If it's an action made in service to yourself, then yes. If it's not, then no. It is possible to accidentally suicide. The most common example of this are people who change their mind halfway through the act of suicide and past the point of no return. Taking a lethal dose of medicine, then deciding you don't want to suicide, means you have an accident that's resulted in your suicide. This isn't to be confused with accidental death... i.e. accidental discharge of your gun into your head(idiots looking down barrels). Whether something is selfish or not- while selfish normally associates the meaning of bad as it's often a word for disapproval... I don't think acting in your own interests is bad.
Then there is excessive selfishness which can result in tragedy of the commons-type situations. Suicide of key people, and mass-suicides can do this.
As a suicide survivor, i have to say, i don't think suicide is selfish, i do think in fact, that forcing you to live just because someone is too attached to you and is afraid of suffering a trauma for losing you to be more selfish, because they don't want you alive, they just don't want you to be dead.
The only person forcing you to live, is yourself- no number of mental gymnastics and can put the force on others. Regardless, it's the reason suicide is a difficult decision that requires a lot of strength as it involves
you putting that trauma on a lot of people as a result of
your action. Additionally, shouldn't the opposite be true? Forcing you to be dead, just because someone isn't attached to you and won't suffer trauma from you, selfish? People killing themselves over unrequited love is a good example of this.
- Should suicide be openly discussed? Should it not be treated as such a taboo? It is indeed your life, should you be able to fully live it / end it how you see fit?
Addressing the last point, ending your life how you see fit, you already cannot as a lot of laws put restrictions on it. You can't end your life honourably in a duel. You can't end your life as a terrorist bomber... unless you choose to discard laws, but discarding these sorts of laws invites a lot of violence into our world. I do not support suicide, but I believe those who are dead set on it will find a way regardless as it's a choice that requires a lot of strength. As for assisted suicide and euthanasia, I vehemently do not support as they involve other people speaking in favour of it, and society providing legislation that acts in favour of suicide. Thus Spake Zarathustra speaks pretty well to this point in its chapter on the preachers of death.
I believe its discussion shouldn't be treated as taboo, but I don't think it should be openly discussed. Matters of suicide are usually private matters, and people deserve their privacy. Discussing legislation, support and help for it can be openly discussed. In a philosophical point, of course it should discussed openly. Some people like Albert Camus think its the only relevant question.
I'm just going to point out this question is a loaded question that makes the assumption that you own your life. Do you? As an example that muddies this up, what about a case of conjoined twins where one wants to suicide, and the other does not. If it is their life, then the conjoined suicidal twin, should be able to suicide, killing the other in the process, by this possessiveness. This also discards any discussion of what life is, and whether it can be owned. We certainly own chickens and decide when to kill them for their meat, why not humans? Slave owners certainly did this in terms of owning them for labour, and a fair amount of countries treat citizens as their contractually owned lives, by them being citizens(a good example of this contract being invoked is in jury duty). The question is innocent enough, but the assumption doesn't hold.
To be fair, this falls into a linguistic question of what you mean by "your". What grade of possession is it? To quote the Screwtape letters...
We produce this sense of ownership not only by pride but by confusion. We teach them not to notice the different senses of the possessive pronoun — the finely graded differences that run from "my boots" through "my dog", "my servant", "my wife", "my father", "my master" and "my country", to "my God". They can be taught to reduce all these senses to that of "my boots", the "my" of ownership... we have taught men to say "my God" in a sense not really very different from "my boots", meaning "the God on whom I have a claim for my distinguished services..."
- What reasons do you think young people feel like they've failed at life before it's really even began? Societal expectations? Skewed world-view due to internet usage?
