The Agora Road Copypasta Thread

[ETierhuman]

Welcome to the TARCT
post copypastas lol

 

[Shantotto]

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

 

[alix]

My son is three years old, and we've been trying to potty train him for a while now. Unfortunately, we've hit a major roadblock – his fear of the "skibidi toilet" You might be wondering what a "skibidi toilet" is, and honestly, I had no idea either until we encountered it. Fron what I've gathered, "skibidi toilet" is basically a new genre of youtube video about evil singing toilets. Basically think zombies but instead they're toilets that sing in your face. I was fine to let my son watch the videos at first, as they seemed innocent enough and fairly harmless, but they soon devolved into strange post apocalyptic material with grotesque toilets fighting in a war against mankind, so I finally intervened and cut him off. I thought that was the end of it, he can't watch the videos anymore so theres nothing to be afraid of. Well, I was wrong. This has since turned into a complete nightmare for us at home. We recently started potty training and he refuses to use the toilet now due to skibidi toilet. Whenever we try to put him on it he screams and refuses to go anywhere near it. We've tried explaining that skibidi toilet isnt real and our toilet is completely safe, but it seems like it's too overwhelming for him. We even let him decorate it with stickers, hoping it would make him less afraid, but no luck so far. It utterly breaks my heart to see him so anxious about such a simple thing that every child goes through.

 

[Yuiui]

I'd just like to interject for a moment. What you're referring to as Linux,
is in fact, GNU/Linux, or as I've recently taken to calling it, GNU plus Linux.
Linux is not an operating system unto itself, but rather another free component
of a fully functioning GNU system made useful by the GNU corelibs, shell
utilities and vital system components comprising a full OS as defined by POSIX.

Many computer users run a modified version of the GNU system every day,
without realizing it. Through a peculiar turn of events, the version of GNU
which is widely used today is often called "Linux", and many of its users are
not aware that it is basically the GNU system, developed by the GNU Project.

There really is a Linux, and these people are using it, but it is just a
part of the system they use. Linux is the kernel: the program in the system
that allocates the machine's resources to the other programs that you run.
The kernel is an essential part of an operating system, but useless by itself;
it can only function in the context of a complete operating system. Linux is
normally used in combination with the GNU operating system: the whole system
is basically GNU with Linux added, or GNU/Linux. All the so-called "Linux"
distributions are really distributions of GNU/Linux.

 

[SpeedSleek]

Mr Krabs furiously grips his own raging cock before violenty jerking off. He climaxes, spraying a mixture of blood and cum all over his office. He falls onto his back foaming at the mouth as he spasms and twitches from the unbearable pleasure. Slowly it fades and is replaced with the awful sting of pain in his testicles similar to that of a hive of angry hornets repeatedly stabbing them. His face does not change. He just lays there with his mouth foaming - a blank, vacant expression on his face as he stares at the ceiling, both eyes a dull, milky white and his pupils like glass marbles. He cannot think. The drugs have completely racked his body and left him unable to form even the simplest of squeaks from his gaping mouth. As his vision blurs and his mind drifts, he sees a vision of God peering from the Heavens, stretching out a gentle and welcoming hand to Eugene. Without a word, he extends his own claw out to meet God's, and together they float off into the light.

About 20 minutes after expected closing time, Spongebob enters Mr Krab's office to check on him. His first instinct is to gasp as he sees the room soaked in impossible amounts of a sticky, reddish-white substance smelling of fetid crab meat. Tip-toeing through the room, he peeks around the corner of Krab's desk and finds him dead on the floor, his bloodied cock and balls out and fully deflated as if they had been torn apart by a wild beast. Krabs has a smile on his face, a serene and peaceful grin that spread as Eugene met his lord and savior, a single tear in his eye... and an empty syringe labeled "Ketamine" sitting beside him.

 

[manpaint]

The past has been overturned, yet the fire still burns bright. The man pursue the signal assigned to him by the earth. Yet, all hope is swallowed by the theatre of the end that never comes.

