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Same-sex parenting and lack of father figures

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Problem is, I can't see myself marrying a man. The smell of testosterone doesn't turn me on, and I even quite dislike it. Very rarely does a man pass by and his perfume-free smell doesn't smell bad to me, and if that's the case, it's 100% of the time an old man. It makes sense, as testosterone levels decrease with age. I can't see myself going to bed with a man and waking up in that smell of testosterone, or having a man touch me this way.

Err, sorry if this is prying a bit, but do you use hormone based birth control by any chance for whatever reason? One of the more random side effects of using it is that it can alter your perception of what you find attractive and changing what sort of "man" smell you like/dislike is one of the more common ones that I've seen noted online. You could try not using it for a while to see if it changes anything.
What would you think about same-sex parenting? Do you think that kids can grow up well-adjusted with two parents of the same sex, provided they're happy and well taken care of?

It would help me judge if I actually knew anyone with same-sex parents growing up so I could at least have anecdotal evidence. Judging from what statistics I know I would say yes, but less likely to succeed that a heterosexual relationship. Homosexual relationships (especially lesbian ones) have a much higher chance to be abusive in nature.
 
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zetelica

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Lesbians have a less high-risk behavior set, but often suffer from domestic violence at an increase rate, and this is suboptimal for a child to be around.

This is statement I often see perpetuated in more male dominated spaces online. The statement is born from a singular study that can be found here but let me break it down. The part that people usually quote can be found in these images:
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But if you read it a bit more carefully and do some simple math you'll notice that lesbians actually had some of the lowest occurrences of domestic abuse if you substract the men from this statement, since many of these lesbians dated men in the past when they were closeted (which is something you're unironically suggesting OP to do, for example).

If the lifetime prevalence of severe physical violence by an intimate partner for lesbians is 29.4% and two thirds (67.4%) of lesbian women reported having only female perpetrators of intimate partner violence that would mean the lifetime prevalence of severe physical violence for lesbians done by other women was actually 19.82% if we exclude the men from the equation. Which among all types of women surveyed was the lowest percentage.

Keep in mind, the sample size was quite small for both bisexual and lesbian women and men so the legitimacy of this often quoted study is dubious.
1692437328040.png


Not to mention you keep boasting about how she should raise her potential child in a nuclear family unit and seem to be peddling it as the natural state a family is meant to be in but for the majority of human history the nuclear family didn't exist, and children were raised by not just the parents, but by the whole extended family, village, or community. The nuclear family unit is ironically, not a traditional thing. And while you're right that gay men are promiscuous, gay women do not match the same numbers.
 
Err, sorry if this is prying a bit, but do you use hormone based birth control by any chance for whatever reason? One of the more random side effects of using it is that it can alter your perception of what you find attractive and changing what sort of "man" smell you like/dislike is one of the more common ones that I've seen noted online. You could try not using it for a while to see if it changes anything.
No, I don't. I used to between ages 18-20 ish, because it made my period more regular and less painful, but I stopped because I realized I didn't quite like the idea of putting synthetic hormones into my body. Food is already laced with that (even if to a lesser extent in Europe), I'd rather not mess with that too much. I'm not sure this had an effect, I've had what I described for a long time before I took the pill.
Homosexual relationships (especially lesbian ones) have a much higher chance to be abusive in nature.
One of the reasons why I'm also afraid for my future in love is that a lot of homosexuals are mentally screwed, even moreso than heterosexuals, and that I sure as hell don't want a partner with a mental illness. A lot of the people I've been close to, if not most, have turned out to be bisexual. They're unfortunately the ones that get screwed the most by the LGBT community, especially if god fucking forbid they get into a heterosexual relationship. But that's another story really.
 
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If the lifetime prevalence of severe physical violence by an intimate partner for lesbians is 29.4% and two thirds (67.4%) of lesbian women reported having only female perpetrators of intimate partner violence that would mean the lifetime prevalence of severe physical violence for lesbians done by other women was actually 19.82% if we exclude the men from the equation. Which among all types of women surveyed was the lowest percentage.
Not quite, the study doesn't actually provide enough information to cut down the % like that, since it fails to provide a percentage of violence perpetrated by both a man and a women working together. I would argue that a man perpetrating the violence in tandem or at the behest of a woman in the relationship would still count as a female perpetrator overall. Hmm, it bothers me when people in these studies don't think about stuff like this. it always end up leaving me with questions I'm not going to get answers to, even if it's statistically irrelevent in the end.

