Lack of interactions with girls during childhood/teenagehood and its effects on the male psyche

[赤い男]

What no gf does to mfs

View attachment 51388

Three types of agora road users:
Loner weirdo without a father/mother figure
Living happy with your partner in an homosexual relationship
Married Boomers

 

[shinobu]

The dude from that pic had a sister though. But his story wasnt an anime so no incest

So... When are we banding together to make an anime metamorphosis where generic protagonist with a hentai haircut turns into an ugly bastard but his sister loves him anyway?

 

[remember_summer_days]

I got a gf shortly after joining agora, and we bonded over Lain. So my N=1 study disagrees and says that agora = gf

I've been... De00nked

 

[Junious]

I grew up with sisters and mother as father was always away for his career. I was a nerdy fat ugly dork through middle school and high school but always had friend girls even though I was too petrified by my own insecurity about appearances to do anything about it. I was, however, able to relate to women easily in a non-threatening, non-sexual way because of the gender dynamics of my household. I respected women's opinions because my household was a matriarchy. I was old enough to have taken care of my youngest sister as a baby, which taught me about nursing and caring for others in the gentle way typical of the fairer sex. I do believe exposure to women is very important, because if all you have as a basis for understanding is how women are portrayed on internet and other media, you will have a completely warped perspective of how to interact with them! Pop culture is designed to sell stuff, and sex sells. Therefore, women are way over-sexualized in their media portrayal. This viewpoint needs to be discarded. When you look at a woman, think about her with Marie Curie as an archetype rather than Pamela Anderson. Treat women with respect and it is in their very nature to be kind to you even if you are hideously ugly, fat, and mentally disabled. Treat women like shit and they will only treat you nice if you have something they want. It's that simple, boy-O's.

 

[handoferis]

It's been like one year that I'm watching pill channels and a lot of what they say makes sense and explain a lot my childhood/teenagehood experience towards the opposite sex. They preach that your looks determine your life, which means people (specially women) will treat you better if you are a Chad.

I feel like if I were more validated by girl my self esteem would be way higher than it is.

turn em off and go outside. fucking pill bullshit never gonna get you anywhere.

 

[№56]

Ever since I can remember, I never had a close friendship with girls the same age as me, and almost no girl would ever talk to me, it has been like this since kindergarten. Maybe it's because of my appearance features (light brown skinned, weak jawline, round face, potato nose, use eyeglasses, nerdy looks, skinny as hell, almost anorexic, shy, introvert, etc. Basically I'm a ugly black nerd)

I only remember one girl that I felt that were genuinely nice and friendly to me (with exception of female parents and relatives). But the majority of them would just ignore me or look me with a look of disgust.

And I feel that (if I'm not wrong, there are studies that kinda support my point) when boys are friends with girls at a scholar age, they become more confident, and I can tell by my life experience that this is true.

It's been like one year that I'm watching pill channels and a lot of what they say makes sense and explain a lot my childhood/teenagehood experience towards the opposite sex. They preach that your looks determine your life, which means people (specially women) will treat you better if you are a Chad.

I feel like if I were more validated by girl my self esteem would be way higher than it is.

In order to fell better about that myself and sorta scape from that stuff, I created a waifu, a imaginary wife. Her name is Aeryyn, every night, I fantasize with her for about 45 min to 1 hour, and that really helps me to cope with my lack of success with the opposite sex.

My therapist said that if I had a girlfriend that would really help me to feel better about myself, but my parents think I'm too young and immature, I don't know what to do so I keep coping with waifus and internet until my enlightenment comes

If you honestly feel this way stop asking strangers on the internet for advice. You'll get helpful responses, but every one of them will be from some armchair psychologist or internet tough guy who's giving you an answer (or telling you to shut up) because they want to "fix the incel problem" and not because they actually care about your happiness. Even if they truly mean well, they won't be capable of doing anything more than that because they don't know you in real life and can't help but see you as another instance of a generalized social issue that they've already formed an opinion on. If you're like me, reading these responses will make you feel terrible no matter how good the advice is. Allowing yourself to be treated as an obnoxious problem that needs to be solved is not going to improve your self-confidence, it's going to throw your negative thoughts into a feedback loop and trick you into thinking that you're irredeemable.
I'm not saying that you shouldn't open yourself up to other people, just that doing it on the internet is a bad idea. Talk to other people in real life who are capable of treating you as something more than a joke or a means to an end.