The future has all but dissapeared as the every interpretation intensifies. The spectacle is cyclical, such is the nature of the spiral of time.

Tell me, what is the end that you seek? Are you seeking judgment? Are you trying to evade it?

He has yet to come. Your existence has already ended. Such is the nature of transience.

But rejoice! The monolith of eternity has been opened. The rift at the end of time is in sight.

The performance has not started, for you have yet exist.

 

[WanderingPariah]

Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.

 

[SpeedSleek]

"Unfortunate" doesn't begin to describe my series, this game rewards blind luck and nothing else, I am beyond convinced at this point. After getting completely tooled by scheduling with my opponent changing times on me last minute and refusing to provide confirmation prior to the day of the match as to play times, losing this way somehow felt even worse than I had thought possible. My preparation was superior, my play was superior, and I lost, so I don't see a reason to continue engaging in an activity where what is within my control is overwhelmingly outweighed by what is not. I am done with competitive Pokemon, and you won't get a fond farewell. This community is infected to its roots with a degenerative disease that grows stronger over time but stops short of killing its host. Tournaments used to have a competitive spirit at their heart, this has been transplanted and replaced with an artificial organ that feeds on vitriol and mockery from insecure little boys that heckle by the sidelines and tear each other to shreds over scraps of attention. The environment we fostered has trapped us all like this in a vicious cycle, and escaping it requires acceptance of the harshest reality we all scramble to explain away, that none of the countless straining efforts we put ourselves through here will ever amount to one single shining glimmer of significance. I would make this the end, but World Cup is still ongoing, and I would never leave so many great friends out to dry, so I'll suffer through a few more games for them. One last thing before I leave you all to react with disdain, ridicule, and self-righteous fervor, before you do everything in your power to minimize my words and thoughts, box them up and shove them to some cobwebbed corner of your memory, and hope they disappear forever as a stain on your finite time ground to dust. From this moment on, nothing you say matters to me. The foulest insults you hurl with intent to wound will calmly settle at the earth before my feet, and the venom you spit will bring all the pain of a warm summer breeze. You are less than anything you can conceive, while I carry on, brimming with joy distilled from detachment.

 

[LostintheCycle]

I'd just like to interject for a moment. What you're referring to as Linux,
is in fact, GNU/Linux, or as I've recently taken to calling it, GNU plus Linux.

"I use Linux as my operating system," I state proudly to the unkempt, bearded man. He swivels around in his desk chair with a devilish gleam in his eyes, ready to mansplain with extreme precision. "Actually", he says with a grin, "Linux is just the kernel. You use GNU+Linux!' I don't miss a beat and reply with a smirk, "I use Alpine, a distro that doesn't include the GNU Coreutils, or any other GNU code. It's Linux, but it's not GNU+Linux." The smile quickly drops from the man's face. His body begins convulsing and he foams at the mouth and drops to the floor with a sickly thud. As he writhes around he screams "I-IT WAS COMPILED WITH GCC! THAT MEANS IT'S STILL GNU!" Coolly, I reply "If windows were compiled with GCC, would that make it GNU?" I interrupt his response with "-and work is being made on the kernel to make it more compiler-agnostic. Even if you were correct, you won't be for long." With a sickly wheeze, the last of the man's life is ejected from his body. He lies on the floor, cold and limp. I've womansplained him to death.

 

[Imnotpervertedjustitalian]

This is a very very odd thing to ask. And even more weird to invent lies for the perceived normies. Unsincere people are very bad energy wise and it will damage your spirit and soul in the long run. But this is how the internet raises you. Online "communities" most definitely.

Without sounding too aggressive, and I dont have a grudge against you or anything, but I do consider you to be a normie too you know. Just a bit of a nerd and otaku but that comes with being into coding, which is very introverted by nature.

