Opinions on polygamy and polyamory?

[ĦĦĦ]

What are Agorans opinions on polygamy and polyamory? Is it hedonistic, degenerate or/and hurtful to everyone involved? Or is it like any other kind of relationship and should it be normalized? If any of you hold at least one of these opinions then write a post about it and argue with other users about how morally superior you are, and how your God's chosen soldier or something.

I personally don't have any opinion concerning polygamy and polyamory, so it'll be interesting seeing others opinions concerning the topic.

 

[Andy Kaufman]

Is it hedonistic

yes

degenerate

not necessarily

hurtful to everyone involved

usually

should it be normalized

No! People today are already struggling with one on one connections, let them figure out those first before they start juggling multiple at once


If someone wants to do it, I'd advice against it because of all the drama and potential heartbreak involved but ultimately I can't stop them. It's absolutely not for me.

 

[astralita]

Monogamy or death.
It's not beneficial for us women.
It's rooted in biological programming.
You can't build stability in that type of relationship, you can't even marry.
If one other is difficult to deal with, since they have their own feelings, beliefs, and agenda, imagine two or three others.
People into it are weird and gross, case in point: dana hare

 

[llillilll]

if homosexuality is involved it is good if it doesn't it won't work.

 

[Andraserapis]

Monogamy or death.
It's not beneficial for us women.
It's rooted in biological programming.

Even though I agree with you, your reasoning is not contributing to your point. Monogamy is not rooted in biological programming, the vast majority of mammal species practice polygyny, meaning one male mates with many females; we can clearly see it in our biology--men can reproduce basically without limit, but women need to wait months from conception to birth. It's a well-known, well-evidenced fact.

If one other is difficult to deal with, since they have their own feelings, beliefs, and agenda, imagine two or three others.

This only follows if you accept that people are generally difficult to deal with. Not a great reason. I think most people who live good lives are generally more agreeable than not.

People into it are weird and gross

Yeah they really are. The "why do all poly people look like that" meme is genuinely real. My guess is that outsider/chronically online people become so mentally narrow that they can really only stand the presence of <6 people, and so instead of spreading out social time with many people they max it out with those few, and from that they might as well have terrible sex with each other.

 

[astralita]

Even though I agree with you, your reasoning is not contributing to your point. Monogamy is not rooted in biological programming, the vast majority of mammal species practice polygyny, meaning one male mates with many females; we can clearly see it in our biology--men can reproduce basically without limit, but women need to wait months from conception to birth. It's a well-known, well-evidenced fact.

This only follows if you accept that people are generally difficult to deal with. Not a great reason. I think most people who live good lives are generally more agreeable than not.

Yeah they really are. The "why do all poly people look like that" meme is genuinely real. My guess is that outsider/chronically online people become so mentally narrow that they can really only stand the presence of <6 people, and so instead of spreading out social time with many people they max it out with those few, and from that they might as well have terrible sex with each other.

Monogamy or death is like the title haha, the later sentences are referring to polygamy.
People could be difficult to deal with, sometimes because of them, sometimes because you are not in the right headspace, sometimes for external factors. But a relationship is difficult, no matter how much communication and empathy you practice in it. Life is unpredictable, no matter how much you love the other person, it's normal for a relationship to have its highs and lows.
To be rude and blunt, I see people into polygamy as sex addicts, predatory males and pick me women.

 

[UltramarineWeather]

What are Agorans opinions on polygamy?

 

[Andraserapis]

Monogamy or death is like the title haha, the later sentences are referring to polygamy.
People could be difficult to deal with, sometimes because of them, sometimes because you are not in the right headspace, sometimes for external factors. But a relationship is difficult, no matter how much communication and empathy you practice in it. Life is unpredictable, no matter how much you love the other person, it's normal for a relationship to have its highs and lows.
To be rude and blunt, I see people into polygamy as sex addicts, predatory males and pick me women.

oh I read it as:
"Monogamy or death."
"It's [polygamy] not beneficial for us women."
"It's [monogamy] rooted in biological programming."

Again I agree that polygamy isn't workable, but I think you misunderstand polygamists. Predatory males and pick me women don't live in 'polycules,' they just party and sleep around. It makes waaaay more sense to not commit to anyone rather than to commit to some amount of people. Polygamy is not about hedonism, at least not now in society. Hook-up culture is about hedonism. Right now the vast majority of polygamists are just very strange, weird people. Or maybe polygamy is the ugly-person version of hook-up culture.

That is to say, hook-up culture is fun in the short term but pretty exhausting and damaging to one's ability to form bonds with others long-term. It is, actually VERY fun in the short term. Especially with drugs.

 

[ĦĦĦ]

if homosexuality is involved it is good if it doesn't it won't work.

what difference does homosexuality make in a polyamorous relationship? could you specify please?
-------------------------------------
on another note, has anyone actually interacted with polyamorous people? online and in real life. if so can they talk about their experiences with them?

 

[Simmo]

What are Agorans opinions on polygamy?

It's disgusting, immoral and goes completely against what all humans are generally wired for.
It's practiced by only the most mentally-ill of degenerates, and you can tell just by looking at them and their soulless fuckin' Kubrick-stares just how far they've fallen.
The 'people' who practice this shit are nearly always brainwashed subhuman nulls, and should be treated as so.

Goes without saying, but there is nobody I hate more than the sexually immoral.

on another note, has anyone actually interacted with polyamorous people? online and in real life. if so can they talk about their experiences with them?

All the opinions I have on other people are generally formed because of my interactions with them, so yes.
Used to live close to the 'liberal center' of Tasmania (far away from that shitheap now thankfully) where weird shit is common, people walk the streets in their fuckin' pyjamas and everyone's an extremist sodomite that's in a polycule. I had too many times where I was at a pub and a random couple or three..ple..? Come up to me and give me the "we really like your vibe" proposition.

