why are schools so unfair to kids with disabilities?

[internet_userr1]

About 2-3 days ago, I was on my usual bus on my way home. There were no seats left, and while I was standing- this old lady offered me a seat. I kindly accepted and said thankyou, and we ended up having a discussion.
She explained that she has a kid who's about to graduate in a couple weeks, and then she explained that her child had to move from 6 separate schools because she had a disability and all the school's prior did not accept her in (or if they did, they did not allow her to stay very long.) She explained that her daughter was graduating in just a couple of weeks, and that it was very hard for her because her daughter has had to move through six different schools because of her learning disability. In her previous elementary school, after just a year, they told her that they couldn't keep her daughter, and they had to start looking again.
The next school was a private institution that had promised a tailored approach. She thought they had finally found the right place, but the school became more interested in their reputation than actually helping kids like her daughter. When they cut their special education program, they were left scrambling once more. By the time they reached the 4th school, she was starting to feel defeated. After a few months, they learned that the school didn't have the staff to support her daughters specific needs... and once again, they had to move schools.
It was only until they reached the last school, (the 6th one) that they found a small, community-focused institution that prioritized individualized learning.

As I listened to her story, It actually pissed me off so much to see how often kids- especially kids with disabilities- are either overlooked or treated like they're a burden, but what makes me even more mad is how double sided schools can be when it comes to this bias that runs deep.

There was this girl in my old school, she had a disability, and as much as I hate to say this- she was a little bitch. I hated her. Everyone hated her. She was spoilt, a brat... and the teachers would just let her get away with anything and when I say anything I mean anything. This girl used to literally swing around grocery bags (I don't even know where she got them from) in peoples faces. She was loud, disruptive. If she was in any of your classes, you were absolutely clapped because she would never shut the fuck up and had all the teacher's attention. She had this ratchet ass ipad that she would spaff off on and ts was literally coated in her greasy ass fingerprints... could probably ruin da Vinci's career if you ask me. The only moments of bliss I ever experienced in that hellhole were when this girl finally slapped on her gigantic, circumaural headphones and decided to give her vocal cords a much-needed vacation.
We had camp once after COVID and this little bitch threw rocks at people and demanded them to have sex with her. After they said no, she threatened them and started chasing them. And she only got A WARNING. She did eventually kicked out on the 2nd day because she ran around the soccer/football courts with her shirt off and flashed like half our grade... but the fact that it took that long to get her kicked out was just insane. I pray for the people who were stuck on the same bus as her, because that ride was a good 3 hours.
The teachers let her get away with everything and it was plainly obvious she was using her disability as an excuse to do and say whatever she wanted- which brings me to my point:
I get the impression that teachers either treat kids with disabilities in one of two ways: 1. with extreme disrespect, neglect, and outright rudeness, or 2. they handle them with such leniency that it feels like they're immune to any consequences.

It just shocks me to my core how they can't find it in them to just treat these kids normally. It's like there's an assumption that kids with disabilities can't keep up or don't deserve the same attention as everyone else. That's just wrong. Just because a child learns differently doesn't mean they're any less capable. They deserve the same quality education as their peers, but the system often doesn't reflect that. I understand that sometimes, these kids need more help in the learning factor... which is why SPED classes {special education classes) exist. Meaning that when they do get put into regular classes, I see no need for teachers to be so obviously bias.
If a child with a disability is being disruptive and/or annoying... treat them like you would with any other kid who's being disruptive or annoying. Don't let them get away with it.
If a child with a disability is being a good student... treat them like you would with any other kid who's being a good student. Don't shower them in unnecessary praise.

Obviously, there's more issues like a lot of educators want to help, but many don't have the training to effectively support students with disabilities, and also, kids with disabilities also face bullying or exclusion, and it's disheartening to see schools not take this seriously. Most schools just ignore the problem, and I've seen it happen time and time again. It just feels like the system is more focused on maintaining the status quo than actually helping these kids succeed, and it pisses me off so much.

Anyways this was sort of a rant ig but has anyone had any similar experiences or thoughts on this? I'd love to know.

 

[Obake]

The education system in most developed countries is based on the Prussian model which was meant for preparing students for military service. It was adopted by most Western countries during the industrial revolution in order to prepare students to work in factories.

The goal of the education system is not what you might imagine it to be, and it's much easier for the schools to simply shuffle kids like these along instead of dedicating resources to helping them.

