I was rejected from hogwarts today :(

[remember_summer_days]

Literally nothing in Jowling Kowling Rowling's attempt at a magic system could stand up to so-called muggle ingenuity
View attachment 69570
Stop this one, fuckers

this, I refuse to believe neither the KGB, CIA, M16 hadn't infiltrated Hogwarts at some point

 

[remember_summer_days]

Gotta be. The most dangerous spell they have (Avocado Cadaver or something) is only marginally better than literally any firearm because it's unlimited in ammo, but still has pathetic range and casting speed when compared to contemporary weapons. Complete joke.

Wrong. The most powerful spell wizards have is misgendering a trans person

 

[Dr. MacGutsy]

Mass casting at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Six dead and four injured. Corobus Wezesith is on scene.


This would make a good short story.

 

[mydadiscar]

Mass casting at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Six dead and four injured. Corobus Wezesith is on scene.


This would make a good short story.

I remember stumbling across a fanfic a few years back where that one guy in the house that no one likes committed a shooting.
(as you can tell, I am incredibly knowledgable about the lore of Harry Potter)

 

[mydadiscar]

Wrong. The most powerful spell wizards have is misgendering a trans person

Or suddenly revealing that their opponent is gay.

 

[The_Hierophant]

Got this in the mail today.

Dear [Pangolin]:

We hope this letter finds you well. We would like to express our gratitude for your interest in attending Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The selection process is always a difficult one, and we appreciate the time and effort you put into your application.

After careful consideration, we regret to inform you that we are unable to offer you a place at Hogwarts. Our decision is based on several factors that emerged during the application process. While we acknowledge individuality and diversity in our prospective students, certain aspects of your application have raised concerns that do not align with the values and principles upheld at our esteemed institution.

Firstly, we must emphasize that Hogwarts promotes an environment of respect and camaraderie among all students. Your expressed fascination with Ankha, a character from a non-magical world, suggests a strong attachment to fictional entities that may not resonate with the core curriculum and ethos of our school.

Furthermore, we have noted your identification as a furry. While we respect each person's right to their interests and identity, we must consider the potential implications on the overall dynamic of the student body. Hogwarts seeks to foster an inclusive atmosphere where all students can feel comfortable and accepted, and some aspects of furry culture may not necessarily align with this objective.

Lastly, your general disagreeableness as indicated in your application and interactions with our admissions team is a matter of concern. At Hogwarts, we encourage students to cultivate positive relationships with their peers and the staff, nurturing an environment of cooperation and friendship that is vital to personal and magical growth.

We understand that this news may be disappointing, and we encourage you to continue pursuing your magical education elsewhere, as there are numerous schools that cater to various interests and magical specialties.

Once again, we appreciate your interest in Hogwarts and wish you the best in your future endeavors.

Yours sincerely,

The Admissions Committee
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

damn

 

[napata]

Hogwarts is overrated, come attend Tokyo Jujutsu High with me bro. Curse technique is the new hot shit. It's much more useful than stupid magic, you can eat dried fingers and frankenstein a panda or something idk.

 

[InsufferableCynic]

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jtQsGIGfr8I

 

[mydadiscar]

Gotta be. The most dangerous spell they have (Avocado Cadaver or something) is only marginally better than literally any firearm because it's unlimited in ammo, but still has pathetic range and casting speed when compared to contemporary weapons. Complete joke.

View: https://youtu.be/Mr113o4i8zg

 

[alix]

I always thought of this as a kid. What's the likelihood of someone pulling a gun and just blowing a wizard's brains out? It's gotta have happened at least once right?

They are completely isolated from the public, so I don't think so (at least in Britain). If the wizards tried to fight against the muggles they would completely lose. They don't have guns, armored vehicles, or even the Internet. They live in the middle ages but with trains, cars and stoves.

 

[alix]

They are completely isolated from the public, so I don't think so (at least in Britain). If the wizards tried to fight against the muggles they would completely lose. They don't have guns, armored vehicles, or even the Internet. They live in the middle ages but with trains, cars and stoves.

We don't know a lot because of Rowling's shitty worldbuilding. I wonder what the wizarding world social values are

 

[no_chill]

We don't know a lot because of Rowling's shitty worldbuilding. I wonder what the wizarding world social values are

They despise Trans and wokies a lot. Not being in touch with reality and spirituality is a great insult to any mage.

 

[housepoopr]

Harry Plopper and the magic wizard fans seethin rn.

 

[№56]

I always thought of this as a kid. What's the likelihood of someone pulling a gun and just blowing a wizard's brains out? It's gotta have happened at least once right?