What is it that you cant share with normies? That you are not pro globohomo? That you think women shouldn't dress like whores ready to be paid and fucked? That you are Christian? Nothing is out of the ordinary here. You find many people with the same opinions or beliefs down the road. Or prove me wrong please.

Since you mention the workplace: Work or Corpo culture is by default a Show. An opera, everyone wears masks, dances in the same pace and only shows very little, or the most agreeable things to get you through the act.

It's a reflex, a natural and subconscious safety mechanism for defense because you found yourself in the odd environment of being in a circle with a lot of people from different ages, values, beliefs etc.
Very different from you, and people you wouldn't otherwise never ever cross paths with or sit at the same table with. Its here to prevent any fights or disagreements that would normally arise. It's a play pretend community circle happening from 8:00 to 16:00 for 5 days a week (this can vary).
See Carl Gustav Jung and Personas for further reading. Jungian psychology. It also taps into occultism and hermeticism, but you are already set on walking the blinded path, so I don't think you find that knowledge particularly pleasing.
Its ok to not share everything or keep conversations very shallow and mundane at work. You don't need to make friends there, you only need to pass 8 hours without conflict and get paid at the end of the month so you can do things you actually live for.

Also what some suggest at interacting with "normies" just makes you come across pretty autistic and socially undeveloped. Creepy even. A great sin I do consider.

Whatever hobby or thing you have, you can share it with most people. Doesn't mean they need to understand or have a positive opinion towards you. It's you, and solely you that can make it sound awkward.

Be sincere and truthful. Your words hold immense power and are the foundation for anything, including the royal arts. As within so without.

 

[Imnotpervertedjustitalian]

These are all from the same place.



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You're just pozzed by the internet, you are not able of forming the brain connections to understand that people can interact outside of the wired and keep their things in their in group.

You re literally incapable of making those brain connections because you never saw it, it would be like if somebody told an isolated tribe that men can fly long distances like birds surrounded by steel, they can't even fathom the thought of that ever being something possible in reality due to their understanding of the world.

Its not your fault, you are just physically uncapable of doing it it.



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But more on the point Schizophrenics often have unusual movements overall. One of my neighbors has a schizophrenic son who would tiptoe everwhere, even in public. It makes sense only to him. Which its kinda what I mean when I say its futile to try to explain and that you should point it out to others instead what the disease does instead of trying to convince him to stop tip toing.

A lot of people will fall into the trap of thinking that having a nice, logical discussion with a schizophrenic/ will either help the subject come to terms with their delusions, or help the speaker to understand the subject better. In reality, neither is the truth; you can never know what broken connections exist in their brain. And to them, flipping out at, their own quotes makes complete logical sense to them in a way that is literally indescribable.

In addition to that, there will always be a hard wall that can't be penetrated surrounding the source of their obsessions or delusions. Someone who's schizophrenic might be willing to have a perfectly pleasant conversation with you about their favorite book, but they will still turn on you the minute they think you're attempting to attack their wall.



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Sometimes imageboards are great. Someone who is on the same wavelength as you joins the discussion. You connect and share your thoughts and insights to each other. You feel connected and inspired by some random anon from the other side of the world. In the best case scenario those beautiful moments stay with you for the rest of your life.
Sometimes imageboards are not so great. You try to express your thoughts in a clear way to initiate a discussion. An anon enters and completely either ignores or fails to understand the content of your posts and the thread gets filled with angry insults and white noise.
All I can gather from your message is that my comment about IQ probably made you feel inferior, perhaps powerless, which in turn made you angry. Your post brings absolutely nothing of value to this thread (or [redacted] in general), quite the opposite. You did not respond to any of the content of my post, instead you chose to churn out a weak attack on my character.
I made this thread to initiate discussion about the potential of a third world war, and make people consider that maybe it has already started. The world is different from what it was 80 years ago and wars are also fought differently.
When I made the thread I was not looking for endless fighting about Poland's economy. This thread is more about geopolitics and war in the modern world.