I'm fairly certain this isn't the only study on this subject, though I would be hard pressed to provide an example myself since the last time I saw one was years ago and it would probably be pay walled now.
 
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Maybe it is better to have a father figure, I don't know so I won't say. However, there are still a hundred thousand other ways your child could get fucked up, both in and out of your control. It is impossible to provide a perfect environment for your kids, even if you do everything "correct", what is considered correct is always changing.
So don't worry about doing things perfectly, instead just be the best parent you can be, and your effort can trump everything else. Considering that you are already thinking about your children, I think it is a given that you will always strive to be a good parent.
 
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Captain

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You'll be fine. Despite what people think, kids are surprisingly resilient and may benefit from not having an unreasonable hot head around. The other thing to consider is a lot of the normie fathers out there are bitches anyway, so it's the same scenario. The way to look at life is whatever happens is meant to happen and that child was destined to have that life. Just do the best you can when the time comes and provide the best life you know how. Even if there is a a father, a car accident or other tragedy could change that in a second. Just follow your heart and instincts and you'll be fine. You can never create the perfect environment.
 
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RisingThumb

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Problem is, I can't see myself marrying a man. The smell of testosterone doesn't turn me on, and I even quite dislike it.
A sign of "true" love on the point of a woman, is that they want to have their man's babies in their womb. Women are hypergamous creatures which makes them very selective in men, and this is a GOOD thing, as it means good genes get passed on, and a good father figure is selected for(provided the woman has had a good father figure and doesn't lust after dark triad traits). Most women just want kids, not to bear a particular man's kids... and that's very telling in the kind of relationships they have, and bears a poor future for the kid as their parent's relationship is repeatedly tested.

As no_chill already mentioned, diet, hormonal balance, hygiene and your own habits have a huge influence on how you smell. Testosterone is only the hormone, most men are actually low in testosterone due to a really shoddy diet- and men aren't usually predisposed to good hygiene. As a result you have lots of men who smell... how to put it other than "off"?.
But the issue is, I'd want my kids to have an actual father figure.
This is good. You must have had a good father figure in your life, to be able to know that you want a good father figure for your kids.
and if that's the case, it's 100% of the time an old man.
Throughout history, women have often married up the social hierarchy, upwards towards an older man. This is because an older man is competent, confident, has experienced life and(especially if you consider our ancients) lived. This fact of living at such an old age, indicates a lot of competence, as there's a lot of ways to die in life. Even nowadays, it's a decidedly excellent strategy for women, as it ensures you have someone with life experience, someone who knows what's best for you, and knows what's best for themselves, and is competent... that is, if you select them right. A lot of those men are capable of being mentors to you too. Again you have to be able to tell the difference between Fatherly traits and dark triad traits.

The age gap is often viewed poorly in the west, where it's often seen as something suspicious going on, but I genuinely recommend you look into it and do some more thinking of your own on it. The older you are, the more meaningless the age gap. In the phillipines as an example, age gaps are fairly common. It usually frames the woman as a Gold digger, and the man as a pervert. Is a man wanting a fertile, beautiful and kind woman bad? Is a woman wanting a competent, and resourceful(both in skills and actual resources) as a provider bad? To both, I think no, and in the men those traits peak around 30-40, and in women, they peak around 20-25.

It's a telling thing... that enjoying beauty is perverted. What perverted senses! And all enjoyment of beauty, is ugly- but beauty itself, is beauty.
What would you think about same-sex parenting? Do you think that kids can grow up well-adjusted with two parents of the same sex, provided they're happy and well taken care of?
Firstly, there cannot be a child between two people of the same sex. I say sex, not gender. You can identify however you want, but that won't change the reality of it being impossible between two people of the same sex.

Now there's ways of getting "around" this: surrogates, or sperm donors. In the case of surrogates, this is dangerous as you're putting the birth health in the hands of someone else for 9 months, and they might have an awful tobacco and alcohol ridden druggie life. In the case of sperm donors, it's just that it's not your genetic material. In both cases, the fact half of it isn't your genetic material poses problems in research the history of health in someone's family, as they can only see on one side, but the other relies on keeping in contact with the other person.