 

[h00]

Sorry, I'm not white, nor 6 ft, nor have blue eyes. So it's really not that simple

INCEL SPOTTED
GET THE FUCK OFF OUR FORUM

 

[Craige]

Ever since I can remember, I never had a close friendship with girls the same age as me, and almost no girl would ever talk to me, it has been like this since kindergarten. Maybe it's because of my appearance features (light brown skinned, weak jawline, round face, potato nose, use eyeglasses, nerdy looks, skinny as hell, almost anorexic, shy, introvert, etc. Basically I'm a ugly black nerd)

I only remember one girl that I felt that were genuinely nice and friendly to me (with exception of female parents and relatives). But the majority of them would just ignore me or look me with a look of disgust.

And I feel that (if I'm not wrong, there are studies that kinda support my point) when boys are friends with girls at a scholar age, they become more confident, and I can tell by my life experience that this is true.

It's been like one year that I'm watching pill channels and a lot of what they say makes sense and explain a lot my childhood/teenagehood experience towards the opposite sex. They preach that your looks determine your life, which means people (specially women) will treat you better if you are a Chad.

I feel like if I were more validated by girl my self esteem would be way higher than it is.

In order to fell better about that myself and sorta scape from that stuff, I created a waifu, a imaginary wife. Her name is Aeryyn, every night, I fantasize with her for about 45 min to 1 hour, and that really helps me to cope with my lack of success with the opposite sex.

My therapist said that if I had a girlfriend that would really help me to feel better about myself, but my parents think I'm too young and immature, I don't know what to do so I keep coping with waifus and internet until my enlightenment comes

as everyone else in this thread has been saying, definitely avoid pill channels and likely waifu cope. try and eliminate biological determinism (basically lookism) from your thought process, that resolves you of any responsibility or agency and locks off the path to self-improvement.
with regards to a lack of socializiation with women, you can always start. for most of my elementary school years i went to an all-boys school, but it only took a year or two for me to interact with women like a normal person. generally just try to see them as people, and do not set getting a girlfriend as a goal; try to make friends.
i guess just be aware of how people react to your behavior. that was super helpful for me; i used to be a super annoying shitstain and managed to become a tolerable human being out of it.

 

[Craige]

If you honestly feel this way stop asking strangers on the internet for advice. You'll get helpful responses, but every one of them will be from some armchair psychologist or internet tough guy who's giving you an answer (or telling you to shut up) because they want to "fix the incel problem" and not because they actually care about your happiness. Even if they truly mean well, they won't be capable of doing anything more than that because they don't know you in real life and can't help but see you as another instance of a generalized social issue that they've already formed an opinion on. If you're like me, reading these responses will make you feel terrible no matter how good the advice is. Allowing yourself to be treated as an obnoxious problem that needs to be solved is not going to improve your self-confidence, it's going to throw your negative thoughts into a feedback loop and trick you into thinking that you're irredeemable.
I'm not saying that you shouldn't open yourself up to other people, just that doing it on the internet is a bad idea. Talk to other people in real life who are capable of treating you as something more than a joke or a means to an end.

the reply below this is literally "fuck off incel" lol

also good luck op, may you ascend to swag and epicness

 

[deepfreeze]