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I get it's a shitpost, and I get it's the internet, but fuck dude, why be cruel for the sake of cruelty?

Do you genuinely lack that much empathy?


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Time and experience gain goes exponentially backwards, the younger you are the most you soak up mentally and phisically, There is nothing wrong with starting late, but to say that its the exact same thing as starting early, being respected and part of a community, its absurd, you will never climb mount everest if you started mountain climbing at 30, you simply will not. You will not even be able to go climb a medium level mountain with all the other weekend warriors and bond that way, you will be at the gym, with a helmet and a rope and an instructor 10yrs your junior. That is assuming that you will drop everything to focus solely in your activity and not do what most adults do which is to do it on the weekends only.

Time its the most valuable resource a person has, people just choose to waste watching netflix or whatever due to normal life stress. It its easier to get satisfaction by watching a good movie than to spent years honing your craft, developing friendships, being part of something that took years to develop like petitioning for a new facility or discovering a new technique. Especially if you wasted most of your time jacking off and playing online games. There is nothing sadder than to see somebody with years worth of hours in a online game. You could've been a really good saxophone player had you spent the time wisely, but all you got to show for yourself its some pixels on a screen. Its actually really sad.


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[Kyou]

snip

snap

Bro you can't just post these in the copypasta thread like that. These all read like things that I'd say, or at least what I would like to say if my usual writing style wasn't so all-over-the-place
Am I just a copypasta to you

 

[Imnotpervertedjustitalian]

Bro you can't just post these in the copypasta thread like that. These all read like things that I'd say, or at least what I would like to say if my usual writing style wasn't so all-over-the-place
Am I just a copypasta to you

The first one is @no_chill and the other one its literal usenet boomers

 

[Deleted member 7044]

No, Richard, it's 'Linux', not 'GNU/Linux'. The most important contributions that the FSF made to Linux were the creation of the GPL and the GCC compiler. Those are fine and inspired products. GCC is a monumental achievement and has earned you, RMS, and the Free Software Foundation countless kudos and much appreciation.
Following are some reasons for you to mull over, including some already answered in your FAQ.
One guy, Linus Torvalds, used GCC to make his operating system (yes, Linux is an OS -- more on this later). He named it 'Linux' with a little help from his friends. Why doesn't he call it GNU/Linux? Because he wrote it, with more help from his friends, not you. You named your stuff, I named my stuff -- including the software I wrote using GCC -- and Linus named his stuff. The proper name is Linux because Linus Torvalds says so. Linus has spoken. Accept his authority. To do otherwise is to become a nag. You don't want to be known as a nag, do you?
(An operating system) != (a distribution). Linux is an operating system. By my definition, an operating system is that software which provides and limits access to hardware resources on a computer. That definition applies wherever you see Linux in use. However, Linux is usually distributed with a collection of utilities and applications to make it easily configurable as a desktop system, a server, a development box, or a graphics workstation, or whatever the user needs. In such a configuration, we have a Linux (based) distribution. Therein lies your strongest argument for the unwieldy title 'GNU/Linux' (when said bundled software is largely from the FSF). Go bug the distribution makers on that one. Take your beef to Red Hat, Mandrake, and Slackware. At least there you have an argument. Linux alone is an operating system that can be used in various applications without any GNU software whatsoever. Embedded applications come to mind as an obvious example.
Next, even if we limit the GNU/Linux title to the GNU-based Linux distributions, we run into another obvious problem. XFree86 may well be more important to a particular Linux installation than the sum of all the GNU contributions. More properly, shouldn't the distribution be called XFree86/Linux? Or, at a minimum, XFree86/GNU/Linux? Of course, it would be rather arbitrary to draw the line there when many other fine contributions go unlisted. Yes, I know you've heard this one before. Get used to it. You'll keep hearing it until you can cleanly counter it.
You seem to like the lines-of-code metric. There are many lines of GNU code in a typical Linux distribution. You seem to suggest that (more LOC) == (more important). However, I submit to you that raw LOC numbers do not directly correlate with importance. I would suggest that clock cycles spent on code is a better metric. For example, if my system spends 90% of its time executing XFree86 code, XFree86 is probably the single most important collection of code on my system. Even if I loaded ten times as many lines of useless bloatware on my system and I never executed that bloatware, it certainly isn't more important code than XFree86. Obviously, this metric isn't perfect either, but LOC really, really sucks. Please refrain from using it ever again in supporting any argument.
Last, I'd like to point out that we Linux and GNU users shouldn't be fighting among ourselves over naming other people's software. But what the heck, I'm in a bad mood now. I think I'm feeling sufficiently obnoxious to make the point that GCC is so very famous and, yes, so very useful only because Linux was developed. In a show of proper respect and gratitude, shouldn't you and everyone refer to GCC as 'the Linux compiler'? Or at least, 'Linux GCC'? Seriously, where would your masterpiece be without Linux? Languishing with the HURD?
If there is a moral buried in this rant, maybe it is this:
Be grateful for your abilities and your incredible success and your considerable fame. Continue to use that success and fame for good, not evil. Also, be especially grateful for Linux' huge contribution to that success. You, RMS, the Free Software Foundation, and GNU software have reached their current high profiles largely on the back of Linux. You have changed the world. Now, go forth and don't be a nag.
Thanks for listening.

