mental illness and the long staircase

[shrapnelnet]

life has been tough lately. seen all too much on social media about "cute" mental illness. been struggling like shit and it makes me unchararistically antisocial and fills my head with stupid thoughts and makes my dreams horrifying and makes me paranoid of death at all times and it is so hard talking about it when i see guys talking about how cool it is to be mentally ill. so tired! so hard to talk about it. would love to hear about your experiences with anything similar, coping mechanisms and how to get into healthier behaviour.

 

[shrapnelnet]

To be honest ive been struggling just like that too. I dropped out of skool because of it. It is really really hard to talk about it, lol. Then everyone in your life asks if you're ok but you don't really know how to talk to them?
Get into healthier behavior.... Sweats. Cant give any good advice bc im washed up. Going outside is a good start.

ilike your website is it okay if i add your button?

ive been trying to eat better. going outside isnt an issue. good at masking with people and i have a social life and all of that shit but it truly makes me feel nothing. its like i know i SHOULD be happy and that's all i get. i do all of the stuff like therapy and medication and journalling but nothing makes anything change and it is all so very tiring. not to mention how hard it is to explain that you're unhappy for no reason. i'm content that its the way i am but some people will judge you for it and play the classic angle "uhhh men used to go to war" "people work in the mines you know" like that changes how i feel, or act like it's not masculine (not like i give a fuck about that). i dont want to live forever living like this though man, not at all.

 

[microbyte]

would love to hear about your experiences with anything similar, coping mechanisms and how to get into healthier behaviour.

I used to have that happen to me. And the main coping mechanism I used (still do now, but it's less of a coping mechanism and more a habit), is to run. While it may sound cliche and isn't for everybody, there's just something cathartic about just running. No headphones or anything, just your mind to keep you company. You get decent sneakers (I personally use the $25 used eBay ones), learn good form (youtube has good videos on it), and push yourself (and I mean push yourself), and it all starts to feel better. YMMV, but worth a shot.

 

[eve]

To be honest ive been struggling just like that too. I dropped out of skool because of it. It is really really hard to talk about it, lol. Then everyone in your life asks if you're ok but you don't really know how to talk to them?

i struggled with alot of stuff like this and my best advice is 2 tell ppl the truth about wut ur going thru and how u feel
if they actually care about u, they will stick around and understand u instead of just leaving

 

[happyhappy]

I feel like people online love to romanticize mental illness and depression. They boast about it and almost act like it's a competition to see who is more miserable. This only hurts the people who actually struggle since it becomes harder for them to seek help.

 

[emanon]

I tried therapy but couldn't even see the point of it. I was sitting there talking to the therapist and in real time analyzing why I was there and the absurdity of the situation. Knowing I could get pills if I said the right things, if I said some of the real things I felt he could put me in the psych ward or whatever and so on and so forth. I don't want anti-depressants because I don't want pills to feel "happy" or "normal" so I just keep living and enduring. Since therapy, I've also noticed how "mental health awareness" has almost become devoid of all meaning, after every mass shooting or suicide I hear about it's all people mention, but it's almost like everyone has just become preconditioned to say the same bullshit phrases.

"We have to deal with the cancer that is mental health." WTF does that mean?? I guess it's really over for us isn't it?

 

[幽邃森林]

its like i know i SHOULD be happy and that's all i get.

When I get a depressive episode the first thing I do is remind myself that I'm not 100% grounded in reality (if depression is severe enough, it can lead to psychosis). It then becomes a "my mind isn't calibrated right" issue instead of a "my life sucks" issue, the former of which is an easier problem to tackle. I think you're seeing your situation in a similar manner, and that's a good sign.

Sorry if I write cliche advice, but what I try to do then is exercise. Staying indoors is poisonous to my mind, so I try to exercise outside and I make an effort to do it in sunlight (definitely try to do it in sunlight. LARP as if you're photosynthetic). Socializing also helps, but ONLY if it's with positive minded people.

I've also never noticed myself "snapping out" of a depressive episode. So for me, I just need to acknowledge the fact that it will take some time and effort for me to feel happy and that's normal.

 

[LostintheCycle]

Since therapy, I've also noticed how "mental health awareness" has almost become devoid of all meaning, after every mass shooting or suicide I hear about it's all people mention, but it's almost like everyone has just become preconditioned to say the same bullshit phrases.