The reality is that nobody is normal, most people have some quirk about them. If the goal of the education system were to instill basic knowledge into children than ideally we would probably have a system that adapts to the common quirks of different children.

 

[RisingThumb]

I get the impression that teachers either treat kids with disabilities in one of two ways: 1. with extreme disrespect, neglect, and outright rudeness, or 2. they handle them with such leniency that it feels like they're immune to any consequences.

Regarding the latter, I didn't experience that. Regarding the former, I experienced that. Being deaf leaves you exposed to a lot more obvious disrespect and neglect. I had what was called an "FM System" which is basically a radio microphone that lets you speak into it, and me with a Cochlear implant, I could hear the teacher directly with it. Some teachers would leave the room and swear and vent frustrations and anger, or take other kids out of the room to punish them, which also meant I had all the unpleasantness of that, frequently.

As for neglect, I felt absolutely awful and despised my Spanish class and my Spanish teachers pretty much made it my problem, whenever I scored poorly on listening tests or in group listening and speaking tests, and it's like, yeah, I can't hear shit when you have a classroom of 30 obnoxious kids all talking over each other, and then I'd also have to explain to the other kids how being deaf works and what they'd need for me to understand them, which- wasn't actually that bad but probably because I was put in classes for kids with good grades, but I was disrespected enough by kids that I can easily extrapolate how much worse it was for other kids. There was another deaf child in my same year who was a transfer student from Poland who did poorly in that, and I'm pretty sure they had an outright miserable time. Plus they were a girl, and anyone who knows what women are like in school, they know they are literally the spawn of Satan.

It eventually lead to me being a loner, and I kept as distant as possible from school and most things involved there. Once I got to University, making friends and actually being social was a lot more pleasant, especially since I was studying CS as a fair amount of people shared a love for either gaming or logic, and it was also because you could control the social environment a lot more to work better around my being deaf. Either way, I'm glad I'm not in school anymore, I loathed it. If I could change it I wouldn't as it made me who I am today, but I did truly despise the experience.

Obviously, there's more issues like a lot of educators want to help, but many don't have the training to effectively support students with disabilities, and also, kids with disabilities also face bullying or exclusion, and it's disheartening to see schools not take this seriously. Most schools just ignore the problem, and I've seen it happen time and time again. It just feels like the system is more focused on maintaining the status quo than actually helping these kids succeed, and it pisses me off so much.

Helping people with disabilities, ends up falling a lot more into care. You can have sympathy for them, or empathise with their struggles, but there's very little you can do, as half of the problem is the other kids there. It's also a crab bucket, and a lot of the kids despise seeing others do well or have passion for something. As an example, I saw another kid doing a lot of drawing to the point of their drawings being exceptionally good and high quality, and my heart was boiling with envy for their skills and passion. Thankfully I didn't lash out at them or anything like that, and nowadays my envy tends to go towards reaching out to the person and asking them how they did things and to learn what I can from them, and to express my envy in a lot more positive and complimentary ways. That said, I think most people, even in adulthood, express their envy in a way filled with hatred and anger.

Anyways going back to what I said about care, caring for anyone is difficult, and it can be draining.

The education system in most developed countries is based on the Prussian model which was meant for preparing students for military service. It was adopted by most Western countries during the industrial revolution in order to prepare students to work in factories.

This is mostly true. If you're lucky you can get a mentor or someone who does actually care about teaching kids valuable skills, to change from teaching straight up material, and instead engaging in a productive and interesting discussion that requires the kids to build up critical thinking skills. If you're exceptionally lucky, the tides of life will fling you in contact with someone who's skilled in a domain you want to get better at, and you'll make friends with them and learn a lot from them. This is probably one of the best things about the internet, being that it's much easier to stumble into those kind of people, but nowadays I'm not sure how much it's helpful as often people don't really have or give time as much to other people unfortunately.

 

[Captain]

Sometimes parents say disabilities and mean "my child has a so called learning disability, no desire to learn, and has been allowed to do whatever he/she/WillyWonkaAsexualHat wants forever because they are mommys little treasure." So they basically ignore authority and don't actually want to overcome whatever it is.

There are many people that have struggled with disabilities (as seen here), and many more with a disability that don't want to do anything. It's hard to quantify what the situation is without seeing first hand.

