People changing when confronted to something new, and wanting to fit in, usually ends up in them leaving (forever or for some time)

[Z0diacK]

( https://forum.agoraroad.com/index.php?threads/diary.3162/ ) (example)

I think this can be seen as a classic case of wanting to put everything out into something new. Obviously OP put alot of time into the first few diary entries, with crazy symbols and all, adding the time and date (most likely in some sort of period in their life, they want to feel better in their life and focus on something new and/or self-improvement), only slowly going into just a few words that is about their day, no date and no time, and no crazy symbols. Eventually leaving the site altogether (last entry was on may, 2023). This person wanted to fit into the Y2K aesthetic, or a general forum aesthetic of being interesting and mysterious (and i am sure they can be quite a interesting person) and wanting to share their life in a aesthetic manner (see; crazy symbols with date). Maybe they are afraid of not fitting in by not using old internet (crazy) symbols as during 2021, more people talked like this (and many that talked like this had left, sort of like a filler in their online journey).

I don't know what to call this phenotype that comes up in people when confronted with something new, they will try their hardest to fit in, and either realize there is no need to do all that stuff and no one will judge you for it. I will say, I have went through it myself in the beginning of this forum.

What do you all think? (Is it a case of a sudden resurgence of y2k during 2020/2021 that people were trying to find a y2k styled forum?)

(no hate to this person, it is just an example. There's many such cases on this forum)

 

[Some_porcupine]

all-or-nothing attitude

I don't know what to call this phenotype that comes up in people when confronted with something new, they will try their hardest to fit in, and either realize there is no need to do all that stuff and no one will judge you for it. I will say, I have went through it myself in the beginning of this forum.

(those symbols/flowers are popular in discord intro(duction)s, with ASL*) internet-induced edgelordness / *Age-Sex (Gender)-Location + likes, dislikes, interests
need to be special, different, absurd, edgy, crazy
see
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cAyLrRZf1-I
for example - basically, https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ItsPopularNowItSucks > which is, too - related to how Fandoms etc. works (you mentioned that too! - https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FandomLifeCycle
but sorry if i talk "out of "bowl""/topic, i just see patterns in things (it is not always right - my brain use shortcuts)
if you want to make it more about another topic not related to all this (i) posted, then you can lemme know

 

[Z0diacK]

all-or-nothing attitude

(those symbols/flowers are popular in discord intro(duction)s, with ASL*) internet-induced edgelordness / *Age-Sex (Gender)-Location + likes, dislikes, interests
need to be special, different, absurd, edgy, crazy
see
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cAyLrRZf1-I
for example - basically, https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ItsPopularNowItSucks > which is, too - related to how Fandoms etc. works (you mentioned that too! - https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FandomLifeCycle
but sorry if i talk "out of "bowl""/topic, i just see patterns in things (it is not always right - my brain use shortcuts)
if you want to make it more about another topic not related to all this (i) posted, then you can lemme know

I love what you wrote, it's very true. And it's fine, it is related to the fandom life cycle. Internet-induced edgelordness is a wonderful word to describe this phenomena. And yes, I love that song

 

[BLOODMAGE]

i like this post

i have nothing interesting to add to the discussion (sorry) but i think this is an interesting topic to think about

 

[Z0diacK]

i like this post

i have nothing interesting to add to the discussion (sorry) but i think this is an interesting topic to think about

You added a comment which is nice because then it'll show up on the sidebar. But yes, I think it's interesting too, do you agree with my statements and that of Some Porcupine?

 

[Jodo_Fan]

I think many people (and maybe everyone to an extent) uses mirroring to grease the wheels in unfamiliar social settings. A simple example would be returning a smile from a stranger. I can definitely see why someone might try to reflect the local culture when interacting on a new forum. Doubly so somewhere with a distinct or unusual vibe. Problem is, since a new member would be working off first impressions and or preconceived ideas, they'll probably misunderstand the culture and get things wrong. Given time, and not getting good results from their attempts at fitting in, said user would then either drop the act, tune in to the genuine atmosphere or leave. That's my take, anyway.

 

[Z0diacK]

I think many people (and maybe everyone to an extent) uses mirroring to grease the wheels in unfamiliar social settings. A simple example would be returning a smile from a stranger. I can definitely see why someone might try to reflect the local culture when interacting on a new forum. Doubly so somewhere with a distinct or unusual vibe. Problem is, since a new member would be working off first impressions and or preconceived ideas, they'll probably misunderstand the culture and get things wrong. Given time, and not getting good results from their attempts at fitting in, said user would then either drop the act, tune in to the genuine atmosphere or leave. That's my take, anyway.