GUYS I AM VERY HELPFUL AND CARING ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH, HERE ARE SOME HOTLINES
1800 696969 StopTheSuicide
1800 420420 Suicide Hotline
1800 177013 FeelSad 501(c)3

 

[shrapnelnet]

View attachment 87775 GUYS I AM VERY HELPFUL AND CARING ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH, HERE ARE SOME HOTLINES
1800 696969 StopTheSuicide
1800 420420 Suicide Hotline
1800 177013 FeelSad 501(c)3

for all uk agoranons 116 123 is samaritans and they are always the best number for me whenever i am considering suicide or hurting myself, strongly recommend, always a friendly voice on the other end

 

[shrapnelnet]

"Perfectly normal life?"
it's all about treating this and treating that, pills for everyone, polluting the struggling people with toxic positivity, instead of taking a look over their shoulder and greeting the mass destruction and overall pitiful state of our world in the eye. And they wonder why everyone is depressed.
you can give a guy as many pills as you think he needs, but there's more to that.

i'd LOVE a toxic positivity pill. sadly all the pills prescribed to me just make my dick floppy randomly and do not change my mood at all lol

 

[shrapnelnet]

When I get a depressive episode the first thing I do is remind myself that I'm not 100% grounded in reality (if depression is severe enough, it can lead to psychosis). It then becomes a "my mind isn't calibrated right" issue instead of a "my life sucks" issue, the former of which is an easier problem to tackle. I think you're seeing your situation in a similar manner, and that's a good sign.

Sorry if I write cliche advice, but what I try to do then is exercise. Staying indoors is poisonous to my mind, so I try to exercise outside and I make an effort to do it in sunlight (definitely try to do it in sunlight. LARP as if you're photosynthetic). Socializing also helps, but ONLY if it's with positive minded people.

I've also never noticed myself "snapping out" of a depressive episode. So for me, I just need to acknowledge the fact that it will take some time and effort for me to feel happy and that's normal.

thank you, not cliche at all. exercise helps, so does forcing myself to go out with friends or having a drink. it's always fun or i know it should at least be fun. if this is an episode its definitely the longest one i've ever had, it's been maybe a year now.

although i do find hanging out with negative people helpful, makes me really happy to talk to others who are down and try to cheer them up for a little bit.

thank you for writing

 

[Eden]

I can only, of course, speak for myself. But I don't believe that "I feel bad.", "I'm depressed.", "I'm sad." are particularly good attitudes to embody. I have dealt (and continue to deal with, occasionally) a number of mental health issues. From nightmares and existential crises and self-esteem and more. When I "feel bad" I take that more as a message of my inside telling me "hey, something is wrong." And then a little further investigation is required: "What is wrong?". Therapy / therapists can be helpful in that investigation, but, imo, I find reading from or listening to people in the Psychology space incredibly helpful. There are a almost countless number of way something can "be wrong". Naturally, some psychologists / mental health professionals are going to be better at addressing some over others. Unfortunately, nowadays, I think it's too time consuming to look for a therapist, schedule an appointment, see if you're the right fit... Nope. Not worth it imo, not when we live in this age with so much access to information and research and studies and people.

@RisingThumb has a great piece called: Determining your Issue
@Psychcool has a deep interest in Psychology and is quite in-depth about it on his site: Psych

The first step with mental health, I think, is a little bit of study, of learning. How can you even figure out what's wrong if you don't know a bit of the language / lingo. The last resource I'll throw in here is: The Integral Guide to Well-Being The sad truth is all of this stuff, it's a marathon. Yes, there are some small spots of immediate relief, but most of the whole thing is gradual, a bit of a grind and requires commitment and discipline. And you have to decide if "your problem" warrants that commitment, if your coping mechanisms have impacted you to such a point that they're crippling you and deciding to prioritize setting aside the time to work through things.

I used to have that happen to me. And the main coping mechanism I used (still do now, but it's less of a coping mechanism and more a habit), is to run. While it may sound cliche and isn't for everybody, there's just something cathartic about just running. No headphones or anything, just your mind to keep you company. You get decent sneakers (I personally use the $25 used eBay ones), learn good form (youtube has good videos on it), and push yourself (and I mean push yourself), and it all starts to feel better. YMMV, but worth a shot.

Microbyte speaks an exceptional truth here. Though not the solution to everything of course, sometimes we dwell too much on problems rather than just DO. JUST DO IT, DO SOMETHING, DO ANYTHING. There's that idiom of "Walk. Even though you can't see ahead: WALK. Walk and the way appears." Sometimes action is indeed a remedy, and a powerful one. And questioning it, in any way, diminishes it's power.

