Vapyd
Internet Refugee
Hi! Some of you might know me from Bandcamp, SoundCloud or Twitter. Something has been weighing on my mind lately and I keep going in circles about it. So I thought I just ask a bunch of strangers on a forum, I don't frequent that often... so here it goes.
I have been at this Vaporwave thing for about 3 years now. I have 15 releases under my belt, I have been on multiple comps and have released on some reputable labels. I am active in the community and I know that I have people who look up to me and that think a comment or RT from me is a serious bump. And yet I can't shake this feeling that I am just a mediocre aging EDM producer, faking it. How stupid is that? Who would fake being into Vaporwave? And how sad would that be? A wannabe-vaporwave artist... The more you can maybe understand how much it bugs me that I feel like one. And I think people feel that I feel like that.
What doesn't help is that my tapes don't sell well and that my shit-posts on Twitter consistently get more likes and retweets than my music-related posts. Damn near every remix, collab and compilation appearance I did so far, I had to initiate. I am not asking to be Porter Vong or George Clanton, I just wanna feel like part of the community and not like an interloper.
And then there is the thing that I have no idea where this whole project is supposed to go. Do I want to get famous? Sorta, but more in a "respected among my fellow artists" kind of way. Do I want to crossover eventually to more mainstream styles? Not really. Do I want to keep making the same, formulaic, sounds-like-done-in-a-day sound that Vapyd has become known for? Do I want to experiment and be more avant garde, like I know that I could? Or do I just wanna keep making vapid little vapor-diddies that are just fun to listen to? The problem is: I have no idea! What's the endgame here? I know I can't quit...
The last time I "stopped making music", my life was miserable. Empty. Without my "music" and my fake-ish persona hyping it online, I don't have much. And the mundane existence of a non-creative person, with friends and bars and movies and hobbies and work... I would honestly kill myself sooner or later.
So here we are... 3 years of tunes, 1.4k followers across various platforms (mainly Twitter tho) and I get nearly no satisfaction out of it. It's more like a compulsion. I have to do it, whether I feel shit about it or not, because if I don't, I will feel even shittier.
I don't know if any of you have any advice on how to combat this impostor syndrome and if there are ways for me to feel more a part of the community, but I just had to get this off my chest and even just writing this down has helped me a little. Any responses will be read and greatly appreciated.
Thanks for reading.
Oh, and I made new song and put it as single on my Bandcamp
https://vapyd.bandcamp.com/track/i-may-be-a-fool
I have been at this Vaporwave thing for about 3 years now. I have 15 releases under my belt, I have been on multiple comps and have released on some reputable labels. I am active in the community and I know that I have people who look up to me and that think a comment or RT from me is a serious bump. And yet I can't shake this feeling that I am just a mediocre aging EDM producer, faking it. How stupid is that? Who would fake being into Vaporwave? And how sad would that be? A wannabe-vaporwave artist... The more you can maybe understand how much it bugs me that I feel like one. And I think people feel that I feel like that.
What doesn't help is that my tapes don't sell well and that my shit-posts on Twitter consistently get more likes and retweets than my music-related posts. Damn near every remix, collab and compilation appearance I did so far, I had to initiate. I am not asking to be Porter Vong or George Clanton, I just wanna feel like part of the community and not like an interloper.
And then there is the thing that I have no idea where this whole project is supposed to go. Do I want to get famous? Sorta, but more in a "respected among my fellow artists" kind of way. Do I want to crossover eventually to more mainstream styles? Not really. Do I want to keep making the same, formulaic, sounds-like-done-in-a-day sound that Vapyd has become known for? Do I want to experiment and be more avant garde, like I know that I could? Or do I just wanna keep making vapid little vapor-diddies that are just fun to listen to? The problem is: I have no idea! What's the endgame here? I know I can't quit...
The last time I "stopped making music", my life was miserable. Empty. Without my "music" and my fake-ish persona hyping it online, I don't have much. And the mundane existence of a non-creative person, with friends and bars and movies and hobbies and work... I would honestly kill myself sooner or later.
So here we are... 3 years of tunes, 1.4k followers across various platforms (mainly Twitter tho) and I get nearly no satisfaction out of it. It's more like a compulsion. I have to do it, whether I feel shit about it or not, because if I don't, I will feel even shittier.
I don't know if any of you have any advice on how to combat this impostor syndrome and if there are ways for me to feel more a part of the community, but I just had to get this off my chest and even just writing this down has helped me a little. Any responses will be read and greatly appreciated.
Thanks for reading.
Oh, and I made new song and put it as single on my Bandcamp
https://vapyd.bandcamp.com/track/i-may-be-a-fool