worst advice you've ever received

  • Thread starter y2k
  • Start date
  • This thread has been viewed 2565 times.

FalseReality

Traveler
Joined
Oct 2, 2021
Messages
119
Reaction score
196
Awards
32
They never have time for anything anymore outside of 24/7 supervision of their spouse and kids. "Sorry, I can't talk for too long, my wife is tired tonight."
That's actually depressing tbh. It's like an extension of parents. Can't do a bunch of stuff because of what they say and when u don't wanna do something it's also an excuse.

I feel like if I want a relationship that isn't like this I've gotta be super careful. And that's a whole thing since it isn't easy to find anyone in the first place. Recently I was thinking about helicopter mums (can be dads too). It's like somehow they lose interest in everything in their life and decide their whole purpose is getting their child the best chance in life whilst giving them everything. And then the schools get to use them for free volunteering.

Also I have a 6 year old sister and my dad and step mum are in group chats for their respective gender of parents from her school. The dads one they send random sexual stuff (idk maybe funny maybe not) and the mums complain about their husbands.

Sometimes I don't get it, but in another way I do. Everyone hates their life but everyone tries to convince you to do what they do. I suppose there's some bad shit in us trying to use anyone to validate ourselves.
 
Virtual Cafe Awards

RIG

Starship Trooper
Silver
Joined
Jun 18, 2021
Messages
546
Reaction score
5,237
Awards
233
Website
store.steampowered.com
E715ACD9-48EC-4EFD-9E2B-B9A6B7D1BA6B.jpeg
Watch doogal
 
Virtual Cafe Awards

Fractalactals

Breakbeat
Joined
Sep 8, 2022
Messages
29
Reaction score
61
Awards
10
That's actually depressing tbh. It's like an extension of parents. Can't do a bunch of stuff because of what they say and when u don't wanna do something it's also an excuse.

I feel like if I want a relationship that isn't like this I've gotta be super careful. And that's a whole thing since it isn't easy to find anyone in the first place. Recently I was thinking about helicopter mums (can be dads too). It's like somehow they lose interest in everything in their life and decide their whole purpose is getting their child the best chance in life whilst giving them everything. And then the schools get to use them for free volunteering.

Also I have a 6 year old sister and my dad and step mum are in group chats for their respective gender of parents from her school. The dads one they send random sexual stuff (idk maybe funny maybe not) and the mums complain about their husbands.

Sometimes I don't get it, but in another way I do. Everyone hates their life but everyone tries to convince you to do what they do. I suppose there's some bad shit in us trying to use anyone to validate ourselves.

This whole post is so true. I especially have an issue with people condescendingly saying things like "You'll grow out of it", "You'll change your mind" "I guess we're just in different stages of life" and so on.
I don't want a wife and I sure as fuck don't want kids now at 27. I seriously feel like my life only truly started a few years ago (full independence, well paying and satisfying job, developed interests, great physical shape, venues to go to, etc.) The idea of finding some foid and having to spend more than one day a week with her is horrible. FWBs already make me feel like they demand too much time and energy from me. I know most of my old friends who have a girlfriend or fiance now I barely get to see them, or they don't/can't do things like go do XYZ because their foid doesn't like it or whatever other bullshit.
Anyone who wants to start a family has my full support, but don't try to push that on me.
Likewise for the just take on credit/debt advice, or buy a car because you "need it". All of those things are liabilities that either don't improve my life or make it significantly worse.
No, I don't want to get married, have kids, move to the suburbs, get a car and become a wagecuck for my wife and kids.
I don't think the friends I know who are engaged, married or having kids resent my freedom, and I like to think they had their choice and are now living it, but sometimes the comments bother me. I don't think the husband stage is a stage I ever want to get to.
 

Collision

Green Tea Ice Cream
Joined
Jun 5, 2022
Messages
381
Reaction score
1,420
Awards
126
From various people but especially university professors: "Understanding <topic> is a waste of time. Just use <software package>. You'll never get anything done otherwise," often followed by, "understanding <software package> is a waste of time. Just use <more fashionable software package>. You'll never get anything done otherwise."