Everyone's problems are uniquely twisted. But most have similarities and patterns, to assume you're alone or an exceptional case is a tad ignorant at best and possibly conceited at worse. Talk through things can help a bit, like on this forum, but the bulk of the work with mental health is a personal journey.

I hope this helps, @shrapnelnet

EDIT: Because Autism seems to be mentioned, here is my favorite resource: Autistic As Fxxk

 

[MindControlBoxer]

oh no another crazie 1!!11!!

 

[nsequeira119]

life has been tough lately. seen all too much on social media about "cute" mental illness. been struggling like shit and it makes me unchararistically antisocial and fills my head with stupid thoughts and makes my dreams horrifying and makes me paranoid of death at all times and it is so hard talking about it when i see guys talking about how cool it is to be mentally ill. so tired! so hard to talk about it. would love to hear about your experiences with anything similar, coping mechanisms and how to get into healthier behaviour.

I don't consider autism a mental illness, I define it only as a mental condition, because I believe that, if embraced and dealt with, and fully accepted as an intangible component of one's being, autism can be extremely beneficial. For instance, I never had depression until around half a year ago, when I tried weed for the first (and presumably last) time. I see zero appeal to the stuff, all it does is cause depression in me. I never knew how terrible depression was until I went through it, because up until that point I was able to regulate my emotions at will, turn them off and on like flipping a light switch. Many people have said I'm emotionless, and I don't think that's true- I have emotions but I don't display them outwardly, besides happiness or mild amusement. I haven't been legitimately sad or angry in a long, long time.

Since then I'm pretty sure I've made a complete recovery, in fact I think I'm even better off now that I was before, because I have a whole new perspective and understanding of depression, I can regulate my emotions exactly like I used to be able to, and I've fully embraced my status and outlook on the world, entirely secure in my being. I don't think this is at all common, total mental stability being one's default state. Especially not these days. But it is nonetheless the state in which I find myself.

I would say that mental illness is certainly not something to be romanticized, yet at the same time there's a big difference between merely being autistic and having legitimate mental crises that can lead to self-destructive behavior, and not all autistic people engage in self-destructive behavior, in fact if utilized correctly, the autistic mindset can be even more resilient to obstacles than the non-autistic mindset. If one embraces autism, it's virtually impossible to fall down any kind of self-loathing spiral. The key is not to worry about how one is perceived externally. That can seem difficult initially, but believe me... with autism it's easier than you might think.

 

[shrapnelnet]

I can only, of course, speak for myself. But I don't believe that "I feel bad.", "I'm depressed.", "I'm sad." are particularly good attitudes to embody. I have dealt (and continue to deal with, occasionally) a number of mental health issues. From nightmares and existential crises and self-esteem and more. When I "feel bad" I take that more as a message of my inside telling me "hey, something is wrong." And then a little further investigation is required: "What is wrong?". Therapy / therapists can be helpful in that investigation, but, imo, I find reading from or listening to people in the Psychology space incredibly helpful. There are a almost countless number of way something can "be wrong". Naturally, some psychologists / mental health professionals are going to be better at addressing some over others. Unfortunately, nowadays, I think it's too time consuming to look for a therapist, schedule an appointment, see if you're the right fit... Nope. Not worth it imo, not when we live in this age with so much access to information and research and studies and people.

@RisingThumb has a great piece called: Determining your Issue
@Psychcool has a deep interest in Psychology and is quite in-depth about it on his site: Psych

The first step with mental health, I think, is a little bit of study, of learning. How can you even figure out what's wrong if you don't know a bit of the language / lingo. The last resource I'll throw in here is: The Integral Guide to Well-Being The sad truth is all of this stuff, it's a marathon. Yes, there are some small spots of immediate relief, but most of the whole thing is gradual, a bit of a grind and requires commitment and discipline. And you have to decide if "your problem" warrants that commitment, if your coping mechanisms have impacted you to such a point that they're crippling you and deciding to prioritize setting aside the time to work through things.


Microbyte speaks an exceptional truth here. Though not the solution to everything of course, sometimes we dwell too much on problems rather than just DO. JUST DO IT, DO SOMETHING, DO ANYTHING. There's that idiom of "Walk. Even though you can't see ahead: WALK. Walk and the way appears." Sometimes action is indeed a remedy, and a powerful one. And questioning it, in any way, diminishes it's power.