Adoption is also an option. Needless to say, adoption runs into the same abuses that stepfathers and stepmothers have. They aren't their "real" parents and the kid normally treats it as such if they're old enough, and the stepmother or stepfather has big shoes to fill in. As it's both, it's two people with big shoes to fill. If the kid is young enough, they haven't had any breast milk, which is the proper way of providing milk to a baby, but most breast milk is a result of the mother's garbage diet so wouldn't help anyway, and the industry baby milk is better if the mother's diet is garbage, but worse if the mother pays attention to their diet. This only applies if they are a baby though. The older the adopted kid, the more shit they've gone through, and the more predisposed against you they will often be.

Can they grow up well-adjusted with two parents of the same-sex, provided they're happy and taken care of, and the pragmatic reality of the situation above is properly addressed? Absolutely. This places a huge burden on the two parents. Firstly, most gay people are left-leaning, and left-leaning people are typically predisposed against health and vitality from the absolute hogwash they put forward on health, nutrition and diet, and in terms of what they themselves eat. Secondly, if it's two mothers you're fighting female nature. In single-parent households, kids of a single Mother come out mentally worse, than kids of a single Father. It's not that hard to understand why. The Father is a provider, protector, mentor and guide- the Mother is a carer and supporter, but support and care is easily rolled over. Providing, mentoring and protecting isn't. Again on this point, whoever takes the paternal or whoever takes the maternal role will always be filling a role they aren't biologically and psychologically predisposed to. That's not to say they can't do it as a lot of women nowadays act masculine, and a lot of men nowadays act feminine, but to say one side will likely struggle to fill the role. Thirdly, you're fighting the predisposition that gay people have towards sexual fetishes. This is the more unbelievable of the claims, so I support it by putting forward this predisposition as put forward in this research regarding a comparison of homosexual and heterosexual couples and the frequency of sex offences against children.

This is the same point as can be put forward about two parents who are heterosexual. It depends on the parents being well-adjusted. I believe gay people are predisposed to being mentally ill.
 
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alix

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All that besides, male role models can be found not just in a father, but also in mentors, coaches, teachers, family, your friends, your son's friend's parents, and so on. It is important for there to be male role models in a childs life, a father isn't necessarily a good male role model as zetelica said.
89e9130c3db01d45e3e3ae809cb421cc.jpg

I don't really know what to say to this thread, but just as you said, father is not the same as role model.
 
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housepoopr

But if you read it a bit more carefully and do some simple math you'll notice that lesbians actually had some of the lowest occurrences of domestic abuse
You forgot to mention the grand canyon of disparity in amount of women who are heterosexual vs non-heterosexual. Hetereosexual women will report primarily male abusers. Heterosexual women make up the majority of women.

Adjust your result for the disparity; you'll find that lesbian couples have a drastically higher rate of domestic abuse.


That report wraps up 42 seperate studies on the matter since 1989. You are mistaken. The data is clear among LGBT relationships; they are more violent.

The reason is mental instability. As any laymen could tell you, without the need for 42 seperate studies since 1989 to tell you.
 
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handoferis

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Seeing as this topic is mostly receiving unhinged replies and I don't think I've seen what I'm gonna post in this thread yet, there's a saying that stands out to me as something that people seem to forget these days in "nuclear family > all" nightmare world, which is:

"It takes a village"

If you have good support networks of friends and family that wanna take part in doing stuff with your kid, I don't think it really matters who the parents are. Kids just need people to look up to, and that can come from a variety of people. The whole "no role models" thing just comes from people getting locked up in their houses with their parents and nobody else, and if parents bad, then that's your lot. I always think about this as someone who doesn't want kids of my own, there's no way I'd want it for myself but I don't think I'd particularly mind mucking in with helping someone else out.

e: there sure is a lot of telling a fellow wlw "you just haven't found da right man yet!!11" in this thread and like, your own religious/squick stuff aside, I don't think you're going to get anywhere posting at someone to maybe just get into dick, it doesn't work like that
 
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housepoopr

Seeing as this topic is mostly receiving unhinged replies...
99.9% of humaninty grew up with Mom and Dad. This is not unhinged. LGBT members simply don't like it. The majority of LGBT self reported multiple mental illnesses, in fact the majority of left wing voters did. Why are you so sure your ideas based on that fact alone, are healthier than traditional ideas which we know produce solid outcomes?
"It takes a village"
Of rational adult mothers and fathers. The only people capable of producing a village. A father is there at all times. An uncle us there as often as he visits, the same for a neighbor. They arent responsible for your progeny; a father is!

