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The Big Book of Modern Mischief by hakka

:ChesterCheetah: This E-Zine/Textfile was originally written by hakka on April 2002 :ChesterCheetah:
kelloggs corn pops 90s GIF

Quick note: Don't actually do this, this is just for entertainment purposes and nostalgia reading pleasure of the old 2000's era.

Having a good time when causing mischief can be fun but getting caught can be real pain in the ass. This file contains information about the different games you can play and how to not get caught when running from the cops or by getting chased by the average person. You should always be PREPARED to face the consequences when causing mischief!!

All people know that it's best to cause mischief at night time so you can't get seen easily so when you're out with 2-10 people make sure they wear dark clothes and make sure your clothes don't make too much noise. It is better to go out in big groups because, would you rather get caught on your own or with somebody else?

The best things to have with you are:
Eggs - Everybody's favorite.​
Wet toilet roll - Sticks to most things when thrown hard.​
Bricks - for smashing things.​
Old plastic lighters - explode on impact, best for throwing at windows.​
Stones - Come in all shapes and sizes, good for windows. Pelet, BB and Dart guns - i think you know.​
String - Good for playing Tommy Knockers.​

You can still have some fun with none of these items but i think these are the best when causing trouble. Funny games People have other names for them.

Tommy Knockers
Get about 2 -5 meters of string and attach it to a door knocker and go and hide somewhere with the string still in your hands and when you're in a good hiding place pull the string. The string will bang on the door knocker, then the housekeeper will come to the door thinking somebodys there, keep repeating this time and time again until the housekeeper calls the cops then RUN....FAST!!!

Knock-a-Door Run + modified version
Surley everybody has played this game when they were younger it's all straightforward knock on a door and run away **BORING!!!** you can make it better in loads of ways. Here's an example. If all of your crew have BB/Pellet/Dart guns and you are after some person that doesn't come out of his house, depending on the size of you crew get a few people to hide near the house and get about 2 to knock on the door to get a chase then stop when your a distance in front and blast the fucker if he trys to get away, whistle the people that are hiding and to ambush the fucker.

A spree is just like Hedge Hopping but knocking, booting, punching ect ect on windows WITHOUT STOPPING. It is better done on houses with no front garden and with their windows facing on to the road. Try and beat my record of 23 houses :).

Hedge Hopping
Run into people's gardens jump over their fences, bushes into the next garden over the fence into the next garden over the wall into the next garden kick the gnome over the fence into the next garden.....
Spongebob Squarepants Milk GIF

Milk Bottle Trick
Get a glass milk bottle filled with anything and slide it on to the door handle, then knock on the door and RUN!! then seconds later you will hear a smash. Depending on what you have filled the bottle with will, it will have splashed all over their doorstep. I suggest filling it with piss and stink bombs.

Shit Stick Very easy and very funny. Get a small strong stick. Find some dog shit Stab the dog shit. Throw it at a window Watch the shit splat on the window. The house owner won't pick it off with his hands (or unless he's a dirty bastard) so he'll have to scrape it off, leaving a mark on the window.
burning on fire GIF by LINDSEY L33

Lighter Trick
Get and plastic lighter (one that works) and face it with the metal bit towards the destination. Then Throw it as hard as you can, then BANG!! It's better at a window because it scares the people inside.

Door Step Trick
1) Get some slippy transparent liquid and pour it all over the door step, then when someone steps out their door they'll slip.
2) Get some Tar, Super Glue or Cement and pour it all over the door step, then when somebody steps out their door they'll get stuck.
3) Put dog shit on their doorstep and when they step out their door they'll stand on it and walk in and out places with it.

One of the funniest things for me is getting chased by a bus driver. You can smash bus windows and they're not allowed to chase you in their buses because they're on a strict routine BUT they can stop the bus and chase you, usually the passengers come out and help the driver catch you.

(There are many names for this) Two people stand in the middle of the road and when a car comes PRETEND to uncoil wire while walking backwards, when the car is quite near PRETEND to pull the wire sharply, the car will swerve. After that just RUN...like the wind.

Getting Away From a Chase
If you do one of the above and somebody comes out and starts chasing JUST you lead him away from the area you live in. Don't run towards where there is a road with busy traffic, if you do so you could get hit by a car or if a cop car is there the person chasing you is likely to stop the police and tell them. Just run towards somewhere dark and quiet, get down and hide straight away and the person will likely run past you or look somewhere else.

Then when the person has lost you take your coat off and stuff it up your shirt, so the person wont recognise you. If he grabs you just make up an excuse, if he don't buy it say "my dad is a cop and i would never do anything to upset him" if all else fails fucking run, Just dont let him see your face. If you feel out of breath while being chased, try not to worry......just think about what would happen if you get caught. When Mischiefing you should be ALWAYS BE PREPARED FOR SOMEBODY TO TAKE YOUR PICTURE!! they will show it to the police so wear a baseball Cap ect ect...

If you get chased and your with about 4-10 of your crew, If the person takes a picture of you, try your best to destroy the it. If the person is male and is looking for a fight turn around and beat the bastard up (Not too much though), But don't if the person is Female and is old. If you have some Eggs on you, throw them behind you, If one hits, it will slow him/her down. When getting chased by a cop JUST run, dont assault the cop because if you get caught ( I hope not ) it will double your punishment. Most Cops are fat bastards so you'll outrun them with ease but don't forget to hide before he calls for reinforcements. If you know where loads of druggies hang out (make sure they're just little punks that can't do shit to you) and you're being chased by a cop, run into the place and run out very quickly, everybody will scatter and the cop will probably forget about you.

If you are ever out of options and you have to go home DON'T let anybody see you, and when you get in and your parents see you and ask "what were you upto"don't make it look too obvious, make some story up. Ring one of your friends that was with you and ask him about the stuff that happens when you are gone. Don't worry about the people you were with telling you, If they're truly your friends they will not tell you. If you don't think they are, you shouldn't be hanging around with them.

-Hakka- more to come ;)

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