The Minecraft Movie

[abraKadabra]

I was about to say that the sole idea of a corporation making a high-budget movie based on a sandbox game without any clear storyline sounds like an unfunny joke and shouldn't be exercised at all, but then I remembered how in 2016 Sony made Lego Movie and it was pretty cool. So I guess it just depends on how much the company gives a fuck about the source material (spoiler: 90% of the times it doesn't). Also, I have a feeling that around 2020-21 we've crossed the symbolic red line, before which big companies could theoretically do something good in the field of children entertainment. COVID pandemic and TikTok popularity have both hit the Hollywood movie industry really hard, shifting it towards shitty digital screens and epileptic montage for kids with decreased attention span, and I highly doubt that it'll ever be able to fully recover. As movies now have to compete with Internet videos , that are made for a fraction of a cost/time required to make a decent film, companies are simply turning movies into long Internet videos, but without any creativity or human factor involved. All the risks and revenue was calculated beforehand, hence the corporate decision was made to vandalise another good game - it's as simple as that. And you just wait when AI becomes powerful enough to replace 90% of the movie staff, including the director, the screenwriter and the cast.

Shame on you, Jared Hess, your Naploeon Dynamite was one of the best movies ever made.

 

[Pluto]

People make such a big deal out of this.
I mean, yes. It looks like absolute dogshit. Not a Real Movie. But what doesn't these days?

That said, who the fuck is still a Jack Black 'fan' in 2024? Have there ever been Jack Black fans? He's a decent voice actor; he has that really loud and annoying presence, which I think he leans into. But does anyone actually find him entertaining to watch?

 

[PraxHeadroom]

Just coming here to post the GOAT.

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kMH37fuBv50

 

[Pluto]

DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST CONSUME PRODUCT

 

[Orlando Smooth]

Have there ever been Jack Black fans?

15-20 years ago? Yeah. School of Rock era Jack Black was essentially a family friendly version of Chris Farley, which was pretty novel and funny at the time. His whole schtick hadn't been overdone yet, so people liked it. But it turns out that he, like many other "personality actors" (a term I just made up) of that era such as Will Ferrell, are really just one trick ponies that wear thin. But having connections in the industry and a willingness to do basically anything to make money means they'll keep being cast in movies forever.

Fun fact: Jack Black was one of many actors who had a one off role in The X Files (S03E03 aired Oct. 6, 1995) years before catching a big break. It's funny to see him so young and not exactly playing the type of character he became known for. His character is the dumb friend of an even dumber high schooler that has a tenuous control over lightning and REALLY wants to fuck his teacher.

 

[Jade]

The thing from the trailer that gets me is that the plot is the exact same one of Jumanji movie with Rock the Johnson Dwayne. Real actors and brats get transported to videogame world that they have to survive and escape while meeting person that got stuck there years before them and JackBlack was in both!

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2QKg5SZ_35I

wait a minute, isn't that also more or less the plot to Kong: Skill Island minus the videogame part? Is there an actual template script these writers are using?

 

[Jade]

You really think Hollywood would just do that? Copy their own homework like the last three times they did this?

Keep in mind this movie has to compete with over a decade of Youtube animated series, let's plays, machinimas that are all way more appealing, unique and better capture the essence of the game than whatever this is does, and that you can watch them all right now for free.

View: https://youtu.be/1P5LBw2fdAg?si=--BSt6yhlCf2gtyc


View: https://youtu.be/gZ9lNZrNhwQ?si=BooHcy4YbtY7Opk2


View: https://youtu.be/SBjkQvQv8CU?si=IQ7nSjJXLqEjNcYX


View: https://youtu.be/PuZR6VKfV88?si=Dr0FGlssyJ0lSvrn


View: https://youtu.be/anoO3K5vOEg?si=mJQbD-cwOHBU3VuS

There are also decade old fan made trailers that look better than this, believe it or not.
https://youtu.be/G-cT2Dh0my0?si=f0FK-qmHqg-u-k83
If this slop cashgrab doesn't flop I'll be shocked.

oh my god, siege on castle steve, what a blast from the past. I had honestly forgotten this existed but I used to watch it all the time.

 

[Z0diacK]

Your description of the movie have made me laugh so hard, this was awesome to read

 

[Jade]

more classic minecraft videos that are 100 times more entertaining and true to the spirit of minecraft than this movie will ever be

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6l9PuQl3kQ0


View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FVs6XgjCRWs

 

[4117Yuk1]

View: https://youtu.be/3AmFxVcfMYk?si=aMlhuOu4StB9k5_K

I bet this is what the Minecraft movie looks like, considering that WB took the original video down.
I would watch this (and any other Minecraft roleplay series on Youtube) over that dumpster fire.

 

[turntableToothache]

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8B1EtVPBSMw

Newest trailer released, this still looks legit awful, the villagers are nightmare fuel material. But they did bring us footage of a villager getting rammed by a car and screaming in pain

View: https://youtu.be/JnQ65aj7ut8?si=eSOCGx9N7q0ZrFoh

 

[4117Yuk1]

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8B1EtVPBSMw

Newest trailer released, this still looks legit awful, the villagers are nightmare fuel material. But they did bring us footage of a villager getting rammed by a car and screaming in pain

View: https://youtu.be/JnQ65aj7ut8?si=eSOCGx9N7q0ZrFoh

at least we have one good scene.
still it sucks.

 

[Jade]

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8B1EtVPBSMw

Newest trailer released, this still looks legit awful, the villagers are nightmare fuel material. But they did bring us footage of a villager getting rammed by a car and screaming in pain

View: https://youtu.be/JnQ65aj7ut8?si=eSOCGx9N7q0ZrFoh

Multi-Billion dollar conglomerate vs. one guy fresh out of college who earnestly enjoys making family-friendly videos:

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pFwQiwRbcg&t=3877s

 

[RojoUsagi122]

This movie feels like it's just made just because Hollywood is bored.

 

[turntableToothache]

This movie feels like it's just made just because Hollywood is bored.

"Bored" is an interesting way of saying "out of ideas"

 

[Obake]

Is there an actual template script these writers are using?

Maybe they used ChatGPT to make the basic scenario/outline.

 

[Endbringer fan xoxo]

The only good thing that came from this movie is the free weapon mod. They look good when you are fighting minotaurs in the twilight.

 

[Hara]

This movie's visuals genuinely feel like they were made off of AI concept art. The whole thing feels so soulless, which sucks cuz there are so many artists out there who are so passionate about Minecraft

 

[GENOSAD]

I can see why Hollywood writers hate ChatGPT so much, their work is practically indistinguishable.

To paraphrase Oney: "These writers suck, they should go on strike to get paid better."

 

[turntableToothache]

2013 called, they want their "Minecraft in the real" image shitposts back