I had reading comprehension issues in school and nobody noticed or gave a fuck. Wasn't until senior year of high school in the last week that my English teacher figured it out and allowed me an alternative final exam. Turned out reading books and retaining details without prompts was hard, but I could write like I'd been reading for years. At that point I read like 1 book lol. I also hated that I had this reputation of being smart for no reason and teachers accepted this urban legend and just thought I was lazy.

So everyone sucks lol. But even a defined disability isn't consistent across people so trying to support various types of the same disability is overwhelming. Mix that in with disabled students that don't want to learn, with a side of not noticing someone with one....you get our broken system. It's not easy for anyone. But parents always make their kids the victim and blame everyone else so take anything they say with a grain of salt.

 

[Allen]

Might be hard for a normal school to allocate resources to teach one student with learning dissabilities while the other 30 something kids are getting distracted talking with each other. Even here in Venezuela there are special schools for people with those disabilities. Couldn't the lady just put her in a school like that?

I'm no psychologist but the girl you personally knew sounds like she has a different kind of disability, at least when it comes to those calls for attention

 

[dug]

Why would you expect teachers to be concerned about your well-being?

It sounds like you're in the US, which is notorious for having an awful education system. These mentors or quality-teachers that actually care about what they are doing , or about their students, are the exception, not the rule.

In all the years I've spent in school, and the varied environments in which I spent it (Public, Private, Charter, Prep [It took me 7 years to finish my Bachelor's]) across multiple states, I realized most teachers do not care about you and they are just doing their job, like the person behind the counter at the DMV. They're often government funded too. The Dalton School in New York, one of the most prestigious schools in the world, had Epstein as a teacher (there are many such cases), and from your post, I imagine I don't need to tell you how awful schools can be in, perhaps, more diverse or urban environments. Out of maybe 100 teachers/professors, and the countless courses I've had, most are forgettable.
That being said, these institutions are not designed for quality, but are actually optimized for maximum efficiency with the lowest input. So, it's only natural for most teachers to neglect students that need extra attention, because they are only concerned about taking care of most of the students.

Are you familiar with the Paretto Distribution?
It's commonly-referred to as the "80-20" rule, and can be summed up like this:
In any system, 80% of the results, come from 20% of the input.
Applications of the Paretto Distribution:
- Most teachers are forgettable and not very productive for society
- To get better than most people at an instrument, is not very hard, it would only take 20% of the work that is required to get to the 90th-percentile of instrumentalist in the world ( i.e. you may have heard that it takes 10,000 hours to be the best in the world, but you can get pretty good with just 2000 hours)
- At any company, 80% of the production, comes from only 20% of the employees.
- In the world, the top 20% of people, hold 80% of the resources.
- Out of all the universities in the world, the top 20% are the most productive, and of that 20%, say at Harvard, even still 20% of Harvard professors are producing 80% of the research coming out of Harvard
(These numbers are estimates, but the research behind the distribution is absolutely worth looking into)

I'm sorry you had such a bad experience in school, but the only people I know who didn't are homeschooled kids that had decent parents. Why would you deserve a good experience in school?


"a chain is only as strong as its weakest link"
"A poisonous tree can only produce poisonous fruit"

A bit of a bonus, I personally think homeschooling is supreme... the older I get, the more baffled I am that people would send their children off in busses to go be watched by other adults... but perhaps things are different abroad

Edit: I should add that i was never actually diagnosed with any learning disabilities, and I perhaps was a bit lucky in that regard, but my father was very intentional about getting my siblings and I through school quickly since he never really saw much value in it, (perhaps read Obake's post above), which resulted in us changing schools a lot, so my childhood was definitely "disorganized" as Bessel van der Kolk would put it.... regardless, I've heard the biggest success factor for children in school is the involvement of the parents

 

[internet_userr1]

The reality is that nobody is normal, most people have some quirk about them. If the goal of the education system were to instill basic knowledge into children than ideally we would probably have a system that adapts to the common quirks of different children.

This is an interesting perspective. It would be great if schools could adapt more to each child's unique needs and quirks instead of just pushing them through the system. Everyone learns differently, and a more personalized approach could really help kids thrive... but yeah, I see your point.

The goal of the education system is not what you might imagine it to be, and it's much easier for the schools to simply shuffle kids like these along instead of dedicating resources to helping them.