I very quickly began to hate these people with a deep, boiling passion.

 

[TheMountainsofMadness]

While I can imagine there's at least a few people who could make it work and be a healthy thing, we're probably not even talking about a rounding error the number's so small. calling it hedonistic or degenerate seems a bit excessive, though that seems to be what you see most of. Bare minimum, everyone involved is going to get hurt.
I'm pretty much past "do whatever just leave me out of it and leave me alone" because people are notoriously shit at the "leave me alone" part. I can't express how little I care as a baseline, but when you start talking about what you and other consenting adults do I start to have a big damned problem (best part of being a dude? Not a single person believes you can be sexually harassed. It's even better in a small town that you just moved to) and I go from apathetic to pretty serious dislike, if not outright disdain.
They all have this incredibly uncanny appearance with completely lifeless eyes and that pissed off trout look to the lower half of their face. Coin flip whether one of them is 4 of the 5 fat people I'll interact with that day, or a withered husk that only consumes that soylent shit. And they all have the same personality of Lovecraft's various fish people.
If you want to become an eldritch horror, at least be polite enough to join the rest of your kin somewhere else. If we're going off of what Lovecraft's lunacy (though, it may have been prescience) was pointing to, that's probably France.

And if you think you're that unicorn who can do it in a healthy way: I don't care. To France with you.

 

[aztralsea]

Okay this is like my first post here ever but I disagree, it can be harmful yes but like, if people just communicate well then there isn't an issue with it. Like if you don't want to be a part of a relationship like that then fine but for others they can be perfectly happy and stable and everything.

 

[Drpepper808]

To put it simply, polygamy is not good. In modern day, it is hedonistic. Anecdotally, I've known people with open relationships; they seem happy, and the relationships usually fall apart. If you look at societies where it is the norm, it tends to be that men have all the power.

 

[kodeb8]

I'm seeing people here conflating polygamy and open relationships. They are similar but not the same. Polygamy is a man with multiple wives. Open relationships are both the man and woman having multiple partners. Either way, I'm against both of these.

I don't think it's a coincidence that most societies discourage polygamy. The problem with polygamy is that there aren't enough girls to go around. Societies with a greater population of men than women tend to suffer from instability. Though strangely, the inverse, when there's more women than men, doesn't seem to cause as many problems.

There is a reason why societies where polygamy was common disappeared. Think about it logically. You live in a medieval city state where the king hordes all the girls to himself. Now the king wants to go to war with a neighboring city state, one where polygamy is illegal. You don't have a wife, a house, or own land, so what reason would you have to die in battle protecting this kingdom? You'd be a retard to not join the invading army. At least in that other city state you'll have a better chance of finding a female partner.

 

[LiraTirsoCaduceo]

What are Agorans opinions on polygamy? Is it hedonistic, degenerate or/and hurtful to everyone involved? Or is it like any other kind of relationship and should it be normalized? If any of you hold at least one of these opinions then write a post about it and argue with other users about how morally superior you are, and how your God's chosen soldier or something.

I personally don't have any opinion concerning polygamy, so it'll be interesting seeing others opinions concerning the topic.

Polygamy only works when it is between a wizard and two to five cute anime girls.

 

[llillilll]

what difference does homosexuality make in a polyamorous relationship? could you specify please?

3 (or more) people can't all be into each other, if at least one of them isn't bisexual.

 

[Lamoa]

There isn't much of an issue to it, at least in the multiple wives (or even husbands) kind. Open relationships are a different story though.

Polygamous societies do tend to be less stable, so overall monogamy is preferred.

 

[SolidStateSurvivor]

I've had this shower thought-tier theory that one of the reasons polygamy is on the rise is due to bad economics. In the past a man working 9-5 could support a family, then it became husband and wife working, and now even dual income is hardly enough to make ends meet even without kids. It's why you're getting these weird living situations where it's 3-4 people living together under one roof all boning back and forth.
But could also just be this weird trend of putting labels on everything too, like just fuck around casually with people you connect with if that's your thing, there's no need to declare it formally as something.

 

[Andy Kaufman]

anyone actually interacted with polyamorous people?

Do anectodes from my GF about a polyamorous coworker of hers count?
It was all the drama and shit that you can also read online.

 

[DreamTomato]

From what I've read I agree with Kodeb8 that Poligamy and Polyamory/Open Relationships are being switched up. I haven't interacted with anybody that's married to multiple men/women but that's because in most parts of the world that's not legal. I do think it's weird and cult-adjacent, why are multiple people agreeing to be married to this one person? Poliamory/Open Relationships I do have some experience as I've met people that are in those type of relationships and I've myself kinda been in one. The people I've met haven't ended up well, they open the relationship because one person wants it, not because both are interested so it ends up falling apart pretty quickly.
It may be as some other users mentioned that most people aren't ready to deal with a one-person relationship, let alone more than one but since it's the new thing (not really anymore but oh well) they wanna try it. What I've seen is that there is some idealization around it, like its this solution to boring/bad relationships, maybe because they come from parents whose marriage didn't work and don't want to end up like them or something. Usually what happens is that insecurities pop up, people get defensive and territorial and it gets weird.

My personal experience with an open relationship was meh really, I didn't feel comfortable sleeping with other people, it still felt like cheating so we broke up not long after.

While I do believe that people should be able to experiment and be free and whatever, it is pretty obvious that most people nowdays are no way near close to being able to pull this type of relationship off. Maybe some people can, but they're a minority and they're weirdos.