Kids just need people to look up to, and that can come from a variety of people.
Data emphatically suggests otherwise. In fact, it's practically undeniable.

there sure is a lot of telling a fellow wlw "you just haven't found da right man yet!!11" in this thread and like, your own religious/squick stuff aside, I don't think you're going to get anywhere posting at someone to maybe just get into dick, it doesn't work like that
i think your advice is hubris; but I'm not in control here. I would nudge her down the path I think is best. You would nudge her down the path that validates your world view. Objectively a Father is important.
 
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99.9% of humaninty grew up with Mom and Dad. This is not unhinged. LGBT members simply don't like it. The majority of LGBT self reported multiple mental illnesses, in fact the majority of left wing voters did. Why are you so sure your ideas based on that fact alone, are healthier than traditional ideas which we know produce solid outcomes?

Of rational adult mothers and fathers. The only people capable of producing a village. A father is there at all times. An uncle us there as often as he visits, the same for a neighbor. They arent responsible foe your progeny; a father is!


Data emphatically suggests otherwise. In fact, it's practically undeniable.


i think your advice is hubris; but I'm not in control here. I would nudge her down the path I think us best. You would nudge her down the path that validates your world view. Objectively a Father is important.

in the immortal words of douglas reynholm,
"i don't care, [...] it takes all sorts to make a world"

to justify hatred in the name of any god just seems entirely backwards. to quote from the bible on peoples sexuality is just antiquated. the bible also says:

"Anyone who beats their male or female slave with a rod must be punished if the slave dies as a direct result, 21 but they are not to be punished if the slave recovers after a day or two, since the slave is their property."

why is it so hard to believe that there are bad eggs in every group on earth? to single out an entire sexuality or orientation and mark them as unsuitable to parent because of a few news stories is silly. a father figure may be important but it is by no means a typical father who must take that role.

i hope you practice what you preach and one day learn that love prevails in all circumstances. arbitrary divisions will only harm us all, we are all in this together.
 
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Waitingfor2050

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in the immortal words of douglas reynholm,
"i don't care, [...] it takes all sorts to make a world"

to justify hatred in the name of any god just seems entirely backwards. to quote from the bible on peoples sexuality is just antiquated. the bible also says:

"Anyone who beats their male or female slave with a rod must be punished if the slave dies as a direct result, 21 but they are not to be punished if the slave recovers after a day or two, since the slave is their property."

why is it so hard to believe that there are bad eggs in every group on earth? to single out an entire sexuality or orientation and mark them as unsuitable to parent because of a few news stories is silly. a father figure may be important but it is by no means a typical father who must take that role.

i hope you practice what you preach and one day learn that love prevails in all circumstances. arbitrary divisions will only harm us all, we are all in this together.
This dude thinks he can just drop a quote from some dude, then a quote from the fucking bible, and get to ignore dozens of studies on the subject already linked.
Finishes it off with "uuuuuh there are bad people everywhere tho!!! but we mostly good :)" and with "we are all in this together"... Together in what?

Very in-depth analysis, I'll patiently wait for your next post.
 

shrapnelnet

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This dude thinks he can just drop a quote from some dude, then a quote from the fucking bible, and get to ignore dozens of studies on the subject already linked.
Finishes it off with "uuuuuh there are bad people everywhere tho!!! but we mostly good :)" and with "we are all in this together"... Together in what?

Very in-depth analysis, I'll patiently wait for your next post.

but you don't care about studies, people like you only care about the rhetoric you try to spread. if there were no studies you would still be like this and this is the root of the issue. what is the purpose of all of this?
 