From my dad: "If you don't go to <publicly funded summer program for 10-13 year-olds> then you'll never achieve anything."

I've probably heard dumber things, but these come to mind as the worst right now.
 
Virtual Cafe Awards

wot

Traveler
Joined
May 2, 2021
Messages
81
Reaction score
235
Awards
38
From various people but especially university professors: "Understanding <topic> is a waste of time. Just use <software package>. You'll never get anything done otherwise," often followed by, "understanding <software package> is a waste of time. Just use <more fashionable software package>. You'll never get anything done otherwise."
This must be why every "what's a good algorithm for (x)?" on Stackoverflow is answered by "just use (library) bro". Yeah, nevermind that I just need to do one simple thing, want to learn how something works, or just don't want to include yet another goddamn dependency so people can use my code with less hassle. It's especially bad with C++, every other answer is "YOOZ BOOST".
 
Virtual Cafe Awards

punishedgnome

Well-Known Traveler
Joined
Feb 2, 2022
Messages
481
Reaction score
1,145
Awards
123
On the wife /kids stuff. Having kids changes you. On the outside looking in when an old friend is busy spending time with their wife and kids and doesn't hang out with you, you may think, "Oh man, they can't do the stuff we used to think was fun in high school. They must be miserable." But I guarantee you if those things were a priority they would find a way to make time for them. The issue here is most men will prioritize spending time with their wife and kids because they want to. I'm not saying there aren't miserable people who are married with kids, I'm just saying generally when you're at that point in your life you willingly change your priorities.

The point of this is not to shame anyone into getting married and having kids, do what makes you happy. The point is more that I don't think it's correct to assume someone is miserable just because a lot of their free time is eaten up spending time with their wife and kids.
 
Virtual Cafe Awards

Orlando Smooth

Well-Known Traveler
Joined
Aug 12, 2019
Messages
445
Reaction score
1,657
Awards
136
Anyone who wants to start a family has my full support, but don't try to push that on me.
Fair enough, and more power to you. I'm firmly of the belief that people who don't want to have kids don't need to justify their choices. Honestly though the thing that irks me is that, at least where I am, the number of under-40's who are blatant child hating anti-natalists vastly outnumber those who are condescending about not wanting to have kids. You do not seem to be one of those people so I won't lecture you as an individual on it, but my SO and I have our shit together and want to eventually have kids someday. It's frankly infuriating when immature people from our past hear that and say things like "Ew why would you want to ruin your own lives like that?" completely unironically. The choice to have kids (or not to) is probably the most personal decision you'll ever make, and as long as the decision is made with clear eyes and a level head it should be respected by both sides.
 
Virtual Cafe Awards

stonehead

Active Traveler
Joined
Oct 23, 2022
Messages
177
Reaction score
645
Awards
69
Website
argusarts.com
From various people but especially university professors: "Understanding <topic> is a waste of time. Just use <software package>. You'll never get anything done otherwise," often followed by, "understanding <software package> is a waste of time. Just use <more fashionable software package>. You'll never get anything done otherwise."

From my dad: "If you don't go to <publicly funded summer program for 10-13 year-olds> then you'll never achieve anything."

I've probably heard dumber things, but these come to mind as the worst right now.
That software one is so true, especially in the job, there's no time to learn  how things are done. Especially if there's a deadline to meet.

Working with a "black box" that you don't understand is a recipe for making sloppy, unmaintainable code.

Now, you can go too far in the other direction. I took a class on Assembly in college, and the whole time I was thinking "this is way too deep for anything I'll ever do."

So probably not the  worst, but learning assembly wasn't great advice.
 