If you honestly feel this way stop asking strangers on the internet for advice. You'll get helpful responses, but every one of them will be from some armchair psychologist or internet tough guy who's giving you an answer (or telling you to shut up) because they want to "fix the incel problem" and not because they actually care about your happiness. Even if they truly mean well, they won't be capable of doing anything more than that because they don't know you in real life and can't help but see you as another instance of a generalized social issue that they've already formed an opinion on. If you're like me, reading these responses will make you feel terrible no matter how good the advice is. Allowing yourself to be treated as an obnoxious problem that needs to be solved is not going to improve your self-confidence, it's going to throw your negative thoughts into a feedback loop and trick you into thinking that you're irredeemable.
I'm not saying that you shouldn't open yourself up to other people, just that doing it on the internet is a bad idea. Talk to other people in real life who are capable of treating you as something more than a joke or a means to an end.

It seems like most of the posts are responding to OP in good faith...

INCEL SPOTTED
GET THE FUCK OFF OUR FORUM

...well, some of them at least.

If OP had someone in his life to talk to about this he would be, so either he doesn't or the advice he is getting is shit which is why he turned to the internet in the first place. In doing so, it is clear he is going down the rabbit hole of extremist ideology that conveniently absolves him of the responsibility to step out of his comfort zone and improve himself. As long as he is stuck in this cycle his condition will get worse and worse. Its not my intention to hurt the kid, but sometimes you have to tell people shit they don't want to hear. The general consensus of this thread is to return to monke, and while that may seem trite and ridiculous it is a meme for a reason. It won't solve all of his problems overnight but it will at least get him into a better headspace.

 

[deepfreeze]

Also, if you are/were a bullied nerd with an absent father, as I was, you were probably sold a bizarre revenge fantasy, likely by your own mother. It sounds like this: "Don't worry sweetie. You're my very smart, very special boy. One day when you're making millions of dollars at the Science Factory and banging supermodels they'll be sorry. They'll all be sorry!" The dimensions and magnitude of stupidity and toxicity in this is breathtaking and I suspect is the true gateway to pillshit.

 

[handoferis]

You'll get helpful responses, but every one of them will be from some armchair psychologist or internet tough guy who's giving you an answer (or telling you to shut up) because they want to "fix the incel problem" and not because they actually care about your happiness.

rare case where i'll pull my "wow whoa oh shit woman behind the keyboard" card but i typically make sure to say "pill bullshit will never get you anywhere" cause imo these kinda guys hearing it from women that it's the biggest turnoff in the world might be the best chance they've got of breaking out of the loop

 

[Regal]

Not all answers can be found on the internet. In fact, I suspect your problems exist because of you using the internet.

Turn off your computer, go find some non-digital hobbies and experience, and develop a personality. You can't control being ugly, but you can control being a loser.

 

[UCD]

FUCK OFF INCEL (with compassion) TOUCH GRASS (encouragingly)

 

[Outer Heaven]

Ever since I can remember, I never had a close friendship with girls the same age as me, and almost no girl would ever talk to me, it has been like this since kindergarten. Maybe it's because of my appearance features (light brown skinned, weak jawline, round face, potato nose, use eyeglasses, nerdy looks, skinny as hell, almost anorexic, shy, introvert, etc. Basically I'm a ugly black nerd)

I think an important change you have to have with your mindset is that you can improve. All the things you mentioned, other than being black lol, can be changed by your actions. Part of being a man is taking on this challenge and getting better. The advice everyone is giving you here to lift weights is 100% effective. If you put on some muscle, you'll look better, which will make you feel more confident. It will also teach you discipline and show you that you can achieve things when you put in the effort. From there, dress well and try your best to socialize with people. The more experience you have just talking to people, the easier it will get to do so. You wont feel anxious or timid approaching people.

If you fixate on getting approval from other people, you'll never improve and you'll always be reliant on others for your self esteem. Your problem isn't a girl problem, its a self hatred problem.

 

[Andy Kaufman]

one year that I'm watching pill channels

found your problem

 

[mydadiscar]

View attachment 51477



found your problem

This ain't a selfie thread, Andy.