This is very true... something I forgot to mention in the post. I do not understand why some parents don't send kids with disabilities to specialized schools designed to meet their unique needs. These schools often have the resources, trained staff, and tailored programs that can make a real difference in a child's education and overall well-being. (Unless they don't have the money needed- which in that case- I don't understand why they would have a child with a disability at all if they cannot afford to give them a proper education.)
And I also don't understand why mainstream schools would accept kids with disabilities into their programs when they know that they don't have enough resources etc to cater to their needs. Makes me think that they're just doing it to build up a better reputation overall, as it is seen as "empathetic" and "inclusive" to allow kids with disabilities into normal schools. But if I'm being honest, I think that that can only make things worse sometimes...

 

[internet_userr1]

It sounds like you're in the US, which is notorious for having an awful education system.

Nope, I'm in Australia. But the education system here is just as fucked as it is in the US so it's no surprise that you'd think that lol

I realized most teachers do not care about you and they are just doing their job, like the person behind the counter at the DMV. They're often government funded too. The Dalton School in New York, one of the most prestigious schools in the world, had Epstein as a teacher (there are many such cases), and from your post, I imagine I don't need to tell you how awful schools can be in, perhaps, more diverse or urban environments. Out of maybe 100 teachers/professors, and the countless courses I've had, most are forgettable.

Yeah, it has definitely become apparent to me that teachers just don't give a shit. Still pisses me off though. Why get a job as a teacher if you're not going to actually care about the kids? I dislike how many teachers seem to just be going through the motions, like they're just clocking in and out, kind of like the DMV workers you mentioned. It just sucks that so many students feel overlooked, especially those who really need extra help. But looking at it through their perspective, if I were a teacher, I also wouldn't give a fuck.

Are you familiar with the Paretto Distribution?
It's commonly-referred to as the "80-20" rule, and can be summed up like this:
In any system, 80% of the results, come from 20% of the input.
Applications of the Paretto Distribution:
- Most teachers are forgettable and not very productive for society
- To get better than most people at an instrument, is not very hard, it would only take 20% of the work that is required to get to the 90th-percentile of instrumentalist in the world ( i.e. you may have heard that it takes 10,000 hours to be the best in the world, but you can get pretty good with just 2000 hours)
- At any company, 80% of the production, comes from only 20% of the employees.
- In the world, the top 20% of people, hold 80% of the resources.
- Out of all the universities in the world, the top 20% are the most productive, and of that 20%, say at Harvard, even still 20% of Harvard professors are producing 80% of the research coming out of Harvard
(These numbers are estimates, but the research behind the distribution is absolutely worth looking into)

The whole Paretto Distribution thing is interesting too. I did not know that a small percentage of teachers can have such a big impact while most of them don't really do much. It's like the system is set up to prioritize efficiency over actually helping kids learn. Fucked up stuff ngl.

I'm sorry you had such a bad experience in school, but the only people I know who didn't are homeschooled kids that had decent parents.

I get why you're all about home-schooling, especially if it means getting a more personalized education. I knew a guy with dyslexia, and home-schooling was a good fit for him. That can definitely work for some families, but at the end of the day, I think that every kid deserves a good experience in school, no matter where they're learning. People shouldn't have to resort to home-schooling and alternative ways to get their a child an education. There's definitely a lot of room for improvement in the education department.

 

[internet_userr1]

Might be hard for a normal school to allocate resources to teach one student with learning dissabilities while the other 30 something kids are getting distracted talking with each other. Even here in Venezuela there are special schools for people with those disabilities. Couldn't the lady just put her in a school like that?

There are definitely special schools and programs designed specifically for students with learning disabilities over here. These schools often have the resources and trained staff to give those students the attention they require. But not every family has access to those options, whether due to location, cost, or other factors.
I already mentioned this in another response I gave.

I do not understand why some parents don't send kids with disabilities to specialized schools designed to meet their unique needs. These schools often have the resources, trained staff, and tailored programs that can make a real difference in a child's education and overall well-being. (Unless they don't have the money needed- which in that case- I don't understand why they would have a child with a disability at all if they cannot afford to give them a proper education.)
And I also don't understand why mainstream schools would accept kids with disabilities into their programs when they know that they don't have enough resources etc to cater to their needs. Makes me think that they're just doing it to build up a better reputation overall, as it is seen as "empathetic" and "inclusive" to allow kids with disabilities into normal schools. But if I'm being honest, I think that that can only make things worse sometimes...