Last edited:

Collision

Green Tea Ice Cream
Joined
Jun 5, 2022
Messages
381
Reaction score
1,420
Awards
126
This must be why every "what's a good algorithm for (x)?" on Stackoverflow is answered by "just use (library) bro". Yeah, nevermind that I just need to do one simple thing, want to learn how something works, or just don't want to include yet another goddamn dependency so people can use my code with less hassle. It's especially bad with C++, every other answer is "YOOZ BOOST".
In my experience, if you want to actually learn anything about computers (outside of a classroom) then you need to use books and technical documentation. StackOverflow is ok for basic information (e.g., explanations of obscure compiler errors), but you usually have to read all of the answers. Sometimes you even need to read all of the comments to get good information.
Now, you can go too far in the other direction. I took a class on Assembly in college, and the whole time I was thinking "this is way too deep for anything I'll ever do."
I took a course called Microprocessor Assembly Languages (which is a bad title because it was really just about microprocessors and we only used 32-bit ARM assembly). I got a lot out of it. Even if you're not programming specific microprocessors directly, understanding how they work at a basic level is pretty useful.

Generally, my view is that you should try to understand as much as you can manage about the system you're working with. It's definitely easier and usually faster to just plug in an existing solution. In my opinion, building the expertise is more valuable though. You absolutely have to draw the line somewhere (e.g., I'm not going to get a PhD in applied physics just so I can understand integrated circuits better than I currently do). I just think that most of the time people are drawing the line in the wrong place.

Speaking of bad computer advice, I think the famous, "if you want to set off and go develop some grand new thing, you don't need millions of dollars of capitalization. You need enough pizza and Diet Coke to stick in your refrigerator, a cheap PC to work on, and the dedication to go through with it," is completely out of touch.
 
Virtual Cafe Awards

stonehead

Active Traveler
Joined
Oct 23, 2022
Messages
177
Reaction score
645
Awards
69
Website
argusarts.com
In my experience, if you want to actually learn anything about computers (outside of a classroom) then you need to use books and technical documentation. StackOverflow is ok for basic information (e.g., explanations of obscure compiler errors), but you usually have to read all of the answers. Sometimes you even need to read all of the comments to get good information.

I took a course called Microprocessor Assembly Languages (which is a bad title because it was really just about microprocessors and we only used 32-bit ARM assembly). I got a lot out of it. Even if you're not programming specific microprocessors directly, understanding how they work at a basic level is pretty useful.

Generally, my view is that you should try to understand as much as you can manage about the system you're working with. It's definitely easier and usually faster to just plug in an existing solution. In my opinion, building the expertise is more valuable though. You absolutely have to draw the line somewhere (e.g., I'm not going to get a PhD in applied physics just so I can understand integrated circuits better than I currently do). I just think that most of the time people are drawing the line in the wrong place.

Speaking of bad computer advice, I think the famous, "if you want to set off and go develop some grand new thing, you don't need millions of dollars of capitalization. You need enough pizza and Diet Coke to stick in your refrigerator, a cheap PC to work on, and the dedication to go through with it," is completely out of touch.
I don't want to derail the thread (any more than I already have) by just talking about comp sci college courses, but I'm glad you got some use out of that crazy low level stuff. Every job is different, and maybe I've just been lucky that I've never needed it.

Still though, at the very least I think that kind of stuff should be in grad-level classes, not first year "weed-out" courses. Learning things is good for sure, but it's not free, especially if you learn it in a college course.

That whole "Work yourself to death at 35 just to get a half-functioning product on the market" mindset is disgusting though, no disagreements there. If you have some grand idea, make something small that works that's kinda similar to what you want. If you enjoyed doing that, then keep iterating on it. But if you're going to do it, do it because you enjoy it. I myself like working on projects in my free time, but I'm under no impression that anything will "blow up" or anything.
 
"Stop paying your bills. The deep state is being arrested for hoarding all of the wealth of the common people so we'll all receive millions very soon." -my mom

Too insane to consider ofc, but this was two years ago and im still waiting on my millions. Any second now
 
Virtual Cafe Awards

Similar threads