/b/, I have a story
It appears a stupid prank amongst co-workers gradually grew until my dumb idea for a joke caused a person to go insane, an attempted suicide, and nearly killed a completely innocent, oblivious pregnant woman.
I'm going to tell this story, and for those of you interested, put on your reading glasses, it's a doozy.
>work at a Menards
>be a stocker, my time slot has a group of seven stockers
>one of these stockers is named Ken
>Ken is sort of a cunt, really isolated, snarky, plays by the rules and rats people out to the managers even though the managers don't give a shit about anything
>another one of these stockers is named Deb
>Deb is engaged because she got knocked up
>I'm friends with three of the stockers, we hang out after work, get high together, get into all sorts of hijinks
>one night we get super high and watch the Adjustment Bureau
>discussing conspiracy theories after the movie for hours
>I come up with a fun idea:
>"What if we, just, like, kept sneaking some message to some random person until they went nuts?"
>we discussed it for hours, coming up with dumb shit and giggling like retards
>next day we're driving to work
>one of my friends comes up with the idea
>"Hey, guys. We should totally do that subliminal messaging shit to Ken"
>we all agree
>but what message?
>"We should just keep sneaking in killing Deb into conversations. Like, if we're talking to each other around him, somebody just mention it and if he notices pretend like it's nothing."
>We begin that day
>Every time we're by him and talking, somebody sneaks in some quick blurt of "so when are they killing Deb?" or something stupid
>at first we keep snickering when we do it and Ken doesn't catch on, but after a few days it's already just a part of work
>we instinctively sneak it in to as many things as possible
>two weeks into this process we sneak one in as Ken walks by
>but another coworker was stocking right by us
>as soon as we sneak in the "so when's Deb getting murdered?" our coworker laughs and asks what the fuck we said
>let them in on the joke
>that coworker tells other coworkers
>eventually everybody in our department is in on the joke except for Ken and Deb
>even the fucking managers sneak it in when talking to us
>this goes on like clockwork for a month
>Ken starts getting weirded out, notices when it comes up but says nothing
>one day I walk to go use the bathroom
>I'm in another department, other side of the store, Ken is nowhere in sight
>hear somebody say "Yeah, and then after you empty this pallet, we've got to work on the Deb killing."
>wut.jpeg
>the whole fucking store is in on this
>there are hundreds of workers in this store
>people just casually sneak in the Deb murder lines everywhere throughout the store
>even on days ken isn't working
>What the fuck have I done?
>the joke starts to grow beyond my control
>I hear casual references to Deb's baby being the spawn of the devil
>we need to kill Deb before the portal to hell is completed
>this goes on for another month
>Deb's pregnancy is starting to show
>one day I get a phone call at midnight
>Don't recognize the phone number
>"Uh, who is this?"
>"It's Deb from Menards. Are you friends with Ken?"
>"Uh, not really, why?"
>Ken called her freaking out about her baby
>Ken doesn't come to work for a week
>walk into Menards one day
>there is a bulletin board in the conference room
>somebody has put up a chicken scratch note saying "baby-devil, kill it"
>the fuck is going on?
>when Ken comes back he's noticeably psychotic
>he's lost tons of weight, stutters, darts his eyes everywhere, and keeps writing in a little notebook he keeps with him
>keep seeing him staring at Deb, Deb avoids him like the plague
>one day I find his notebook left at our computer desk
>look around to make sure he's not anywhere to be seen
>open it
>he's been writing down names of people, sentences about Deb, trying to put together the story about the baby
>oh_shit.gif
It gets worse
>one day at work, I'm talking with my coworkers, and Ken comes up to me
>coworker tries to slip in a Deb line, stop him
>"What's up, Ken?"
>"I need to talk to you, it's important."
>he makes me go all the way to our conference room on the other side of the building
>asks me how well I know Deb
>"Not very well"
>"I think something's going on. Either she's in grave danger, or she's very dangerous."
>i'm not even laughing, i'm legitimately frightened
>"Last Tuesday at eight forty seven you said the baby's gonna be the key to the portal,' did you not?"
>I remember the exact date and time because of what happens next:
>"Uh, I don't think, I did Ken"
>"Here," he handed me a sheet from his notebook
>he wrote down every date and time he heard me say anything about Deb or babies
>and some of them almost definitely did not happen
>one said "December 12th, 9:16, 'We have to empty its blood or it will bring the end days"
> did not work that day and DEFINITELY never said anything like that
>What the fuck is happening?
>I tell Ken he should get some help
>he refuses and tells me I can't tell anyone
>i tell my coworkers and they think it's hilarious
>i'm seriously horrified about this
>debate whether or not I should tell Deb
>decide against it
>try to stop as many people from continuing the whole joke
>it's unstoppable
>i have no control anymore
>the joke has grown into a whole conspiracy
>one day Ken is running around looking for his notebook
>he cannot find it anywhere
>that night I find out somebody from electrical stole it and sent an email with some of the important information Ken wrote down
>people began to plan so that Ken's prophecies would come true
>eventually somebody came to work in a black shroud and kept walking around aisles near Ken
>Ken kept seeing him in his periphery
>apparently, Ken wrote about a black shrouded figure destroying the baby
>Ken goes home sick
Shit's about to get real
>be this week
>Ken has December 31st through January 2nd off
>he comes in the second
>buys a few things
>hangs around our desk and just acts creepy
>ask him if he's okay, says "I've been better," and won't say anything else after that
>today neither Deb nor Ken came to work
>they were both supposed to
>a worker from millwork runs over to me
>"Dude, Ken fucking went crazy."
>well, yeah, he had been crazy since this thing started
>"What happened?"
>"He tried to kill Deb. He broke into her house with a hunting knife and tried to stab her stomach but her fiancee beat his ass. He slit his wrists on their lawn. He's in the hospital."
> oh fuck me
Deb quit and is pressing charges and filing for a restraining order, she and her fiancee are moving. Ken is no longer working at Menards and is facing serious felony charges. Apparently he didn't cut his wrists too deep and is making a full recovering, physically I feel badly. I wish I could confess and take some blame for this, but how? What the fuck would I even say?
(in the case i will probably document everything)