Interesting take, coming from a newfag... All jokes aside, you word it out way better than I do. You are a new user, what do you think of what I said then, do you think it applies to you currently? Or have u been lurking for some time now. I am interested if you are currently mirroring in the post you just made

 

[HammerKoopa]

I think many people (and maybe everyone to an extent) uses mirroring to grease the wheels in unfamiliar social settings. A simple example would be returning a smile from a stranger. I can definitely see why someone might try to reflect the local culture when interacting on a new forum. Doubly so somewhere with a distinct or unusual vibe. Problem is, since a new member would be working off first impressions and or preconceived ideas, they'll probably misunderstand the culture and get things wrong. Given time, and not getting good results from their attempts at fitting in, said user would then either drop the act, tune in to the genuine atmosphere or leave. That's my take, anyway.

Thats where the act of >lurk more comes into play. When i first found this place i must of lurked for about 3 weeks or so? Then made me account and lurked for another month, just taking in the feel and culture of the place. I see lurking as a part of forum/community etiquette, jumping in and starting to post without an understanding of where you are more often than not leads to bad quality posting and a negative shift on the places "culture", so lurking when first joining comes as a rather polite thing to do for the already pre established users.

That being said, part of giving your all at first as a way to fit in i can understand it specially around gatekeepy communities of which Agora has some fame for even if its quite mild. I dont believe gatekeeping to be the devil the mainstream web wants you to think it is and i feel i am not alone on that topic. So that being said, by giving it your all could interpreted as showing your ID to the bouncer before he asks your age.

All of that can only get you so far, and it will a matter of time as you get to know the people and get a general feeling of the place you sort of settle down. Personally i prefer the backwards approach of going all in, as me views of lurking would imply, i much prefer a slow approach at first till one is ready to kick off their feet and let their true selves out, as long as the community you found fits with the atmosphere you were looking for.

That adds more points to me in me opinion, when quirks either be symbols, uwu speak, or any other bloody way one might have to personally butcher the english lexicon for shits and giggles are genuine to one in how they have with their online experience.

 

[MindControlBoxer]

Its fomo.

People want something they see others do or are and believe that will mirror their existence if they do it.
But if their existence reflected it they wouldn't try to do it to make that way, they would do it because that its the way it is.
Some people know what to do and what they want and some people don't those who don't are stuck in a limbo of trying. The really sad part is that those who do don't want them around because they will end up ruining what it is by being who they are, so after the destruction or rejection they will eventually move on to something else to try and get a balanced existence.
Things are only enjoyable in so far the satisfy some core need, whether directly or indirectly, I think it's gradual narrowing of their world though wasted time, eventually the only options become which culture to belong and all their other needs are forgotten. Otherwise what do they have?
Where was this need to do and belong to something in their formative years, which are the years you will develop skills and interests?

These People will just exploit and try to "live vicariously" on what what its popular with the young people as they always do.

Videogames, Skateboarding, Comic books, Tv series, hip hop, punk rock, The Internet, ETC. All of those things had their domain and their target audience who know what they want and know who they are, but their cultural existence reverberates beyond their culture, causing others to see it how it is inside it and wanting to be it (tyler durden is literally me!!1!1!).

Except that those who do it do it because they wanted to do it, the extra things are just extra and they will still do it if there are no social/cultural benefits anymore, how many people were still rollerblading in 2009 compared to 1992? Not many but those who did did it because they actually enjoyed and cared about rollerblading, more than they cared about being called faggots and having drinks thrown at them. How many people still play 2nd edition D&D? How many people still play fall guys?

You can tell who is into things and who isn't, its just the way things b, just bully those who aren't, because ironically the less incentive to be there the best the community is, the same reason why to join a gang they will beat the shit out of you first or make you do some retarded crime first.
There are no posers in mma because you have to actually enjoy doing it to justify getting beat up every time you try it because You can't just try to belong without getting your shit pushed in. You have to actually enjoy doing the thing.

Also the person writing the diary is a a child or autistic, or an autistic child.

 

[Jodo_Fan]

Interesting take, coming from a newfag... All jokes aside, you word it out way better than I do. You are a new user, what do you think of what I said then, do you think it applies to you currently? Or have u been lurking for some time now. I am interested if you are currently mirroring in the post you just made

Jeez, man, very meta. But, yeah, my post in this thread is pretty straight up. Though I'm sure some of my other contributions do show a little attempted tailoring here and there. Otherwise, yes, I have lurked on Agora intermittently for a few months. It seemed like a good place to moan about the current state of the web and or popular culture without being well ackchyuallied out of existence. And I can assure you, my moaning is 100% genuine middle-aged millennial rancor. (And as if by fate, I received my Doomer wojack award while typing that last sentence.)

