Screenwriting the Agora Road Movie

[GENOSAD]

[Hammerkoopa, hall of mirrors, dark, lit in indigo]

Hammerkoopa: If you are me, I am you.

Some_Porcupine: I am you.

Hammerkoopa: And if you are me, then I am Vitnira.

Vitnira: I'm not you.

Some_Porcupine: Then we must opposites, like pris[m or somesuch].

Vitnira: I didn't ask to be part of this.

[The three stand at a junction of mirrors, each a reflection of themselves. Behind them, other members of Agora road are reflected, infinitely, into the mist of the glass]

Ashman: Together we make a whole. I'll handle the gangstalking part.

Zalaz alaza: I'll do the fatherly bit.

Junious: I'll send messages on Agora chat using morse code from my survivalist hut in the woods.

Obake: I can live in Japan and be bitter.

Vitnira: Count me out.

Hammerkoopa: We need a neon red sunburnt Floridian with a mommy milk obsession.

[Vitnira, clearly almost convinced]

Hammerkoopa: Someone sour enough to counter Spheralbloom's toxic overt sexual positivity. Someone who will slap nusers into place. Someone to speak truth to power.

Vitnira: I'm in.

[Eris' reflection, mouth open as if she was about to speak enthusiastically, looking clearly disappointed]

Some_Porcupine: Then it['s/s] settled, two glasses of vodka! What else I add to pdf of zine, making it into dither (so it wont eat up kilos of cyan)

[The reflections reach out and touch the glass of their reflections. A blinding light. The reflections become one, horrific mass: a moderator's nightmare]

[Ext. beach in Nigeria, IlluminatiPirate sips Pina Colada, and shivers]

IlluminatiPirate: I feel like something terrible has just happened to my wealth.

[CUT to black screen with scanline filter. Text appears onscreen.]

Text: CRITICAL ERROR:
VAPORWIVE DRIVE OVERENGAGED.

Text: CRITICAL ERROR:
AGORA ROAD FUNDS NEGATIVE.

Text: REQUESTING NORMALITY RESTORATION:
CODE NEVADA-OTHRPLC

LLILLILLL (offscreen): What?

[Cut to LLILLILLL standing in a large control room, surrounded by tall cockroaches in black suits and ties. He looks into his computer screen as it flashes the same text repeatedly. He shakes his head, then looks back.]

LLILLILLL: Quick! We need someone to buy Agora Gold, right now!

[GENOSAD looks up from sweeping the floor. He's sweeping the exact same spot as he was in the previous shot's background.]

GENOSAD: Can't you see I'm busy cleaning?

[close-up on the area beneath GENOSAD's feet.]

GENOSAD: Someone dropped a Cheerio. It's stuck to the floor.

[In a huff, LLILLILLL leaves the room. GENOSAD continues to sweep the same spot for 7 minutes and 23 seconds before honking is heard offscreen. CUT to LLILLILLL in his Pontiac with an LA90KARR license plate.]

LLILLILLL: GENO! [honks horn] GENO! [honks horn three times in rapid succession]

[GENOSAD steps outside, clearly in a bad mood.]

GENOSAD: What is it, LLILLILLL? Can't- [he stops suddenly as a look of shock crosses his face. He stares at LLILLILLL, who only nods and opens the passenger door.]

LLILLILLL: I've tracked the source of vaporwave overengagement to a vehicle in the UK. If we go now, we can catch up before their second loop.

[GENOSAD nods and enters the car. To his bewilderment, there are cups of coffee set up across the dashboard with a Macintosh Portable sitting in the center. LLILLILLL immediately speeds off, with the camera tilting up to show the name of the highway they've driven onto: "Agora Road." CUT back to GENOSAD and LLILLILLL in the car, where GENOSAD picks up one cup in each hand to examine their contents.]

GENOSAD: Jesus, you've turned your whole car into Agora Road's Macintosh Cafe!

 

[nobo]

[NUSER enters the car]

NUSER: hello

[GENO and LLILLILLL look up breifly, but appear to be busy]

LLILLILLL: uh, welcome

GENOSAD: uh, hey nuser

NUSER: tho these are l efforts, i did them as meme/neoprotovapor (or not and i am in point of self-irony for sake of hiding emberassment...)

[NUSER takes the AUX and puts on a song from YouTube]

PUNP: Porc, is that you?

NUSER: No. also, calling this genre "zoomerwave/zilleniwave" unless it might be anything-but what you, than me, would have in mind under that (term)