They feel that they failed before it began. This means their arguments will be backed by reason that is skewed to justify their emotions... and frankly their emotions are fair. If they have excessive internet usage, they'll see a lot of shock doom and gloom. The internet is an excellent force of psychological and emotional manipulation. Even videos like the one you posted are a force of psychological shock and emotional manipulation and more doom and gloom. As for societal expectations, western society has done a good job of removing a lot of the stricter and more valuable societal expectations that had a biological root, like that to find a mate, raise a family and uphold responsibilities. If you go to SEA, you'll see this isn't so much the case, as traditional family values still exist, and close-knit communities still exist which was quite a shock to me discovering that. I'm aware Asia generally suffers from this, down to Japan, Korea and China all having their issues(moral corrosion, one-child policy, hikikimori etc).
This corrosion of societal expectations in family values, has corroded women by producing feminism, and has given rise to the "sigma male" and equivalent movement for men. There is also a point of infantalisation of both women and men- best expressed by women being shocked they cannot delay childbirth to their late 30s, whoring their bodies for cheap lonely thrills and by what would previously be the good cut of men who would uphold society, being sedated and robbed of what aggressive violent tendencies they had that was explored by almost all generations before Gen Z. This lack of conflict robs men of the violent nature of the world, and the pragmatism and principles needed to oppose it.
As a result, you have a lot of men in a western world in an echochamber that showcases all the worst problems facing that society, providing them nothing in return for their efforts, providing them cheap thrills for their sedation or their whoring and providing them with nothing that biology rewards the greatest, a family, wife and kids, and a good community to contribute to. With all this set up, and western countries having worked on this corrosion for the last 4-5 decades, it's not hard to see why a lot of men see it as over before it even began.
I don't think it's over before it even bag. There's still plenty of opportunities in the world for men and for women. I think wider amounts of suicide like this is just a symptom of the self-cannibalisation of the western world. China has a similar issue with the "Lying flat" movement, and Japan has a far advanced version of it in hikikimori and women
paying(also again on the point of cheap thrills) for male hookers, when in the western world it's currently the opposite.
- What communities/places on the internet can would-be incels/an-heros go to get help for suicidal thoughts? Hotlines are no real help for lasting depressions imo.
Most incels are actually volcel, as they can pay a hooker for sex if they wanted. Regardless, the fact they mark themselves as incels probably reflects missing the life milestones of a stable western world of going to school, having a girlfriend, graduating, getting a job, marrying, moving in together... where the having a girlfriend part never happened. The fact these milestones don't work anymore are evidence of an unstable western world. Regarding incels it's commonly about relationships, but I believe a lot of relationships are doomed from the start, especially now as they are romanticised love and not pragmatic love. They don't understand the purpose of a relationship, and expect it to fill in their lives, but this won't happen.
Calling it a community on the internet is indecent towards actual community, as the internet by its nature brings community that are really just marketing audiences. A "gaming" community or a "linux" community, when the values of all people who are a part of this community are so vast and diverse as to be difficult to say they are really communal. They quite often feed into the cheap thrills I mentioned before, and act still as sedatives. You would have better look seeking out a real life community, but this very act of leaving the house is difficult for a lot of them as a lot are striken with all sorts of mental illnesses, poor hygiene, poor social skills and don't look after themselves. Of course if they treat themselves like trash, they'll feel like trash.
Suicide hotlines do help. While they may not be substantially helpful as they are often run by volunteers, they are a hell of a lot better than nothing at all. It's fair enough to be cynical about a lot of charities, they suck up a lot of money that goes into the aether and the cost-value proposition is a valid question. They help with the point they're focused on. Suicide. Not depression, but suicide. Of course they don't offer real help for depression because depression is a separate issue. Suicide does not have to be caused by depression. A Suicide bombing, is caused by ideological extremism for example. Lasting depression is better dealt with psychologically(in therapy or with drugs) or physiologically(with exercise and good diet)- see what I said about people treating themselves like trash, their psyche is in a terrible state, and so is their diet and exercise.
This aligns with the sentiment people have about "the death of third places". They're not really dead, just dormant. Gyms, parks, churches, hobbyist groups, etc all act as these and provide the fertile ground for a community. An in-person local church is probably better than an online one anyway, as you have the locally shared values and virtues of your country and people.