 

[赤い男]

( https://forum.agoraroad.com/index.php?threads/diary.3162/ ) (example)

I think this can be seen as a classic case of wanting to put everything out into something new. Obviously OP put alot of time into the first few diary entries, with crazy symbols and all, adding the time and date (most likely in some sort of period in their life, they want to feel better in their life and focus on something new and/or self-improvement), only slowly going into just a few words that is about their day, no date and no time, and no crazy symbols. Eventually leaving the site altogether (last entry was on may, 2023). This person wanted to fit into the Y2K aesthetic, or a general forum aesthetic of being interesting and mysterious (and i am sure they can be quite a interesting person) and wanting to share their life in a aesthetic manner (see; crazy symbols with date). Maybe they are afraid of not fitting in by not using old internet (crazy) symbols as during 2021, more people talked like this (and many that talked like this had left, sort of like a filler in their online journey).

I don't know what to call this phenotype that comes up in people when confronted with something new, they will try their hardest to fit in, and either realize there is no need to do all that stuff and no one will judge you for it. I will say, I have went through it myself in the beginning of this forum.

What do you all think? (Is it a case of a sudden resurgence of y2k during 2020/2021 that people were trying to find a y2k styled forum?)

(no hate to this person, it is just an example. There's many such cases on this forum)

How Staying on the road for more than a year feels like

 

[赤い男]

I see lurking as a part of forum/community etiquette, jumping in and starting to post without an understanding of where you are more often than not leads to bad quality posting and a negative shift on the places "culture", so lurking when first joining comes as a rather polite thing to do for the already pre established users.

 

[LostintheCycle]

Thats where the act of >lurk more comes into play. When i first found this place i must of lurked for about 3 weeks or so? Then made me account and lurked for another month, just taking in the feel and culture of the place.

I started posting half an hour after I found Agora

 

[HammerKoopa]

I started posting half an hour after I found Agora

And now look at ya, lost in the cycle

 

[赤い男]

I started posting half an hour after I found Agora

If that's the case then i started posting on agora road before agora was even an idea

 

[Chuffed]

If that's the case then i started posting on agora road before agora was even an idea

Before it was cool? You hipster

 

[Deerhunter]

man reading the diary itself tells me they tried to be themselves but cut it short to not come off as annoying or repetitive. if they continued for a little longer they probably would've gotten some idea on what they wanted to be IMO.

This thread is nice to have though. it reminds me of the earliest attempts at fitting in with communities which resulted in me basically me being a faker for switching my likeness of things so much lol. it did lead into where i am in now where I'm an outsider of the media i like and often don't involve myself in communities centered around that specific show or band, choosing instead to form my own opinion on it and chat about it in general servers or forums where everyone else has a different background in what they view and like so i don't have to pressure myself into a community that i might not even like or agree with that often. theres obviously been exceptions but even those said exceptions of specific media communities would eventually turn into general chat groups because of lost of interest in the media or for other reasons. this forum was probably gonna be no different for me had i not lurked around the other categories outside of vaporwave general for a week and a half and see how it functioned on general dicussions and the matter which im still frankly getting used to but that tells me something this different is exciting for me to experience.

 

[Jodo_Fan]

lurking when first joining comes as a rather polite thing to do for the already pre established users.

Super old-school etiquette right there.

I'm an outsider of the media i like

Speaking creatively, that's the sweet spot to be in, imo.

 

[赤い男]

Super old-school etiquette right there.

And a very unorthodox one, at this point what is even forum etiquette here now? "Huh you, you are annoying other users by actively participing in the community, don't you know you should shut the fuck up and wait 3 months per participation and only to contribute the season circlejerking "

"Why? well is just how things are ok?"

pfft, the etiquette of the road died back in 2022.

 

[HammerKoopa]

And a very unorthodox one, at this point what is even forum etiquette here now? "Huh you, you are annoying other users by actively participing in the community, don't you know you should shut the fuck up and wait 3 months per participation and only to contribute the season circlejerking "

"Why? well is just how things are ok?"

pfft, the etiquette of the road died back in 2022.

Zero reading comprehension, you make it seem like im talking about a 3 month cooldown period per post
What im talking about is getting a feel of the place before jumping in head first, sides one thing is participating in a conversation and another one is some new fag derailing a thread and getting bullied to hell and back