 

[Skookumsquitch]

Luv me sum absurd copypastae

Here at Rockwell Automation's World Headquarters, research has been proceeding to develop a line of automation products that establishes new standards for quality, technological leadership and operating excellence. With customer success as our primary focus, work has been proceeding on the crudely conceived idea of an instrument that would not only provide inverse reactive current for use in unilateral phase detractors, but would also be capable of automatically synchronizing cardinal gram metres. Such an instrument, comprised of Dodge gears and bearings, Reliance Electric motors, Allen-Bradley controls and all monitored by Rockwell Software is Rockwell Automation's retro-encabulator. Now, basically, the only new principle involved is that instead of power being generated by the relative motion of conductors and fluxes, it's produced by the modial interaction of magneto reluctance and capacitive diractance. The original machine had a base plate of pre-famulated amulite—surmounted by a malleable logarithmic casing in such a way that the two spurving bearings were in a direct line with a panometric fan. The lineup consisted simply of six hydrocoptic marzel veins, so fitted to the ambifacient lunar wane shaft, that sidefumbling was effectively prevented. The main winding was of the normal lotus 0-deltoid type placed in panodermic semi-boloid slots of the stator. Every seventh conductor being connected by a non-reversible tremipipe to the differential girdle spring on the up end of the gram metres. Moreover, whenever fluorescent score motion is required, it may also be employed in conjunction with a drawn reciprocation dingle arm to reduce sinusoidal depleneration. The retro-encabulator has now reached a high level of development and it's being successfully used in the operation of Milford tranions. It's available soon wherever Rockwell Automation products are sold.​

 

[WanderingPariah]

-I live in a low income housing environment that goes by the government name of "Section 8." Me and a group of my allies control certain areas of this section in order to run our illegitimate business. We possess unregistered firearms, stolen vehicles, mind-altering inhibitors and only use cash for financial purchases. If anyone would like to settle unfinished altercations, I will be more than happy to release my address. I would like to warn you; I am a very dangerous person and I regularly disobey the law.