 

[Jessica3cho雪血⊜青意]

And I feel that (if I'm not wrong, there are studies that kinda support my point) when boys are friends with girls at a scholar age, they become more confident, and I can tell by my life experience that this is true.

Look mate, I spent a lot of time around girls my whole life, both because my mom's friends had girls, so playdates were with girls a lot, and because I unwittingly pulled bitches as a teen. Now, my joke-y lingo aside, there, I was in a lot of relationships before I got married. To this day, though, I still lack a lot of confidence in particular areas. Its the human condition and its the human experience. Now, I have a plethora of issues that plague me personally, but we all do. So, regardless of the issues you face, all humans can share that commonality.
Now, with the light skimming I did, I've already seen the, "lift weights", aka 'pick up something heavy, put it down, pick it up' mindset tossed in. Its a good one, be sure of that. Many misunderstand it, though. Here is a little something to think about:

As a kid, I was very capable and had a lot of talent in a lot of areas. I didn't need to work hard to be good at a number of things. So, I tried very little. If it did not come naturally, I tossed in the towel and walked away. As a result, my confidence began to shatter and dwindle. I tried less and less, gave up on more and more. Regardless of how good one is, there comes a point where on must try, fail, and try again; they can no longer simply succeed. As I dropped out of college and began tossing in the towel in life, I came across the "Pick Up Something Heavy" philosophy. It typically comes in the form of "lift weights", because it is simple, straightforward, and a lot of people view physical prowess as a center point for life. Here's where we get lost in the sauce, though. This sentiment is applicable to any aspect of your life. See, giving in the towel, giving up on a hobby, that's putting the rock down. When people are told to pick something heavy up, its telling them to strain themselves. Go after that difficult task, purposefully, and with intention. You may find, as I did, that even if you fail, even if the task is straining or painful, that you will begin to feel a sense of self. By lifting that heavy task (we can see that heavy is meant to be figurative), you will come to find as purpose for yourself. When you have purpose, you will find the desire to strive for it. When you strive for it, you will feel capable, and thus build confidence. When you eventually find that you can lift that heavy rock with far less effort than before, you will feel accomplished.

And that is the cycle. Once accomplishment sets in, you become sedentary. That is why you must pick up a heavy rock. Go out into the world, find yourself a heavy rock, and pick that damnable thing up. Let the rock consume your life and when it does... you may find things you desire come your way without you even noticing.

What is the point of all this? Perhaps its to tell you that you don't "build confidence". You become more confident. Confidence is not a trait to work on and neither is pulling a girl. Neither are things you can work on, study for, or improve directly. What you can do, though, is directly affect yourself and what you do. Through that, your other aspects will grow with time. Do not sit around trying to make the water flow to your will. You will never influence the water. Instead, chop down some trees. Build a raft. Learn valuable skills. Eventually, you will be able to cross the river, or float down it, or perhaps even reroute the river. Then, you will find that you do not need to change the flow of the water, but become something the water flows to.

 

[Andy Kaufman]

Confidence is not a trait to work on and neither is pulling a girl. Neither are things you can work on, study for, or improve directly.

I agree with most of your post but this one I'd disagree with. January 2020 I came out of a 3 year long relationship and mid lockdowns, I tried online dating despite initially being extremely opposed to it.
Met about a dozen girls through it and having a lot of "first dates" with girls you find very attracitve in a short timespan really really helps to lose the nervousness of "Will she like me? What if I fuck up? OMG!!". Because if you already had 10, you know that even if it doesn't work out, the 11th try isn't far away and you kind of stop making such a mythos out of girls and dating. So I would definitely recommend just meeting girls whenever possible and "grind XP" in gaming terms because it will eventually make you more confident around them in a romantic context.

 

[Pink Fluffy Cat]

lol wtf is this incel wall of text shit just find a sex worker unironically, way more guaranteed this way.

Edit : OP is too young for all of these shit, come back when you are 18 or older.