Everyone's problems are uniquely twisted. But most have similarities and patterns, to assume you're alone or an exceptional case is a tad ignorant at best and possibly conceited at worse. Talk through things can help a bit, like on this forum, but the bulk of the work with mental health is a personal journey.

I hope this helps, @shrapnelnet

EDIT: Because Autism seems to be mentioned, here is my favorite resource: Autistic As Fxxk

thank you very much for these resources. my issue is that i'm aware that lying down and giving up doesn't make it easier, and i refuse to, but that in itself makes it no easier. feels less like a marathon sometimes and more of a cambodian death march.

therapy, for me, has certainly been a big help. there is only so much you can entrust to friends, whether that be due to it being comprimising or them having a self vested interest in whatever is wrong.

i will never stop trying to love everything i love ! i still fuck around with random pieces of wire and program shit and go out, and its hard but i know i cant stop.

again, thank you very much.

 

[Ross_Я]

When I "feel bad" I take that more as a message of my inside telling me "hey, something is wrong." And then a little further investigation is required: "What is wrong?".

Even if you realise what is wrong, sometimes it simply can't be fixed. Because, well, not everything in this life can be fixed.

But I don't believe that "I feel bad.", "I'm depressed.", "I'm sad." are particularly good attitudes to embody.

I mean, why the fuck would anyone even want to embody something like that. Jesus, modern world is weird.

And yeah, in my eyes, the best solution to depression when the pain becomes unbearable is still alcohol. I do not have serious attacks too often, so it works for me without any risks of alcoholism. Say what you want about rum and vodka, but a glass of that eases the pain immensely.

 

[Eden]

Even if you realise what is wrong, sometimes it simply can't be fixed. Because, well, not everything in this life can be fixed.

If it can't be fixed, then perhaps embracing it can also prove helpful as @nsequeira119 says with Autism

I mean, why the fuck would anyone even want to embody something like that. Jesus, modern world is weird.

I don't mean to say you want it, but perhaps you've made something that doesn't have to be a part of yourself, a part of yourself. And because its become a part of you, it may appear inseparable. But it is possible that it is not. Again, your problems are your own to try to shift through.

And yeah, in my eyes, the best solution to depression when the pain becomes unbearable is still alcohol. I do not have serious attacks too often, so it works for me without any risks of alcoholism. Say what you want about rum and vodka, but a glass of that eases the pain immensely.

I mean if that's not a cope I don't know what is, right? Not that I'm fully against alcohol, but in the context you're describing, I'd think it a bit concerning.

thank you very much

the best of luck my friend

 

[LostintheCycle]

I mean if that's not a cope I don't know what is, right? Not that I'm fully against alcohol, but in the context you're describing, I'd think it a bit concerning.

Well its concerning because people are well aware of the long term effects of alcohol consumption are
I think people are even self conscious of an addiction taking hold as a primary coping mechanism, though they don't use this knowledge to benefit themselves. I don't know about others but my personal experience with a nicotine addict confirm this is something which happens
But as someone living in a fairly comfy first world, I imagine there is little solace reachable just by the mind for the less fortunate, and physically effective items (tobacco/alcohol) become much easier in comparison, so I hold my judgment, and appreciate for some cases it may even be the better option, even though we understand the destructive properties well the alternative in a situation could be less visibly so but more so destructive.
I hope I make sense...

 

[Ross_Я]

I mean if that's not a cope I don't know what is, right? Not that I'm fully against alcohol, but in the context you're describing, I'd think it a bit concerning.

I don't get the point. Ain't this whole thread about coping with stuff? Running, walking, medicine...
And I'm definitely against embracing. As I've said in some other thread, your flaws are in you to fight against them in a neverending fight. At best you can give them a temporary ceasefire for a moment of peace, but to embrace that? Nah.
Granted, maybe there are several exception to the rule above. Autism sounds like it can be too severe to anyhow effectively fight against it. But overall, those exceptions just confirm the rule in my eyes.

 

[Eden]

I don't get the point. Ain't this whole thread about coping with stuff? Running, walking, medicine...

I am assuming we are using this definition of cope: A cope or coping mechanism, is a psychological strategy whereby someone rejects a harsh truth, and adopts a less disturbing belief instead. That, like, rather than deal with problem directly one is sidestepping it. Running, walking, medicine, therapy are strategies for addressing problems directly, not coping.