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housepoopr

in the immortal words of douglas reynholm,
"i don't care, [...] it takes all sorts to make a world"
You don't care because you don't care about the welfare of Children over the reputation of the LGBT. I think they are precious vessels for the future of our people. I think it is folly for a society to become so decadent that sexual identity is a conceivable problem to start with, much less for those moral relativists to raise a child into the world. If you do this, you hate your child. A father who does not correct his child, does not care for him.
to justify hatred in the name of any god just seems entirely backwards. to quote from the bible on peoples sexuality is just antiquated. the bible also says:

I think LGBT people are children of God, who need a savior the same as me. Most of them have been given over to the flesh, and do as the flesh pleases, I was once like this. Do you think that God thinks that the adultery that I did, the consorting with prostitutes that I DID, Is ANY different whatsoever? No, he emphatically condemns sexual immorality dozens of times, under the old law, prior to Jesus Christ, I would have been stoned to death. LGBT wears their sin pridefully, and this is why they receive scorn.

The only difference between me and LGBT is Repentance. Repent means 'change of mind' in and it comes from the greek word: 'Metanoia' . It boils down to changing your mind and stance. It's wrong to have sexual encounters with prostitutes. It's wrong to sleep with someone else's wife. It's wrong to commit sodomy. I don't like the world view that validates sin and promotes degeneracy, and I abhor that this would be present with children.

We hear from the left often how there were catholic priests touching kids. 80% of them were homosexual, and the majority of offended were minor males. I don't think LGBT people with flexible morality and strange ideas about gender should be around children. For a number of reasons. 50% of the minor sex offenders were trans or had transvestic fetishizations, which is a fancy term for cross-dresser. Transvestite. Drag. Why do you think they like dancing for little children? "Family friendly" drag shows where they twerk and do what is shameful before children.

These people need real help; not affirmation. These people need real healthcare, not validation. It's the same reason I am strongly against transexual ideology: It's painfully apparent that we are dealing with someone who needs help, and help is not pretending and letting men invade women's spaces; if we're honest MtF is the vast majority of trans.

"Anyone who beats their male or female slave with a rod must be punished if the slave dies as a direct result, 21 but they are not to be punished if the slave recovers after a day or two, since the slave is their property."
You are purposefully the ignoring context, because you're arguing in bad faith. Jewish People sold themselves into slavery and servitude to get ahead in those days (7 year terms). They learned a trade, how to handle a household, livestock, room and board, and you didn't get paid, and the servitude was temporary, unless you were of a conquered people (defeated by the Israelites). People were also conquered by other nations and pressed into service for the conquerors; as was common among the Canaanites as well. the entire ancient world, the Israelites themselves were slaves in Egypt. Which for the record, was better than the alternative at the time, which is to kill everyone to the last man woman and child, and to drive them out of the land.

Didn't Joe Biden just call the Uighur Genocide a "Cultural Difference" and the left packed it in. Do you see how the noble left-wing ideals of equality go out the window when 'indigenous cultures' arguments come out. The idea that any atheist cares about this while wearing Nike, texting on a iPhone or a Macbook made by literal Chinese slave labor is beyond ironic to start with.
why is it so hard to believe that there are bad eggs in every group on earth?
You can't belong to a group that makes up 50% of the child offenders and say give me access to children. No sane person is going to do that. It doesn't matter if it's 1 in 100 when we adjust for population; it's still an incredibly high risk. You'd wear body armor everyday if your chances of getting shot today were 1 in 1000. I would.
to single out an entire sexuality or orientation and mark them as unsuitable to parent because of a few news stories is silly.
It's not a few. This is the bad faith again. We have detailed archives of thousands of instances of grooming by LGBT and allies country wide in the USA. I can show you literally hundreds of videos of people very proud to have access to children, where they intend to teach single digit age and even preschoolers about where they like buttering their bread.

Beyond that, we have the statistics on child offenders. We know that it's not a few. You clearly follow this ideology. You clearly have a vested interest in representing this positively. Embrace reality. Nothing that satisfies the ego, nothing that satisfies the self, nothing that gratifies and seeks after kinks and fetishes is ever going to be noble, nor is it ever going to be without teeth.

