aralsheart, Aral's heart. Аральское сердце.
Of course, this refers to the Aral sea between Kazakhstan and Uzbekistan. It's been drying up since the 1960s not just because of climate change, but because in the Soviet era the waters of its "mother rivers", Amu Darya and Syr Daria, were diverted to irrigate cotton fields. The saddest part is that the canals were leaky for the most part, so a lot of water was wasted in the process. Now the sea is pretty much dried up and full of toxic shit that ruins the health of the local populations on either side of the border. Thank you comrades...
I found a parallel with how I was at the time. I felt as if my heart was dry. I grew up fearing being considered "selfish" or "egotistical" and "diverted my water" to others, so to speak, because if I dared think of myself, it was apparently not normal, or it was "selfish", when the same people tell you to be yourself and think of yourself first. My heart would fill up at times, but then go back to being dry as a fuckin' desert. Interestingly enough also, "Aral" in Turkic and Mongolic languages means "island" or "archipelago", and I can say that as an introvert, especially one who can't get arsed doing the whole "getting to know you" round at the moment, it's comparable to being an island. On a funny note I later found out that the Aral sea did in fact have a heart shaped bit, although it's probably dried up by now. It happens all the time: I have a symbol or something else popping in my head, but then discover later that I had no idea how perfect it fits or how well it described what was going on at the time.
I'll keep this one for a long time, hopefully forever.