's hunting grounds. Besides, if you're still not over your ex, it's not really fair to the new person, unless it's an open relationship of sorts. Still, I think that even in open relationships it's preferable to have healed from your ex first, rather than straight up jump into it.

Take your time to heal.
There's no time limit. Don't listen to people who invalidate your emotions or dismiss you, or say you have to be over it by a certain time. It's false. You have your own pace. Respect it. It may take 3 weeks like it may take a year or two, but it's your own pace.

I don't really have a lot of relationship experience (never found anyone to date), but I had my heart broken a couple months ago by someone I really liked and who led me on, so I understand how it feels to mourn something, and I like to try and help whenever possible. It's a hard process. But in the end... the only way out is through. Avoiding it will only delay your grief and complicate it.
 
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VelvetApe

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Focus on getting yourself sorted out. It'll be shit for a while, don't jump into something straight away. Don't isolate yourself, keep close with your friends and family.
 
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punishedgnome

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First of all, do things you want to do that make you happy. You into playing games? Don't be afraid to play some games. Don't wallow in self pity, do things that make you happy.

Personally, I would also recommend you fuck around another woman. Don't get in a relationship with her; just hang out with her a bit. Maybe watch some TV or have a bit of take out and fuck her. IMO, part of getting over a woman is realizing there are lots of them out there who are willing to sleep with you. They call it a rebound for a reason. However, it is critical that you don't get in a serious relationship with this woman if you do this. The allure of a new woman who is not your ex will make you see whoever you're fucking as more desirable than she actually is.

That's just what works for me.
 
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timmymisler

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First of all, as the fellas said before, what is >redditcostanzayeahrightsmirk has to do with any of this? Did you met your expartner in Redditt or what? (if that's the case, that is the first red flag what the hell dude)

As a person that had a couple of relationships before (and now is dating the most wonderful person in the world), i could give you the tip that in reality nothing is forever, nor the happiness neither the pain, be happy that you managed to spent a great time with her, if she cheated you see it like it was her lost (Because it was, if you give your trust and you were spit because of that, these person doesn't deserve your tears at all), its ok to be sad but it's better to just keep your head up and see this like an experience, now that you are more experienced with relationships, improve yourself, eventually the next girl is gonna be the one, or better yet, instead of trying to get partner learn to love yourself and improve your life, go to the gym, eat healthier, read a book, take care of yourself, talk with your family, everything counts dude, don't worry about it, we have more time than life and this is nothing but a small scratch, believe me, things will get better soon.

My best tip, is to get professional help, go to therapy, talk about your problems out, and as i said before, try to do the best just for you and no one else, good luck!
oh i didn't meet her on reddit. it's just posts like these are on >redditcostanzayeahrightsmirk, when i googled what to do, so yeah sorry, it's out of context but thank you for your reply! it helps a lot
 

CapnGreenGenes

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Start Exercising and lifting weights dont have to go crazy with it, start reading some books or pick up a new hobby like guitar idk.....make yourself a better version of you for YOU no one else, then should said slimy chick come back around you can walk away knowing she missed out and screwed up...AND the added benefit of improving yourself, you WILL start to get noticed by better quality women...just have to guard your heart and keep it in your pants!
 
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Still a Youth

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Screen.Thief

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I went through this back last year and it was so horrible. You feel worthless, unappreciated, terrible, depressed, etc. I went through the first 2 months looking for anything to help, alcohol, drugs, everything except therapy lmao. But in all honesty, all you can do is cut the chord... HARD! No contact what do ever, block them on everything and realize that your life is better without the loathsome SOB. It wasn't until my life culminated on the kitchen floor in a drunk rampage that I decided to turn it around. I stopped looking for things to fill the void like Vodka, and Drugs. And started looking for real things like hobbies, music, reconnect with friends, make new ones. It might sound really cliché, but once I stopped looking for someone else, they found me. It wasn't until I really started to rediscover myself that I began to be happy, I one day just woke and was like " damn I'm not sad anymore" all this depends on how long the relationship lasted, obviously the longer you were in it, the worse it'll be. But hopefully some of this helped. Long story short, do what makes you happy, and you'll heal faster. Although I will say, be careful in your next relationship not to be too paranoid because I've struggled with that in latter relationships after.
 
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