EDIT: Oh I forgot to mention this, but I'm pretty sure the girl in question had autism. It was definitely not the type of thing that was extreme though... I'm no expert, but it was pretty obvious to tell that she was pretty low on whatever the spectrum for autism must be, and that she was clearly taking advantage of it to do whatever she wanted.

 

[BlackControlBoxer]

Schools are daycare prearing you to be an adult in society(worker).

The mentaly disabled are most likely to grow up to be neets and a net negative to society.

Teachers are just employees school kids rotate all the time they see them for a year or 2 then another one takes its place they dgaf about the normal ones why would they care.

 

[dug]

Schools are daycare prearing you to be an adult in society(worker).

>le school is for muh real world preparation bro, what's with all the cynicism?

 

[LostintheCycle]

Why get a job as a teacher if you're not going to actually care about the kids? I dislike how many teachers seem to just be going through the motions, like they're just clocking in and out, kind of like the DMV workers you mentioned

Teachers in Aus get paid reasonably well, about 50% of new teachers quit the whole teaching career after the fifth year mark. It is extremely rough for various reasons, including the bureaucracy you have to deal with, the personalities of asshole kids, the fact that you stand up the front lecturing all day and nobody gives a shit that you're trying to deliver the curriculum. I'm talking mostly from experience in dingy public school, I'm sure private is a different story. I knew a guy who wanted to be a teacher in high school, and when he told his teachers, they solemnly sat him down and said, "Look, you are not cut out for this and you will be miserable, you aren't the right type of person to be a teacher."
Once you're a few years out of school and you think back to your experience, then you'll really get it.
As for primary school teachers... well, young kids are still assholes, just haven't picked up the bottle and lighter yet, and more snotty and smell like stale food instead of deoderant.
So all in all, the teachers who can go through the hard yards are ground down by decades being in a miserable system that they have watched declining in quality, babysitting kids who downright hate them or are just assholes to them.
There's nothing to be done about it. It's not anything to do with the teachers, this will always happen because the educational system is retarded and is in need of a complete demolition and rebuilding. In fact, the way our society thinks of education in the first place needs to be demolished and rebuilt, but that will not happen any time soon.

 

[Obake]

I do not understand why some parents don't send kids with disabilities to specialized schools designed to meet their unique needs

Sometimes there isn't one in their area. Sometimes the one in their area isn't specialized for whatever the kid has and they just lump all of the "problem" kids in together. Sometimes there's limited placement and priority goes to kids who are more severe. Sometimes the kid doesn't have it bad enough to qualify for special programs as it's based on testing and often behavioral stuff.

I'm going through it with my oldest right now. He tested negative for autism but he's "grey zone" meaning that his score wasn't far off from a positive test, so they just gave him the diagnosis anyway so he can get help and access to special programs if he needs it. But unfortunately in our city there aren't any special classes for kids with autism, so if we were to send him to any kind of special class he would be lumped in with kids who have all manner of problems. We went to observe that class to see how it was and there was one boy who was very violent and tried to attack some of his peers during the time we were there, and shouted バカヤロウ死ね！バカ死ねバカ死ね！バカ死ね！！ at one of the students and chased him across the room trying to attack him. Put it through Google translate because I don't feel like translating it. After that another student in the class next door echoed him so we could hear another voice from the hallway screaming 死ね！バカ死ね！It was awful. There was a kid with turrets who kept shouting クソ！randomly, and there was another kid laying in the corner of the room like a lost dog. When I asked about the kid in the corner they said last year he used to wander around the halls. I'm trying to remember what other problems some of the kids had but my brain is blocking it out because that class was like hell.

To come back on topic, my kid isn't even autistic he tested negative, he just maybe needs some extra help. Why should I put him in the special class with all of those other kids where he can be attacked by that fat kid who wanted to kill the other boy? I don't want to put my kid in that hell, and I wouldn't do it even if he tested positive for autism.

tldr; it's very nuanced, it's not as simple as "this kid has X, so they should be in Y class"

 

[Waninem]

I do not understand why some parents don't send kids with disabilities to specialized schools designed to meet their unique needs. These schools often have the resources, trained staff, and tailored programs that can make a real difference in a child's education and overall well-being.