Time to post the copypasta:

Ok, this has been driving me crazy for seven movies now, and I know you're going to roll your eyes, but hear me out: Harry Potter should have carried a 1911. Here's why: Think about how quickly the entire WWWIII (Wizarding-World War III) would have ended if all of the good guys had simply armed up with good ol' American hot lead. Basilisk? Let's see how tough it is when you shoot it with a .470 Nitro Express. Worried about its Medusa-gaze? Wear night vision goggles. The image is light-amplified and re-transmitted to your eyes. You aren't looking at it--you're looking at a picture of it. Imagine how epic the first movie would be if Harry had put a breeching charge on the bathroom wall, flash-banged the hole, and then went in wearing NVGs and a Kevlar-weave stab-vest, carrying a SPAS-12. And have you noticed that only Europe seems to a problem with Deatheaters? Maybe it's because Americans have spent the last 200 years shooting deer, playing GTA: Vice City, and keeping an eye out for black helicopters over their compounds. Meanwhile, Brits have been cutting their steaks with spoons. Remember: gun-control means that Voldemort wins. God made wizards and God made muggles, but Samuel Colt made them equal. Now I know what you're going to say: "But a wizard could just disarm someone with a gun!" Yeah, well they can also disarm someone with a wand (as they do many times throughout the books/movies). But which is faster: saying a spell or pulling a trigger? Avada Kedavra, meet Avtomat Kalashnikova. Imagine Harry out in the woods, wearing his invisibility cloak, carrying a .50bmg Barrett, turning Deatheaters into pink mist, scratching a lightning bolt into his rifle stock for each kill. I don't think Madam Pomfrey has any spells that can scrape your brains off of the trees and put you back together after something like that. Voldemort's wand may be 13.5 inches with a Phoenix-feather core, but Harry's would be 0.50 inches with a tungsten core. Let's see Voldy wave his at 3,000 feet per second. Better hope you have some Essence of Dittany for that sucking chest wound. I can see it now...Voldemort roaring with evil laughter and boasting to Harry that he can't be killed, since he is protected by seven Horcruxes, only to have Harry give a crooked grin, flick his cigarette butt away, and deliver what would easily be the best one-liner in the entire series: "Well then I guess it's a good thing my 1911 holds 7+1." And that is why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911.

 

[Pangolin]

Time to post the copypasta:

Ok, this has been driving me crazy for seven movies now, and I know you're going to roll your eyes, but hear me out: Harry Potter should have carried a 1911. Here's why: Think about how quickly the entire WWWIII (Wizarding-World War III) would have ended if all of the good guys had simply armed up with good ol' American hot lead. Basilisk? Let's see how tough it is when you shoot it with a .470 Nitro Express. Worried about its Medusa-gaze? Wear night vision goggles. The image is light-amplified and re-transmitted to your eyes. You aren't looking at it--you're looking at a picture of it. Imagine how epic the first movie would be if Harry had put a breeching charge on the bathroom wall, flash-banged the hole, and then went in wearing NVGs and a Kevlar-weave stab-vest, carrying a SPAS-12. And have you noticed that only Europe seems to a problem with Deatheaters? Maybe it's because Americans have spent the last 200 years shooting deer, playing GTA: Vice City, and keeping an eye out for black helicopters over their compounds. Meanwhile, Brits have been cutting their steaks with spoons. Remember: gun-control means that Voldemort wins. God made wizards and God made muggles, but Samuel Colt made them equal. Now I know what you're going to say: "But a wizard could just disarm someone with a gun!" Yeah, well they can also disarm someone with a wand (as they do many times throughout the books/movies). But which is faster: saying a spell or pulling a trigger? Avada Kedavra, meet Avtomat Kalashnikova. Imagine Harry out in the woods, wearing his invisibility cloak, carrying a .50bmg Barrett, turning Deatheaters into pink mist, scratching a lightning bolt into his rifle stock for each kill. I don't think Madam Pomfrey has any spells that can scrape your brains off of the trees and put you back together after something like that. Voldemort's wand may be 13.5 inches with a Phoenix-feather core, but Harry's would be 0.50 inches with a tungsten core. Let's see Voldy wave his at 3,000 feet per second. Better hope you have some Essence of Dittany for that sucking chest wound. I can see it now...Voldemort roaring with evil laughter and boasting to Harry that he can't be killed, since he is protected by seven Horcruxes, only to have Harry give a crooked grin, flick his cigarette butt away, and deliver what would easily be the best one-liner in the entire series: "Well then I guess it's a good thing my 1911 holds 7+1." And that is why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911.

This is what I imagine the American version of Harry Potter movies. A lot more action. I never actually saw any Harry Potter movies because I always faded out from boredom. Magic is cool and an awesome tool for storytelling, but she went and sterillized it to hell.

We don't know a lot because of Rowling's shitty worldbuilding. I wonder what the wizarding world social values are

Agora road magic is awesome thread :D

 

[BLOODMAGE]

harry potter was a little bitch anyways