We know what pornography does to men and women. It takes them down a rabbit hole of needing more and more shocking pornography in order to get off. Suddenly naked woman A is not enough, more are needed, you have to pick the right one, and for an hour you are obessing over which one to finish to. It's not healthy, and it leads to high body counts, failed marriages, etc. Flee from sexual immorality.
i hope you practice what you preach and one day learn that love prevails in all circumstances.
Yet, we know from statistics that the majority of homosexual and transexual relationships are not monogamous. Love is not lust. Lust is what drives the behavior. I do not and will not accept a sinful lifestyle. I'll never celebrate it, and I'll never go along with pride. As long as you make your identity interwoven with the sin, with degeneracy, your perception of my disapproval will always be 'hate' because you can't see that my approval has nothing to do with my animus. If you say to me love is love; I will reply then, water is water; drink it from the toilet. You all know it's lust and we know it too. You can all lie to yourselves if you like, but I already know the truth. Hundreds of sex partners in a lifetime has nothing remotely to do with love.
arbitrary divisions will only harm us all, we are all in this together.
I am not with anyone who advocates and fosters an environment harmful to children. It's really simple to co-exist. Stay away from children.
 
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housepoopr

I don't really know what to say to this thread, but just as you said, father is not the same as role model.
How many children don't find a Hank Hill? The jailhouse is FILLED with them. They find bad role models, they find lil thug, moneyy_xxx, cardi_b, this rotting culture is FILLED with them.

Let me ask you a question @alix. How many rap songs do you remember by heart? In my generation is was Eminem. What do those lyrics promote? Chasing promiscuity, women, money, acting ignorantly, acting brashly, bragging, viciousness, licentiousness. Media is control of minds. I can make you value acting like a fool if you think it will get you social standing. Do you not see the record executives laughing as they pull the strings?

A Father's duty is to his child. His every day is to be a role model to his child. His every day is to love and take care of a raise a child. A father's duty is to police what his child watches, what media he or she consumes, what ideas are presented to them.


The data is clear; your position is not realistic. Fathers are required for the best outcome. Stop telling this woman to forge ahead and produce a life without the benefit of a father. You're influencing a woman to force some kid to suffer because like you want to have an 'acceptable opinion' relative to the degenerate ideas of the age. Have the courage to disagree with the hive; there is a reason stronger men and women dissent against the collective. They don't have to pass their opinions through a consensus filter to see if others will find the opinion acceptable.
 

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I'm a bit young for that (in our current era, since in 1975 people were having their first kid at my age), but I'm thinking about raising a family someday. I don't know if it'll ever come to fruition, but the desire is here. I'm definitely not planning on spending my life alone anyway, despite the supposed "freedom" and "empowerment" of being a single childless woman. But the issue is, I'd want my kids to have an actual father figure. I didn't really have one, myself, and there's plenty of evidence suggesting that kids without a father figure fare well worse in childhood like in adulthood, so I wouldn't want to impose that on my kids.

Problem is, I can't see myself marrying a man. The smell of testosterone doesn't turn me on, and I even quite dislike it. Very rarely does a man pass by and his perfume-free smell doesn't smell bad to me, and if that's the case, it's 100% of the time an old man. It makes sense, as testosterone levels decrease with age. I can't see myself going to bed with a man and waking up in that smell of testosterone, or having a man touch me this way. I can't even say "oh Aral, just get a trans woman", because those people are biologically male still. The smell doesn't lie. You can take all the hormones you'd like, your chromosomes stay XX or XY if we don't count the occasional intersex. Raising children with a woman is possible, but where's the father figure? Is it even natural for two people of the same sex to raise a child? I wouldn't mind being a stepmother, especially if the kid has a dad, but... I'm already afraid of fucking up any kid I would pop out by potentially being emotionally/psychologically abusive and not realizing it, what if the kid just doesn't have all that is required to grow up right and to become a well-adjusted adult? I don't want to go the single mother route, especially since I wouldn't want just one kid, but two relatively close in age, or twins. I think it's better for a child to have two parents, a mother figure and a father figure, like it should be. Not to mention the family unit is being purposely destroyed and I refuse to take part in this destruction.

It's so complicated for me whenever I think about raising a family because of that. No husband, a wife, but then how about the kids' development? How about their future? Their mental health in a world that's growing more and more chaotic by the day? And what if neither me nor my wife can stay at home and raise the kids? It's just such a clusterfuck. The right way to do things would be for me to find some guy to marry, have kids, and voila. But if the parents clearly don't love each other, or worse, if it's an unrequited love situation, that gives the shittiest example possible to kids, also. The damn thing is so complicated for me that I have trouble even making a coherent paragraph. Too stream-of-consciousness, I need to be more organized.