I second what Obake had to say earlier, and I'd also like to add a couple points to that from my own perspective. For context, I came from a rural part of the US, one of the poorest parts of the whole country. Not only would anyone who'd want to put their child in a specialized school basically have to move elsewhere to do so (which is prohibitively expensive for most residents,) but there's still a stigma to children having a disability. Some people refuse to think their kids have it, some people believe it but completely misunderstand it, still others spread dangerous ideas about it like developmental disabilities being something completely different like a discipline problem or demonic possession (yes, that's a real accusation I've heard....) It's getting better over time but it used to be worse when I was younger.

Even with all that, sometimes even these schools just don't have the funding for these students, let alone ones from other areas that could be brought in. Me personally, I was lucky both because my mom transferred me to a different school when the first one I went to wanted to put me on meds, but also because the new school had teachers who cared about me and dealt with me properly even when my own parents didn't believe or told me that I had a problem. If I had been put in a special school instead of just a better elementary school I'm not sure I'd be as functional as I am today.

 

[punisheddead]

I mean you've said it yourself.

Obviously, there's more issues like a lot of educators want to help, but many don't have the training to effectively support students with disabilities, and also, kids with disabilities also face bullying or exclusion, and it's disheartening to see schools not take this seriously. Most schools just ignore the problem, and I've seen it happen time and time again. It just feels like the system is more focused on maintaining the status quo than actually helping these kids succeed, and it pisses me off so much.

Educators don't know how to handle neurodivergent and special needs kids because they simply aren't trained for it. Hell, go on YouTube and look up how many teachers struggle with modern day children who are by medical accounts healthy and sane, you'll find 100s of videos and even more teachers complaining. The system and the world in general wasn't built for special needs or neurodivergants, at best you get special schools and classes which have their own issues that people have said and that I won't repeat.

It's easier for the school and the faculty to just sweep this problem under the rug by ignoring it mostly because dealing with such problems requires an individualized approach for every student something that the school at first doesn't want to do and second can't. If the parents are half decent, which I'll admit these days is a rarity, homeschooling is probably the best option along (excluding an actually good and vetted private school for such individuals) with being in constant contact with a therapist or shrink to know how to exactly tailor the program for such a child.

Anyways this was sort of a rant ig but has anyone had any similar experiences or thoughts on this?

I went to high school with this autist, actual autist, on top of being bullied all the time he was a bit of an asshole and really didn't know how to speak with people. He had multiple chronic conditions that made him wheeze from just walking. He would interpret playful jokes as personal offense, retaliate physically, fail miserably and get his ass beat. He developed such a reputation that everyone would avoid him. Even in middle school (but this also happened in high school) he would get bounced from one class to the other because he would just end up somehow picking a fight with the entire class. Not even kidding about that, there was a case of all the women in the class (10+ of them) cornering him and beating him senselessly. He was so maladapted that his mother would come to his middle school to wipe his ass because he couldn't, wish I was making this shit up. School therapists collaborated, police got involved multiple times, he went to specialized therapy multiple times and that did absolutely nothing and he would end up behaving like he used to and continue to get his ass beat. He somehow survived high school and went on to go to collage, rumors are with his mother. The few friends he did have told me that his mother is the reason he never ended up adjusting to the real world.

My point with this story? Despite trying so many things they still couldn't help him, honestly it's sad but some people you just can't help for whatever reason. This is the one case where I can confidently say that "the system" tried its hardest to help this guy and failed, is the system still to blame in this case? I'll leave that answer to you. Out of all the classes he was in I was the only one that never got into a fight with him, even though he once gave me a really good reason to, but physical retaliation against the mentally and physically ill isn't my style.

 

[dug]

In honor of the OP, and in search of empathy or compassion or something, I interviewed my mother.
First, i should add that you can see how little i think of institutions and educators in my above posts...

That being said, my mother and my sister both studied special-education, and in essence, I have watched the people who are expected to deal with these things become who they are. They both currently work at a school that is privately funded, but free to the public, and it is based on the belief that anyone can be academically successful. It is targeted towards an "under-served" community, and the demographics of the school (its a highschool) are about 93% latin-american. So these are often the children of immigrants, and are very familiar with the exploitation of their country-men and the things people go thru just to enter america, much moreso than the "average" """american""". So they're working with mexican gen-alpha brainrot doomers.