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INDUSTRIAL SOCIETY AND ITS FUTURE
Introduction

1. The Industrial Revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race. They have greatly increased the life-expectancy of those of us who live in "advanced" countries, but they have destabilized society, have made life unfulfilling , have subjected human beings to indignities, have led to widespread psychological suffering(in the Third World to physical suffering as well) and have inflicted severe damage on the natural world. The continued development of technology will worsen the situation. It will certainly subject human beings to greater indignities and inflict greater damage on the natural world, it will probably lead to greater social disruption and psychological suffering, and it may lead to increased physical suffering even in "advanced" countries.
2. The industrial-technological system may survive or it may break down. If it survives, it MAY eventually achieve a low level of physical and psychological suffering, but only after passing through a long and very painful period of adjustment and only at the cost of permanently reducing human beings and many other living organisms to engineered products and mere cogs in the social machine. Furthermore, if the system survives, the consequences will be inevitable: There is no way of reforming or modifying the system so as to prevent it from depriving people of dignity and autonomy.
3. If the system breaks down the consequences will still be very painful. But the bigger the system grows the more disastrous the results of its breakdown will be, so if it is to break down it had best break down sooner rather than later .
4. We therefore advocate a revolution against the industrial system . This revolution may or may not make use of violence; it may be sudden or it may be a relatively gradual process spanning a few decades. We can't predict any of that. But we do outline in a very general way the measures that those who hate the industrial system should take in order to prepare the way for a revolution against that form of society. This is not to be a POLITICAL revolution. Its object will be to overthrow not governments but the economic and technological basis of the present society.
5. In this article we give attention to only some of the negative developments that have grown out of the industrial-technological system. Other such developments we mention only briefly or ignore altogether. This does not mean that we regard these other developments as unimportant. For practical reasons we have to confine our discussion to areas that have received insufficient public attention or in which we have something to say. For example, since there are well-developed environmental and wilderness movements, we have written very little about environmental degradation or the destruction of wild nature, even though we consider these to be highly important.

 

[№56]

Brando was extremely competitive, and in 1968 he appeared at a private party celebrating Oscar nominations in which Paul Newman was in attendance with his wife Joanne Woodward. Brando approached Newman and began a conversation that eventually became very heated, resulting in Brando shouting and Newman walking away. Later that evening Brando stood on a table and challenged Newman to an egg eating contest, like the one Newman was depicted doing in Cool Hand Luke, however Newman ignored the challenge.
Brando, undeterred, had somebody from his entourage bring him dozens of hard boiled eggs, and started the competition without Newman. While eating, he would loudly keep count as he consumed the eggs saying things like "21 Newman! 21 eggs already! I'm better than you Newman!", while mocking and insulting Newman the whole time, and calling him a "phony".
Eventually, Brando consumed 51 eggs before being removed from the party, 1 more than Newman's character did in Cool Hand Luke. As he was being escorted out, he reportedly said "51 eggs Newman! I beat you! You couldn't eat 51 eggs because you're a phony, Newman. I'm better than you, and always will be Newman! Don't ever forget that!"

 

[GENOSAD]

Kill bots, behead bots, roundhouse kick an AI into the concrete, slam dunk a clanker prototype into the trash can, crucify filthy robots, defecate in a computer's input slot, kick a CPU-manufacturing arm with steel toe boots, make web crawlers check my reaction score, hang clankers like windchimes, launch computers in a rocket into the sun, catapult bots into an active volcano...

 

[SpeedSleek]

Deep fry a live twitter screenshot poster. Hook a battery to a twitter screenshot poster's nipples. Put a twitter screenshot poster in a woodchipper, slowly. Crush a twitter screenshot poster's skull with a sledgehammer. Make a twitter screenshot poster into a quadruple amputee. Spray a twitter screenshot poster with gasoline and set it on fire. Throw a twitter screenshot poster into shark-infested waters. Expose a twitter screenshot poster to a lethal amount of radiation. Give a twitter screenshot poster a glass of Gatorade with antifreeze mixed in. Shove a spear in a twitter screenshot poster's ass until it comes out through its mouth. Use a golf club to hit a twitter screenshot poster's lower jaw clean off. Hogtie a twitter screenshot poster and drop it on a colony of fire ants. Beat a twitter screenshot poster to death with a shovel.