What would you think about same-sex parenting? Do you think that kids can grow up well-adjusted with two parents of the same sex, provided they're happy and well taken care of?
You can just fill in the gaps. It's not hard if you're a normal person. Take your kid fishing, teach them to ride a bike, to swim, hunt, blow something up with them. Being a woman doesn't disqualify you from filling the role of a father figure. I'm sure it will be a little odd at first because men and women just operate differently, but you can most certainly fill in those gaps. Anyway, just a long way of saying do what your dad did and you'll be fine. If you don't know how to do something, you can learn either from the internet or by asking a guy you know who has kids.
 

alix

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Let me ask you a question @alix. How many rap songs do you remember by heart? In my generation is was Eminem. What do those lyrics promote? Chasing promiscuity, women, money, acting ignorantly, acting brashly, bragging, viciousness, licentiousness. Media is control of minds. I can make you value acting like a fool if you think it will get you social standing. Do you not see the record executives laughing as they pull the strings?
Some of the Marshall Mathers LP, All Caps, some by Death Grips (which funnily doesn't have a good relationship with recording executives) and RATM if you consider them rap. And I would play none of these tracks to a child that isn't 13 or older.

Also sorry if I sounded like I'm trying to influence this, I genuinely don't think I am the most fitting to discuss this, I just wanted to point out how it's true that having a father won't mean it will be a good role model, and how many people also find role models in others.
 
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LostintheCycle

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You forgot to mention the grand canyon of disparity in amount of women who are heterosexual vs non-heterosexual. Hetereosexual women will report primarily male abusers. Heterosexual women make up the majority of women.

Adjust your result for the disparity; you'll find that lesbian couples have a drastically higher rate of domestic abuse.


That report wraps up 42 seperate studies on the matter since 1989. You are mistaken. The data is clear among LGBT relationships; they are more violent.

The reason is mental instability. As any laymen could tell you, without the need for 42 seperate studies since 1989 to tell you.
Did you actually read the report? Or did you Google "lesbian domestic abuse statistics" and posted whatever you found that you thought would prove your point?



Page 2:
Though the reported lifetime prevalence of IPV among lesbians is higher than heterosexual women, this is not a statistically significant difference.
Do you disagree with this statement in the report or is the difference actually significant?

Page 10:
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This table shows stats from all the studies that were investigated in this report. We are only really talking about the leftmost column here.
We immediately notice massive disagreement on what the number is, which are fairly evenly spread over the 8.5% - 55.0% total range.

Page 11.
The CDC found that 89.5% of bisexual women reported only male perpetrators of intimate partner physical violence, rape, and/or stalking, and 67.4% of lesbian women reported only female perpetrators. Presumably, therefore, nearly a third of lesbian women who have had these experiences have had one or more male perpetrators (Walters et al, 2013)
Men and women both contribute to the prevalence of intimate partner violence among sexual minority women.
So again, 67.4% multiplied with 40.4% is 27.2%. If you actually want to take this report seriously, you are still wrong.

Page 21.
According to the CDC's National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS), the prevalence of intimate partner violence among gay and bisexual men and lesbian women is not significantly different from heterosexual men and women, respectively.
There is limited research in this field that uses randomly-selected, representative samples. Including questions about individuals' sexual orientation (such as has been done in the NISVS) and gender identity in these types of national and state-level surveys would advance our understanding of IPV and IPSA among LGBT people by providing more generalizable findings.



The studies making up the report are in massive disagreement, but if you are to take the statements within it seriously... then you seem to actually be wrong. Hence, you linked a report that you obviously did not read. This proves what @shrapnelnet said:
but you don't care about studies, people like you only care about the rhetoric you try to spread. if there were no studies you would still be like this and this is the root of the issue. what is the purpose of all of this?

Too many people here are ignoring that the original post was 95% about Aral's predicament, 5% a question tacked on. I don't see how statistics apply to her life, in fact I don't think statistics really apply to any individual person's life. housepoopr, you are acting as if when she marries someone she's gonna roll a dice to determine if her partner will beat her, but that's not how it works.
 
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