(Disclaimer: I have little respect for Marxism, materialism or general critical theory, but the reality of exploitation of the global south, especially in california, is well documented (literal slavery for growing produce, and immigrants having to become hitmen or do dirty work for the cartels [theres a good book by a harvard researcher called "Modern Slavery" - Siddarth Kara, he's an absolute giggachad])

So i asked my mother 3 questions:
- What hinders educators from taking better care of students with disabilites?
- Why are kids with disabilities so disruptive?
- Do these kids get away with more?

To summarize:
"There's content specialists. Teachers that specialize in either math, or english, or biology, and they are often only trained in their specific content, and their main goal is to just teach most of the students, [and often just get paid so they can go take a trip to margaritaville]. and where they are trained in their content, they may also, only be trained in a very specific way of teaching, and may not be hip to all the ways that students can, or do, learn. So by the time the student gets to the special education teacher, even at a specialized school, the teacher themselves has to teach their own group of students on ALL the subjects. [This stands out to me because my mother is particularly bad at math, but she's still being paid to teach students math... its just baffling. Although, my mother does a decent job of trying to learn the material, or having other specialist teacher friends of hers, tutor the students that she can't really help]. On top of that, most students may already be doomers, but then the ones that are dubbed "special needs" or "disabled" may be even more of a doomer and not believe they can even learn, or at home they may get a lot of flack from their parents, because the parents dont want special needs kids, or they might not be equipped to serve a special needs child.... which will result in this kid that's having trouble learning or communicating lashing out at school, and here too, often, the teachers or staff aren't equipped to deal with these sorts of things, lack of resources etc..... a lot of it boils down to the belief, or lack thereof, in the student"


If i still have your attention, I would also like to point out that my sister is currently a vice principal or some other managerial-administrative position at a high school, and she once thought, and still might think, that WW2 was in the 70's.... that is all.

 

[Andy Kaufman]

About 2-3 days ago, I was on my usual bus on my way home. There were no seats left, and while I was standing- this old lady offered me a seat. I kindly accepted and said thankyou, and we ended up having a discussion.
She explained that she has a kid who's about to graduate in a couple weeks, and then she explained that her child had to move from 6 separate schools because she had a disability and all the school's prior did not accept her in (or if they did, they did not allow her to stay very long.) She explained that her daughter was graduating in just a couple of weeks, and that it was very hard for her because her daughter has had to move through six different schools because of her learning disability. In her previous elementary school, after just a year, they told her that they couldn't keep her daughter, and they had to start looking again.
The next school was a private institution that had promised a tailored approach. She thought they had finally found the right place, but the school became more interested in their reputation than actually helping kids like her daughter. When they cut their special education program, they were left scrambling once more. By the time they reached the 4th school, she was starting to feel defeated. After a few months, they learned that the school didn't have the staff to support her daughters specific needs... and once again, they had to move schools.
It was only until they reached the last school, (the 6th one) that they found a small, community-focused institution that prioritized individualized learning.

As I listened to her story, It actually pissed me off so much to see how often kids- especially kids with disabilities- are either overlooked or treated like they're a burden, but what makes me even more mad is how double sided schools can be when it comes to this bias that runs deep.

There was this girl in my old school, she had a disability, and as much as I hate to say this- she was a little bitch. I hated her. Everyone hated her. She was spoilt, a brat... and the teachers would just let her get away with anything and when I say anything I mean anything. This girl used to literally swing around grocery bags (I don't even know where she got them from) in peoples faces. She was loud, disruptive. If she was in any of your classes, you were absolutely clapped because she would never shut the fuck up and had all the teacher's attention. She had this ratchet ass ipad that she would spaff off on and ts was literally coated in her greasy ass fingerprints... could probably ruin da Vinci's career if you ask me. The only moments of bliss I ever experienced in that hellhole were when this girl finally slapped on her gigantic, circumaural headphones and decided to give her vocal cords a much-needed vacation.
We had camp once after COVID and this little bitch threw rocks at people and demanded them to have sex with her. After they said no, she threatened them and started chasing them. And she only got A WARNING. She did eventually kicked out on the 2nd day because she ran around the soccer/football courts with her shirt off and flashed like half our grade... but the fact that it took that long to get her kicked out was just insane. I pray for the people who were stuck on the same bus as her, because that ride was a good 3 hours.
The teachers let her get away with everything and it was plainly obvious she was using her disability as an excuse to do and say whatever she wanted- which brings me to my point:
I get the impression that teachers either treat kids with disabilities in one of two ways: 1. with extreme disrespect, neglect, and outright rudeness, or 2. they handle them with such leniency that it feels like they're immune to any consequences.

It just shocks me to my core how they can't find it in them to just treat these kids normally. It's like there's an assumption that kids with disabilities can't keep up or don't deserve the same attention as everyone else. That's just wrong. Just because a child learns differently doesn't mean they're any less capable. They deserve the same quality education as their peers, but the system often doesn't reflect that. I understand that sometimes, these kids need more help in the learning factor... which is why SPED classes {special education classes) exist. Meaning that when they do get put into regular classes, I see no need for teachers to be so obviously bias.
If a child with a disability is being disruptive and/or annoying... treat them like you would with any other kid who's being disruptive or annoying. Don't let them get away with it.
If a child with a disability is being a good student... treat them like you would with any other kid who's being a good student. Don't shower them in unnecessary praise.

Obviously, there's more issues like a lot of educators want to help, but many don't have the training to effectively support students with disabilities, and also, kids with disabilities also face bullying or exclusion, and it's disheartening to see schools not take this seriously. Most schools just ignore the problem, and I've seen it happen time and time again. It just feels like the system is more focused on maintaining the status quo than actually helping these kids succeed, and it pisses me off so much.

Anyways this was sort of a rant ig but has anyone had any similar experiences or thoughts on this? I'd love to know.

Special needs require special training which most teachers don't get.

 

[internet_userr1]

Educators don't know how to handle neurodivergent and special needs kids because they simply aren't trained for it.

I agree with this. It really does shock me how some parents can't send their kids to a school with people trained to handle special needs kids- or, as u said, homeschooling... but instead they just dump them in a public school that cannot support what the child needs. Makes me wonder why they'd get a child with a disability in the first place.

I went to high school with this autist, actual autist, on top of being bullied all the time he was a bit of an asshole and really didn't know how to speak with people. He had multiple chronic conditions that made him wheeze from just walking. He would interpret playful jokes as personal offense, retaliate physically, fail miserably and get his ass beat. He developed such a reputation that everyone would avoid him. Even in middle school (but this also happened in high school) he would get bounced from one class to the other because he would just end up somehow picking a fight with the entire class. Not even kidding about that, there was a case of all the women in the class (10+ of them) cornering him and beating him senselessly. He was so maladapted that his mother would come to his middle school to wipe his ass because he couldn't, wish I was making this shit up. School therapists collaborated, police got involved multiple times, he went to specialized therapy multiple times and that did absolutely nothing and he would end up behaving like he used to and continue to get his ass beat. He somehow survived high school and went on to go to collage, rumors are with his mother. The few friends he did have told me that his mother is the reason he never ended up adjusting to the real world.

This is exactly what I mean^ Why ruin somebodies life like that??

 

[internet_userr1]

I second what Obake had to say earlier, and I'd also like to add a couple points to that from my own perspective. For context, I came from a rural part of the US, one of the poorest parts of the whole country. Not only would anyone who'd want to put their child in a specialized school basically have to move elsewhere to do so (which is prohibitively expensive for most residents,) but there's still a stigma to children having a disability. Some people refuse to think their kids have it, some people believe it but completely misunderstand it, still others spread dangerous ideas about it like developmental disabilities being something completely different like a discipline problem or demonic possession (yes, that's a real accusation I've heard....) It's getting better over time but it used to be worse when I was younger.

This is very true. A lot of people don't even find out that they have a disability or an issue until they've already graduated high-school, which sucks a lot. I think since 2020 especially, when mental health on social media became a huge deal and people were becoming more aware about it, that mental health and mental illnesses started to actually be treated seriously. But in some places, like Asia for example, there is still this belief that "mental illnesses" don't exist, which in my opinion is total bullshit.

 

[internet_userr1]

Sometimes parents say disabilities and mean "my child has a so called learning disability, no desire to learn, and has been allowed to do whatever he/she/WillyWonkaAsexualHat wants forever because they are mommys little treasure." So they basically ignore authority and don't actually want to overcome whatever it is.

I agree, especially with the rise of mental illnesses becoming more of a "trend" more than a serious issue- it's hard to really distinguish who does and who doesn't have an actual problem without questioning someone and then sounding like an asshole because you don't believe that they have said mental illness.

But I'm pretty sure that schools won't just allow a parent to say that their child has an issue without giving evidence like a diagnosis report.